The stress of modern life is something all of us are familiar with.
And we also know very well that stress can adversely affect our health.
High blood pressure, migraines, heart problems, all these and more commonly stem from frustration and anxiety.
Many of us though, still can't seem to relax. It could be upbringing, character, mindset, obligations or simply the routines and habits we've locked ourselves in, these people feel they always have to be in control or they have to be productive all the time or there's always some issue they can't seem to let go of.
These people are at high risk of developing serious health problems.
Are you perhaps also potentially stressing yourself ill?
Well, do you usually feel an urgency to accomplish more and more things in less and less time? Are you easily frustrated by people or systems which don't seem to be operating at their maximum efficiency or to your standards?
Do you often bring work home?
Do you feel you have to be in control all the time?
Do you feel you have to be right all the time? Do you always feel the pressure to win?
Many people who are in danger of developing stress-related health problems don't even know that they're doing real harm to their health.
There's nothing wrong with seeking perfection and striving to do your best, but it's also important to know how to relax. You can achieve so much in your life but if you eventually lose the good health needed to enjoy the fruits of your labour, then it has come to naught.
So stop, take a breath and critically examine the areas of your life you can back on.
Include some relaxation time in your daily schedule.
If you think your loved one is at risk, arrange more opportunities for you and him or her to spend some relaxing times together.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Stress Management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress Management. Show all posts
Your Worries Are Not Reality
It's generally ok to worry about certain things we fear will ensue. This can be a useful instinct because it's a warning bell that can motivate us to find solutions or make preparations.
But our anxieties can occasionally overwhelm us. This is when we cannot seem to enjoy anything because we are too afraid of what's to come. Some of us cannot relax or sleep. Some of us even suffer panic attacks, where we feel we cannot breathe, that the world is collapsing around us, or in extreme cases, even harbour fleeting thoughts of suicide.
When this happens, it's important for us to remind ourselves that our worries are not reality. They are a distortion of reality, an illusion of exaggeration that we give wings in our mind. We imagine all the worst things that could happen, but these scenarios are not based on fact; they are not based on anything but our imagination.
So if you're feeling anxious about something, especially something you realistically cannot do anything about, stop and turn your attention to something else, preferably something soothing. Go for a swim or a jog. Talk to someone.
Worries grow bigger by repetition and concentration; they like building upon themselves. So deny your worries that opportunity and switch your focus!
Another good way to alleviate your worries is to challenge them with rational thought. As I said before, worries are fancy concoctions of the mind, and when countered with objectivity and common sense, they often look rather silly. We also often read too much into how things look or what people say and assume that it's going to produce a negative result.
But turn to the facts instead. If I needed, find out more. Simply ask. Do your research. There are often many aspects to any occurrence. Is it possible it could actually be good for you in some way? Perhaps it's focusing you to do something you know you should but have just been terribly lazy about or been fearful of it?
When you're having an anxiety attack, remember that your worries are not reality. They're most likely fabrications of an over-active mind! So either let the fear go or let the facts inform your preparatory or remedying action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
But our anxieties can occasionally overwhelm us. This is when we cannot seem to enjoy anything because we are too afraid of what's to come. Some of us cannot relax or sleep. Some of us even suffer panic attacks, where we feel we cannot breathe, that the world is collapsing around us, or in extreme cases, even harbour fleeting thoughts of suicide.
When this happens, it's important for us to remind ourselves that our worries are not reality. They are a distortion of reality, an illusion of exaggeration that we give wings in our mind. We imagine all the worst things that could happen, but these scenarios are not based on fact; they are not based on anything but our imagination.
So if you're feeling anxious about something, especially something you realistically cannot do anything about, stop and turn your attention to something else, preferably something soothing. Go for a swim or a jog. Talk to someone.
Worries grow bigger by repetition and concentration; they like building upon themselves. So deny your worries that opportunity and switch your focus!
Another good way to alleviate your worries is to challenge them with rational thought. As I said before, worries are fancy concoctions of the mind, and when countered with objectivity and common sense, they often look rather silly. We also often read too much into how things look or what people say and assume that it's going to produce a negative result.
But turn to the facts instead. If I needed, find out more. Simply ask. Do your research. There are often many aspects to any occurrence. Is it possible it could actually be good for you in some way? Perhaps it's focusing you to do something you know you should but have just been terribly lazy about or been fearful of it?
When you're having an anxiety attack, remember that your worries are not reality. They're most likely fabrications of an over-active mind! So either let the fear go or let the facts inform your preparatory or remedying action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Smart People Doing Stupid Things
Religious leader jailed for misappropriation of charity funds. Doctor suspended for improperly prescribing sleeping pills. Actor sentenced for molesting colleague. Company directory convicted for tax evasion. Nurse jailed for cheating patient of money. Teacher jailed of murdering ex-lover.
News headlines that beg the question - "why do smart people do stupid things?"
These are arguably intelligent people, most of them having had illustrious careers in their own way, their achievements plain to see, their track records unblemished until the fateful act.
It's easy for us to pass judgment; to proclaim "he deserved it!", "what loose morals he must have!", "as a trusted role model, how could he stoop so low?", and so on.
But what happened to this person could happen to any of us. What makes us think that we have more self-control than these people, many of whom had, before their misdemeanour, achieved more than the average person? What makes us so sure that if we were put through the same paces that we wouldn't do the same thing?
We are all capable of doing the wrong thing. So how can we avoid stumbling hard in a moment of folly?
First, don't react on impulse. We often make foolish decisions because we haven't yet given the matter deeper thought. Like buying a big-ticket item, always give yourself a cooling-off period to reflect on what you are about to do. Don't allow your emotions to overrule logical thinking. If you think something is "wrong", it probably is.
We also often do stupid things to polish our ego. Perhaps we feel we have attained a status that given us the privilege to bend the rules a little. People may also stroke our ego in order to get what they want from us.
When pondering a dubious option, don't take it at face-value. Don't simply trust what others tell you. Find out for yourself. Many people make decisions they regret later because they didn't bother to ascertain their assumptions. "I wasn't aware" though is a defense that doesn't hold water in the eyes of the law.
Many people also routine risk long-term happiness for short-term gratification - kickbacks, sexual favours, or a committing a vengeful act in a moment of anger. Think about it.... is it worth it? Some fast cash or fleeting pleasure for a lifetime of regret?
No doubt we are human after all... and part of being human is the tendency to give in to temptation. I am not saying we can always transcend this weakness, but we ca certainly weigh our sacrifices and gains carefully before acting.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
News headlines that beg the question - "why do smart people do stupid things?"
These are arguably intelligent people, most of them having had illustrious careers in their own way, their achievements plain to see, their track records unblemished until the fateful act.
It's easy for us to pass judgment; to proclaim "he deserved it!", "what loose morals he must have!", "as a trusted role model, how could he stoop so low?", and so on.
But what happened to this person could happen to any of us. What makes us think that we have more self-control than these people, many of whom had, before their misdemeanour, achieved more than the average person? What makes us so sure that if we were put through the same paces that we wouldn't do the same thing?
We are all capable of doing the wrong thing. So how can we avoid stumbling hard in a moment of folly?
First, don't react on impulse. We often make foolish decisions because we haven't yet given the matter deeper thought. Like buying a big-ticket item, always give yourself a cooling-off period to reflect on what you are about to do. Don't allow your emotions to overrule logical thinking. If you think something is "wrong", it probably is.
We also often do stupid things to polish our ego. Perhaps we feel we have attained a status that given us the privilege to bend the rules a little. People may also stroke our ego in order to get what they want from us.
When pondering a dubious option, don't take it at face-value. Don't simply trust what others tell you. Find out for yourself. Many people make decisions they regret later because they didn't bother to ascertain their assumptions. "I wasn't aware" though is a defense that doesn't hold water in the eyes of the law.
Many people also routine risk long-term happiness for short-term gratification - kickbacks, sexual favours, or a committing a vengeful act in a moment of anger. Think about it.... is it worth it? Some fast cash or fleeting pleasure for a lifetime of regret?
No doubt we are human after all... and part of being human is the tendency to give in to temptation. I am not saying we can always transcend this weakness, but we ca certainly weigh our sacrifices and gains carefully before acting.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Handling Bad Days
In our pursuit of daily happiness, we are sometimes faced with one of the most daunting truths of all - that some days will inevitably be bad. Your alarm clock runs out of power during the night, your usb drive crashes, the cat scratches the new couch, you are late for an important sales presentation and of course, you are caught in the most massive traffic jam of your life.
Yes, bad days do happen, and most times, the day seems to freakishly get worse and worse. That's because these kinks throws us off our stride; when the first salvo strives, we lose our calm and orientation, and because we are so frazzled, we are less likely to see the next pothole. Down we go again...
It's understandably tough to keep our spirits up on days like this, and our sullen disposition can cause us to unintentionally offend key people in our lives. You get the idea... most bad days seem to go on forever because we allow the negative emotions to stay with us. And the more we hold on these feelings, the more trouble they invite.
The problem is that we often allow bad days to narrow our vision. We slide into self-pity and start to believe that things are just about the worst they can get. We forget about how good our lives really are and just how much we really have. We allow a little mess or an insensitive person to make us angry with ourselves and the world.
But you know, in truth, most bad days are really not so tough. What's a lost account, or a spat with a colleague, when there are people out there dealing with cancer, disability, or the recent death of a loved one? Everyday, babies are born into poor or disadvantaged conditions... many of them having to live with disfigurement or disease because of the lack of basic medical care... millions whose lives are a struggle everyday... and here we are, perfectly health and able, living free, modern, comfortable lives and bemoaning the state of our day?
It's only human I guess... When things are good, it's easy to see a petty trouble as an unjust intrusion. But life is too short and too precious to be living in anger or resentment.
So the next time your day seems to take a bad turn, remember... you can choose not to react negatively. You have the power not to respond the same way an angry or resentful person might respond. If it's a rude or ignorant person you are facing, you can choose to ignore him and walk away.
Put the situation in perspective and react in a manner in accordance with its magnitude. How can you best deal with the problem? Is it truly worth considering? What's the next best thing you can do to remedy the situation? Can the lemon indeed be turned into a sponge pudding?
As writer and Holocaust victim Anne Frank once wrote: "Our very lives are fashioned by choice. First we make choices. Then our choices make us."
What choices will you make?
Yes, bad days do happen, and most times, the day seems to freakishly get worse and worse. That's because these kinks throws us off our stride; when the first salvo strives, we lose our calm and orientation, and because we are so frazzled, we are less likely to see the next pothole. Down we go again...
It's understandably tough to keep our spirits up on days like this, and our sullen disposition can cause us to unintentionally offend key people in our lives. You get the idea... most bad days seem to go on forever because we allow the negative emotions to stay with us. And the more we hold on these feelings, the more trouble they invite.
The problem is that we often allow bad days to narrow our vision. We slide into self-pity and start to believe that things are just about the worst they can get. We forget about how good our lives really are and just how much we really have. We allow a little mess or an insensitive person to make us angry with ourselves and the world.
But you know, in truth, most bad days are really not so tough. What's a lost account, or a spat with a colleague, when there are people out there dealing with cancer, disability, or the recent death of a loved one? Everyday, babies are born into poor or disadvantaged conditions... many of them having to live with disfigurement or disease because of the lack of basic medical care... millions whose lives are a struggle everyday... and here we are, perfectly health and able, living free, modern, comfortable lives and bemoaning the state of our day?
It's only human I guess... When things are good, it's easy to see a petty trouble as an unjust intrusion. But life is too short and too precious to be living in anger or resentment.
So the next time your day seems to take a bad turn, remember... you can choose not to react negatively. You have the power not to respond the same way an angry or resentful person might respond. If it's a rude or ignorant person you are facing, you can choose to ignore him and walk away.
Put the situation in perspective and react in a manner in accordance with its magnitude. How can you best deal with the problem? Is it truly worth considering? What's the next best thing you can do to remedy the situation? Can the lemon indeed be turned into a sponge pudding?
As writer and Holocaust victim Anne Frank once wrote: "Our very lives are fashioned by choice. First we make choices. Then our choices make us."
What choices will you make?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Creating Your Own Inspiring Personal Space
Stress can prematurely age our mind and body. If not dealt with effectively, chronic stress and worrying can place undue strain upon our cardiovascular and immune systems. It can also make us prone to mood disorders and negatively affect our cognitive functions. having a safe and comfortable place where we can relax and unwind can help improve our well-being and produce feelings of peace and tranquility.
Here are some easy ways to make your personal space a true comfort zone.
Your favourite music and natural sounds can help you relax and unwind. Sounds have the ability to alter our perceptions and instantly change our mood.
Live plants create a peaceful atmosphere. They improve the ambience and air quality of indoor environments, and induce a positive energy around them.
Soft and adjustable lighting can create a soothing atmosphere. Look for light bulbs that are bright, but not harsh. Being able to adjust the brightness of your lighting will give you more control of the mood of your space.
A fresh and pleasant fragrance can transport you to a peaceful place and time. Use air purifiers or essential oils to create the 'aroma' you find most pleasing.
Place your furniture and other items to best fit your daily needs and actions. Personalize your space with things that invoke happy memories.
Use pillows and other soft materials to create a comfort zone. Our sense of touch has a powerful impact upon our feelings.
Bring the outdoors inside with shells, rocks, feathers, wood, leaves, and so on.
Take control of your surroundings, even when they are just a corner of a room or a desk at work. You can even use these steps when traveling to help you unwind. By creating your own personal oasis, you will be better able to relax and rejuvenate. A few changes may be all that you need to make yourself calm, peaceful, energized and inspired.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Worrying Less
Worry is such a loathsome thing. You know you'd be able to save more time and energy and achieve more without it, but sometimes it simply refuses to leave you alone.
Most of us will probably not be able to eradicate worry from our lives, but here are some ways you can worry less and accomplish more:
Don't think of problems as difficulties. think of them as opportunities for action.
After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go on to the next thing.
Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, sleep. Don't allow yourself time for your mind to wander.
There are things you cannot do anything about, so don't concern yourself with them.
Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now.
Don't pour woes and anxieties onto other people. Sympathy from others is very tempting and does feel good for a while, but eventually, it just makes you feel sorrier for yourself.
Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you would in actual accomplishment of the day's work.
Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry. Hurry shatters poise and self-confidence, and adds to fear and anxiety.
If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps like rungs on a ladder... one at a time. Don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one.
Worry is a very natural and spontaneous instinct, so don't be too hard on yourself if you fin yourself within its grip. Just make sure you take some measures you help you see things in a calmer, clearer and more productive way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Most of us will probably not be able to eradicate worry from our lives, but here are some ways you can worry less and accomplish more:
Don't think of problems as difficulties. think of them as opportunities for action.
After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go on to the next thing.
Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, sleep. Don't allow yourself time for your mind to wander.
There are things you cannot do anything about, so don't concern yourself with them.
Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now.
Don't pour woes and anxieties onto other people. Sympathy from others is very tempting and does feel good for a while, but eventually, it just makes you feel sorrier for yourself.
Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you would in actual accomplishment of the day's work.
Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry. Hurry shatters poise and self-confidence, and adds to fear and anxiety.
If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps like rungs on a ladder... one at a time. Don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one.
Worry is a very natural and spontaneous instinct, so don't be too hard on yourself if you fin yourself within its grip. Just make sure you take some measures you help you see things in a calmer, clearer and more productive way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Embracing Challenges
None of us can avoid challenges. It is one of the irrefutable truths that life doesn't stay rosy for long. Even for those of us who are blessed with lengthy periods of undisturbed bliss, there will come a time when summer sun must wane, the leaves will fall, and we must prepare to endure a period of cold and darkness.
Challenges are inevitable. Whenever life presents a challenge, do you ignore it? Or do you embrace it? If it is your practice to consistently ignore the challenges that come your way, you can be sure they will emerge again and again, and in more daunting forms.
Consider a case of financial difficulty, for example, which requires a period of belt-tightening and sacrifice. If you choose to ignore the challenge and continue to live on credit, you can be sure that you financial situation will only get worse. But what if you choose to embrace the challenge instead? Come up with a plan to reduce costs, change your habits and lifestyle, monetize one of your skills. You would not only survive the crisis in a stable financial position, you will probably have even more money than before! And because you have a sound financial security infrastructure in place, the next time a financial challenge comes along, you would be better placed to deal with it. This is growth. This is self-improvement.
What about the other challenges in life?
For example, if you fall sick easily or often feel weak and tired, think about what aspects of your lifestyle may be causing it. Could you get into a fitness routine, wean yourself off addictive substances and try to eat more healthy? The beginning will be tough, but all it takes is action and commitment, and believe me, the new you that will emerge from this will not believe why you didn't start sooner! You may have been convinced that your former life was what you needed, but once you let it go, whole new opportunities will open up for you. Once dull and tasteless things will give you new pleasures. You will feel better, be happier and more efficient.
Think of other aspects of your life you can change for the better. What about your fears? Fear of being alone, fear of letting your parents down, fear of switching careers, fear of failure, fear of expressing yourself, fear of putting yourself out there, fear of being the person you really are? How many times has life thrown challenges at you to help you get rid of those fears and you ignored them? How are those fears keeping you trapped in a place you really don't want to be?
Challenges help you grow. They nudge out your weaknesses and force you to turn them into strengths. When overcome, they give you that priceless sense of achievement and confidence; that increasing sense of self-value that will continue to help you attain more fulfillment and success in life.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Challenges are inevitable. Whenever life presents a challenge, do you ignore it? Or do you embrace it? If it is your practice to consistently ignore the challenges that come your way, you can be sure they will emerge again and again, and in more daunting forms.
Consider a case of financial difficulty, for example, which requires a period of belt-tightening and sacrifice. If you choose to ignore the challenge and continue to live on credit, you can be sure that you financial situation will only get worse. But what if you choose to embrace the challenge instead? Come up with a plan to reduce costs, change your habits and lifestyle, monetize one of your skills. You would not only survive the crisis in a stable financial position, you will probably have even more money than before! And because you have a sound financial security infrastructure in place, the next time a financial challenge comes along, you would be better placed to deal with it. This is growth. This is self-improvement.
What about the other challenges in life?
For example, if you fall sick easily or often feel weak and tired, think about what aspects of your lifestyle may be causing it. Could you get into a fitness routine, wean yourself off addictive substances and try to eat more healthy? The beginning will be tough, but all it takes is action and commitment, and believe me, the new you that will emerge from this will not believe why you didn't start sooner! You may have been convinced that your former life was what you needed, but once you let it go, whole new opportunities will open up for you. Once dull and tasteless things will give you new pleasures. You will feel better, be happier and more efficient.
Think of other aspects of your life you can change for the better. What about your fears? Fear of being alone, fear of letting your parents down, fear of switching careers, fear of failure, fear of expressing yourself, fear of putting yourself out there, fear of being the person you really are? How many times has life thrown challenges at you to help you get rid of those fears and you ignored them? How are those fears keeping you trapped in a place you really don't want to be?
Challenges help you grow. They nudge out your weaknesses and force you to turn them into strengths. When overcome, they give you that priceless sense of achievement and confidence; that increasing sense of self-value that will continue to help you attain more fulfillment and success in life.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
The Power to Walk Away
How do you deal with potentially explosive situations? Where tempers are beginning to flare, tensions are steadily escalating, and sufficient buttons have been pushed?
What happens with many people is that they remain in the situation, either hoping to talk things over calmly or to make their point emphatically clear. But this can only work if the other party is willing to collaborate. But sometimes, the other party can be willfully difficult. They can be persons who get off on pushing your hot buttons.
What happens then? A likely scenario is that like a fish to the bait, you continue to engage in the conversation, the other party continues to gall you, and *snap!*, the last straw breaks your back. At this point, when self-control is lost, you may utter threats, make scathing remarks, or throw potshots that you immediately regret.
In social setting, you may end up looking rash and petty. In a business or corporate setting, you may appear to be antagonistic and hot-tempered. In a personal context, you may end up really hurting a loved one. In the long term, angry outbursts will sour any relationship.
If you find yourself quite unintentionally getting yourself into potentially-explosive situations, how can you avoid actually exploding?
Well, you can walk away.
A seemingly simple thing to do, but something that can be extremely difficult to do in practice, especially when you feel you've been grossly misunderstood. You'd want to stake it out and explain yourself until the other person gets it, right?
That's what keeps you there. That's makes you reiterate your arguments again and again until they begin to sound meaningless. In these instances, you're at the losing end; it's simply more sensible to walk away.
Do you have the power to walk away from potentially-explosive situations? Are you able to postpone defending yourself to another more appropriate time? Can you conserve your cool and avoid saying or doing something you'll regret later?
Because when you care too much about winning in such situations, you lose. You're the one who feels the pressure, you're the one who seems antagonistic and defensive. It will be hard initially, but practice walking away and you'll understand just how powerful it can be in defusing explosive situations and even persuade others to see things your way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
What happens with many people is that they remain in the situation, either hoping to talk things over calmly or to make their point emphatically clear. But this can only work if the other party is willing to collaborate. But sometimes, the other party can be willfully difficult. They can be persons who get off on pushing your hot buttons.
What happens then? A likely scenario is that like a fish to the bait, you continue to engage in the conversation, the other party continues to gall you, and *snap!*, the last straw breaks your back. At this point, when self-control is lost, you may utter threats, make scathing remarks, or throw potshots that you immediately regret.
In social setting, you may end up looking rash and petty. In a business or corporate setting, you may appear to be antagonistic and hot-tempered. In a personal context, you may end up really hurting a loved one. In the long term, angry outbursts will sour any relationship.
If you find yourself quite unintentionally getting yourself into potentially-explosive situations, how can you avoid actually exploding?
Well, you can walk away.
A seemingly simple thing to do, but something that can be extremely difficult to do in practice, especially when you feel you've been grossly misunderstood. You'd want to stake it out and explain yourself until the other person gets it, right?
That's what keeps you there. That's makes you reiterate your arguments again and again until they begin to sound meaningless. In these instances, you're at the losing end; it's simply more sensible to walk away.
Do you have the power to walk away from potentially-explosive situations? Are you able to postpone defending yourself to another more appropriate time? Can you conserve your cool and avoid saying or doing something you'll regret later?
Because when you care too much about winning in such situations, you lose. You're the one who feels the pressure, you're the one who seems antagonistic and defensive. It will be hard initially, but practice walking away and you'll understand just how powerful it can be in defusing explosive situations and even persuade others to see things your way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Resolving Relationship Conflicts
What blocks you from resolving conflicts with your partner?
A lasting and rewarding relationship has to be open and honest. And to keep it that way, you have to be able to air grievances with your partner. Burying issues, and avoiding conflict and disagreements, do not have a place in a healthy relationship. You might as well accept the fact that you WILL get on each other's nerves. You will disagree from time to time. Learn how to argue in a constructive manner to resolve the issue at hand and not tear each other apart personally.
Here are some recommended steps for resolving conflict.
First of all, agree to reach a solution. Many of us either choose to attack our partner or run away from the argument, neither of which helps. Always remember that you and your partner are in the same team - both of you want what's best for the relationship. Sometimes, in the heat of argument, we forget that.
Also, explore your feelings. Why are you so upset? Examine your reaction to the event and see if you are responding to the present situation or reliving a past hurtful event. See if this issue is really about you and your partner or you and someone from your past.
Next, identify what you want. Speak up. See what you and your partner can work out for a mutually satisfying resolution. Your partner cannot give what you want if you don't have the courage to ask for it. Remember, you are in love with each other. You want to feel good, your partner wants to feel good, and you both have the same wish for each other. Keep that in mind as you express your desires.
And choose mutual action. A relationship is a partnership, a joint effort. If one person ends up being responsible for making the union work on every level, resentment will build up. Work out fair resolutions.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
A lasting and rewarding relationship has to be open and honest. And to keep it that way, you have to be able to air grievances with your partner. Burying issues, and avoiding conflict and disagreements, do not have a place in a healthy relationship. You might as well accept the fact that you WILL get on each other's nerves. You will disagree from time to time. Learn how to argue in a constructive manner to resolve the issue at hand and not tear each other apart personally.
Here are some recommended steps for resolving conflict.
First of all, agree to reach a solution. Many of us either choose to attack our partner or run away from the argument, neither of which helps. Always remember that you and your partner are in the same team - both of you want what's best for the relationship. Sometimes, in the heat of argument, we forget that.
Also, explore your feelings. Why are you so upset? Examine your reaction to the event and see if you are responding to the present situation or reliving a past hurtful event. See if this issue is really about you and your partner or you and someone from your past.
Next, identify what you want. Speak up. See what you and your partner can work out for a mutually satisfying resolution. Your partner cannot give what you want if you don't have the courage to ask for it. Remember, you are in love with each other. You want to feel good, your partner wants to feel good, and you both have the same wish for each other. Keep that in mind as you express your desires.
And choose mutual action. A relationship is a partnership, a joint effort. If one person ends up being responsible for making the union work on every level, resentment will build up. Work out fair resolutions.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Faith in Yourself
Looking at the people around you, you probably think that you're the only one who gets timid and unsure of yourself. But any time you feel your confidence shrivelling, you're not alone. Everyone feels fear and self-doubt, probably more often than you know but because you're not them, you don't feel or see it. You only feel your own fear so keenly because you're the one experiencing it.
In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It's the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That's why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.
Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and comform to strict rules or risk being punished.
Perhaps it's remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You're your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don't have to try to "fit in" anymore, and you don't need anyone's approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that's wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.
In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you're uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What's the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?
You'll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn't mean you won't succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It's the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That's why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.
Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and comform to strict rules or risk being punished.
Perhaps it's remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You're your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don't have to try to "fit in" anymore, and you don't need anyone's approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that's wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.
In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you're uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What's the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?
You'll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn't mean you won't succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Go With the Flow
Life is like a raging river. There is constant flow. In fact, agitation and movement are essential for life to endure. Stagnant waters breed disease and decay.
So when life decides to throw a rock at us, like when we lose a job or partner, don't lose heart. Don't negatively judge events or circumstances that initially seem "bad" or "unfortunate". Things don't happen by accident, and mistakes or misfortunes are simply precursors for positive change.
We can't control things like losing a job or losing a partner. Loss is essential for growth and survival. When we experience loss or some other stressful change in our lives, we can give in to negative feelings like anger, disappointment, self-pity, self-loathing, trepidation and fear. We can allow these emotions to strain our mind, effectively crippling its ability to discover viable solutions. We can imagine the worst, and let something that may not come to pass affect our present state of mind.
Or we can go with the flow of change. Some things in our lives have to go in order to make way for better things. The Universe has a way of nudging us along when we get too lazy, complacent or comfortable. Occasionally, it gives us a big shove. The Universe knows when stagnation is making us fat and feeble. It knows when something in our lives has to shift in order for us to continue growing. It then arranges for people and events to push us towards what we were meant to be.
Most people however, choose to resist or ignore the signs. They are so firmly embedded in the riverbed that they refuse to let the currents lift them away. The years go by, and along with them, a flood of lost opportunities? and the stubborn rocks are finally left buried under algae and dirt.
If you've recently lost your job, lost a partner or something you felt was valuable to you, think? Were you really happy with your job?
Did you put your dreams on hold because you were trapped in a wake up, go to work, go home, go to bed routine? Had you stopped growing in that job? Did nothing excite you anymore about your work? What about your ex-partner? Were you really good for each other? Or were you hanging on because you were afraid of being alone?
You didn't have the time nor the nerve to go out and do what you really wanted to do. Well, now you do!
Go with the flow of change!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Stress Relief at Work
Everyone acknowledges the existence and inevitablity of stress at the workplace, but how many of us really understand the extent of damage it's wreaking?
Even as we speak, millions around the world are on the verge of a breakdown due to work-related stress. And it's not just the workers themselves who take a beating. Some estimates put the loss of GDP due to stress in some developed nations at about 10%! Employees falling sick, employees fearful of going to work, employees not putting in their best effort, all these cripple productivity.
Managers have the duty to monitor stress levels in the workforce, identify the factors that cause stress, and take firm measures to reduce it. The top factors that increase stress at work include: poor working conditions (e.g. long hours, travel, noises, smells, work overload and work underload), a lack of clear role in the company (e.g. ill-defined expectations, conflicting priorities and responsibility for others), and poor relationships at work (e.g. low levels of trust and lack of support).
In order to reduce and prevent stress at work:
1. Employees should have genuine control over their work and be allowed an appropriate degree of self-management of workload.
2. Roles, responsibilities and expectations should be fully defined.
3. Employees should have a role in planning and decision making.
4. The physical workplace environment should be of a high standard, including natural light where possible, good ventilation, and good health and safety practices.
5. Employees should be actively discouraged from working excessively long hours.
Although there are many ways of relieving stress outside the office, only a few techniques are suitable for use in the workplace. One method that can be used in a work environment is aromatherapy. Many essential oils are recognised for their stress-relieving effects, and can help aid concentration and focus, and improve productivity and mood. Candles will most certainly be frowned upon by your Fire Safety Officer, but there are plenty of electric oil diffusers available that don't require burning.
Try oils like lavender, rosemary and orange, all of them known to reduce anxiety, depression and fatigue, and aid clarity, balance, relaxation and rejuvenation.
How else can you enhance your workplace to increase worker well-being and productivity?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Even as we speak, millions around the world are on the verge of a breakdown due to work-related stress. And it's not just the workers themselves who take a beating. Some estimates put the loss of GDP due to stress in some developed nations at about 10%! Employees falling sick, employees fearful of going to work, employees not putting in their best effort, all these cripple productivity.
Managers have the duty to monitor stress levels in the workforce, identify the factors that cause stress, and take firm measures to reduce it. The top factors that increase stress at work include: poor working conditions (e.g. long hours, travel, noises, smells, work overload and work underload), a lack of clear role in the company (e.g. ill-defined expectations, conflicting priorities and responsibility for others), and poor relationships at work (e.g. low levels of trust and lack of support).
In order to reduce and prevent stress at work:
1. Employees should have genuine control over their work and be allowed an appropriate degree of self-management of workload.
2. Roles, responsibilities and expectations should be fully defined.
3. Employees should have a role in planning and decision making.
4. The physical workplace environment should be of a high standard, including natural light where possible, good ventilation, and good health and safety practices.
5. Employees should be actively discouraged from working excessively long hours.
Although there are many ways of relieving stress outside the office, only a few techniques are suitable for use in the workplace. One method that can be used in a work environment is aromatherapy. Many essential oils are recognised for their stress-relieving effects, and can help aid concentration and focus, and improve productivity and mood. Candles will most certainly be frowned upon by your Fire Safety Officer, but there are plenty of electric oil diffusers available that don't require burning.
Try oils like lavender, rosemary and orange, all of them known to reduce anxiety, depression and fatigue, and aid clarity, balance, relaxation and rejuvenation.
How else can you enhance your workplace to increase worker well-being and productivity?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Helping A Stressed Loved One
Stress and depression can afflict anyone, and it can be especially tough to handle when it's our loved one who's suffering. When it seems all our words and deeds do nothing to assuage their misert, we ourselves can feel helpless and desperate.
If you're living with a loved one who's under severe stress of suffering from depression, remember that recovery is a journey, it's a work in progress, so if improvement does not seem apparent, don't be disappointed. No matter how useless you may be feeling, your loved one appreciates your support and listening ear.
Every comforting or encouraging word is helpful, but however frustrated you feel, never say to a depressed or stressed person: "Come on, snap out of it! What have you got to be worried or sad about anyway? People have it much worse than you!"
Understand that these words are easy enough for you to say, but for a stressed or depressed person, they can seem as though you're trivializing their condition, making them seem weak for not being able to "snap out" of such a petty state. Severe stress and chronic depression are illnesses. You wouldn't tell someone with high blood pressure or pneumonia to "snap out" of their condition, would you?
Also, try as much as possible not to impose advice or your own analysis or knowledge of the problem onto your loved one. Your suggestions may be in the best interest, but to the sufferer, it can sound confrontational. This may put him or her under pressure. all they'll do is dismiss your comments and clam up whenever you're around as they'll feel they're being scrutinized.
A better way is to challenge them very gently by reminding them of a time when they did something good. For example, when you hear your loved one say: "I'm useless, I never get anything right.", you can say "Sure you do, hey, remember the time when you did this...?"
Finally, you may find a resource - a book, a video, or supplement that you think will help someone to beat their illness. But you must resist the urge to directly give them these resources. For someone to emerge from these illnesses, they have to make the decision themselves. A direct offer will more often than not be refused. So, if you find something you think will help, leave it lying around somewhere your loved on will find it. Such an indirect approach is more effective because once again, there is no pressure, no reminder, no confrontation, It is the sufferer who takes a willing first step towards recovery.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
If you're living with a loved one who's under severe stress of suffering from depression, remember that recovery is a journey, it's a work in progress, so if improvement does not seem apparent, don't be disappointed. No matter how useless you may be feeling, your loved one appreciates your support and listening ear.
Every comforting or encouraging word is helpful, but however frustrated you feel, never say to a depressed or stressed person: "Come on, snap out of it! What have you got to be worried or sad about anyway? People have it much worse than you!"
Understand that these words are easy enough for you to say, but for a stressed or depressed person, they can seem as though you're trivializing their condition, making them seem weak for not being able to "snap out" of such a petty state. Severe stress and chronic depression are illnesses. You wouldn't tell someone with high blood pressure or pneumonia to "snap out" of their condition, would you?
Also, try as much as possible not to impose advice or your own analysis or knowledge of the problem onto your loved one. Your suggestions may be in the best interest, but to the sufferer, it can sound confrontational. This may put him or her under pressure. all they'll do is dismiss your comments and clam up whenever you're around as they'll feel they're being scrutinized.
A better way is to challenge them very gently by reminding them of a time when they did something good. For example, when you hear your loved one say: "I'm useless, I never get anything right.", you can say "Sure you do, hey, remember the time when you did this...?"
Finally, you may find a resource - a book, a video, or supplement that you think will help someone to beat their illness. But you must resist the urge to directly give them these resources. For someone to emerge from these illnesses, they have to make the decision themselves. A direct offer will more often than not be refused. So, if you find something you think will help, leave it lying around somewhere your loved on will find it. Such an indirect approach is more effective because once again, there is no pressure, no reminder, no confrontation, It is the sufferer who takes a willing first step towards recovery.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Enjoy the Coffee
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups made of Porcelain, Plastic, Glass, Crystal, some ordinary looking, some expensive, some exquisite.
He told them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor said.
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap looking ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and worse, you were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, but the quality of life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So folks, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups made of Porcelain, Plastic, Glass, Crystal, some ordinary looking, some expensive, some exquisite.
He told them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in their hands, the professor said.
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap looking ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and worse, you were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, but the quality of life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So folks, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Focus On Creation, Not Competition
As you probably know by now, Singapore was ranked poorly in the recent Happiness Index. One often-mentioned reason was our highly-competitive society. Here, we're taught (sometimes implicitly) to be the best, to make our parents proud, to get the best grades, to make more money, to be among the first in the queue, to jostle for seats on the MRT, to get maximum value at the buffet table. It's no coincidence that the Hokkien term for the fear of losing has become a love-hate expression to describe Singaporeans.
Competition is so pervasive here that it's become as natural as the air we breathe. We don't even think about why we do it, we just do. Certainly it has its roots in the early survival of the human species - this "need to win" ensured we got the food, secured the best territory, produced offspring with the most able-bodied mates, and so on, but in the modern context, could excessive competition be snuffing out our joy?
I'm not saying that competition is bad - it certainly spurs us on to do better for ourselves - but this "need to win" to feel better about ourselves can backfire for some of us. I mean, it's all rosy when we do win, but what happens when we don't? Being transfixed on victory can turn us into very sore losers.
Many of us have allowed this "need to win" to be the determinant of our happiness. So it's not surprising why so many of us are unhappy; we can't win all the time, and when we don't get the best or the most, we become discontented.
The key to regaining control of your happiness is to change your focus - from competition to creation. Competition is centred on other people - other people's possessions, other people's achievements, other people's happiness or good fortune. This causes envy and the desire to obtain the same or better, if only for the reason that "they have it".
This kind of thinking ignores what we truly want for ourselves, for our lives, for our loved ones. We're buying into the collective belief that just because it's desired by most people that it must be good for us.
Creation, on the other hand, is about using your talents to produce things of value to society. Creation does not look at other members of society as benchmarks; it focuses on what we personally can achieve with what we have. Creation is about reaching inside to create abundance. This kind of spiritual abundance, not material abundance, is what brings about lasting joy.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Cheering Yourself Up (Part 2)
We continue to explore how can you cheer yourself up when you're feeling down.
Force yourself to smile and laugh. Smiling tricks your mind into thinking you're happy. Probable result? A more light-hearted you. And laughing instantly makes you feel a whole lot better because you take in lots of oxygen and that revitalises your blood cells. so share a funny anecdote with a family member, friend or colleague. Laugh heartily!
Make something. The process of creation takes your mind off your worries, and you get a sense of satisfaction when the product finally emerges. Write a poem, paint a picture, make a mural in your bedroom, or plant a garden.
Keep a list of things you can appreciate; things that you normally take for granted. A loving family, good health, the sight of verdant trees in the park, friendly colleagues, peace, or a satisfying meal. If you try to identify the blessings in your life, you'll find the list endless.
Start a project. Redecorate your room, learn a language, polish your car, take music lessons, go for a film appreciation course, anything! But it's crucial that you stick with your project till the end. People don't fail. They give up. So follow it through and your self-esteem will receive a much-needed boost.
Go through your address book and meet up with your old friends. It's so easy to get caught up with work and family and neglect the people with whom you have an intellectual or emotional connection. Connect with them again. Go for a movie together and analyse its many layers. Invite your friend over, ask him to bring his favorite CDs for the moment, listen to music and talk. share a pizza and catch up.
And, finally, perhaps the most scientifically-proven method for lifting your spirits... physical exercise! Go for a run! Sweat out all your worries! Forget about your problems for a while, and you'll be amazed at how much clearer things will be when you finish your run.
At the end of it all... choose to be happy. There are plenty of things to be sad or sorry about in life, but you know, there are many things to rejoice about as well. Perhaps a shift in focus is all you need.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Force yourself to smile and laugh. Smiling tricks your mind into thinking you're happy. Probable result? A more light-hearted you. And laughing instantly makes you feel a whole lot better because you take in lots of oxygen and that revitalises your blood cells. so share a funny anecdote with a family member, friend or colleague. Laugh heartily!
Make something. The process of creation takes your mind off your worries, and you get a sense of satisfaction when the product finally emerges. Write a poem, paint a picture, make a mural in your bedroom, or plant a garden.
Keep a list of things you can appreciate; things that you normally take for granted. A loving family, good health, the sight of verdant trees in the park, friendly colleagues, peace, or a satisfying meal. If you try to identify the blessings in your life, you'll find the list endless.
Start a project. Redecorate your room, learn a language, polish your car, take music lessons, go for a film appreciation course, anything! But it's crucial that you stick with your project till the end. People don't fail. They give up. So follow it through and your self-esteem will receive a much-needed boost.
Go through your address book and meet up with your old friends. It's so easy to get caught up with work and family and neglect the people with whom you have an intellectual or emotional connection. Connect with them again. Go for a movie together and analyse its many layers. Invite your friend over, ask him to bring his favorite CDs for the moment, listen to music and talk. share a pizza and catch up.
And, finally, perhaps the most scientifically-proven method for lifting your spirits... physical exercise! Go for a run! Sweat out all your worries! Forget about your problems for a while, and you'll be amazed at how much clearer things will be when you finish your run.
At the end of it all... choose to be happy. There are plenty of things to be sad or sorry about in life, but you know, there are many things to rejoice about as well. Perhaps a shift in focus is all you need.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Cheering Yourself Up
When you're feeling down, it's great to have a partner or a friend who will try almost anything to make you smile. But most of the time, the only person we can count on is ourselves. So here are some ways you can cheer yourself up!One of the simplest ways to pick yourself up when you're down is to dance! Make a compilation of mood-elevating songs that you can put on whenever you feel blue. Gives the term "elevator music" a whole new meaning, don't you think?
Or, spend time with children. When the world becomes too complicated to handle, kids so effortlessly help us to make things seem so much simpler. I remember visiting a friend recently. I didn't get enough sleep the night before and was actually quite grouchy when I arrived. But after a few minutes of trying to converse with my friend's two-year-old son. I was right as rain. Words didn't matter. He giggled, I babbled like a complete idiot, he jumped up and down, and I made silly faces. It was a blast.
Another great way to take your mind off your troubles is to indulge yourself. Forget about cost or responsibility for a while, and just do what you love. Buy the special edition DVD of one of your favourite films and watch it plus all the bonus features at one sitting. Go for a massage. Have a dark and rich chocolate cake. Buy your own cue and go shoot some pool.
I don't know about you, but clearing clutter alleviates stress for me. I know some people actually find comfort in disorder but if you're not like that, take a day off to go through your stuff and get rid of what you don't need. Emphasise space and delete waste. Physical baggage can be just as frustrating as emotional baggage.
Identify the things you've been procrastinating about and take action. Few things are more liberating than checking off your "To Do" list. Just ask the Bride in the movie "Kill Bill". Just kidding.
And speaking about kidding, have more fun! At work, at home, anywhere! Lighten up! Don't care what others think of you. Be corny, flippant, and outrageous. Get out of your shell and have a party!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Stress Relief at Work
Everyone acknowledges the existence and inevitability of stress at the workplace, but how many of us really understand the extent of damage it's wreaking?
Even as we speak, millions around the world are on the verge of a breakdown due to work-related stress. And it's not just the workers themselves who take a beating. Some estimates put the loss of GDP due to stress in some developed nations at about 10%! Employees falling sick, employees fearful of going to work, employees not putting in their best effort, all these cripple productivity.
Managers have the duty to monitor stress levels in the workforce, identify the factors that cause stress, and take firm measures to reduce it. The top factors that increase stress at work include: poor working conditions (e.g. long hours, travel, noises, smells, work overload and work underload), a lack of a clear role in the company (e.g. ill-defined expectations, conflicting priorities and responsibility for others), and poor relationships at work (e.g. low levels of trust and lack of support).
In order to reduce and prevent stress at work:
1. Employees should have genuine control over their work and be allowed an appropriate degree of self-management of workload.
2. Roles, responsibilities and expectations should be fully defined.
3. Employees should have a role in planning and decision making.
4. The physical workplace environment should be of a high standard, including natural light where possible, good ventilation, and good health and safety practices.
5. Employees should be actively discouraged from working excessively long hours.
Although there are many ways of relieving stress outside the office, only a few techniques are suitable for use in the workplace. One method that can be used in a work environment is aromatherapy. Many essential oils are recognised for their stress-relieving effects, and can help aid concentration and focus, and improve productivity and mood. Candles will most certainly be frowned upon by your Fire Safety Officer, but there are plenty of electric oil diffusers available that don't require any burning.
Try oils like lavender, rosemary and orange, all of them known to reduce anxiety, depression and fatigue, and aid clarity, balance, relaxation and rejuvenation.
How else can you enhance your workplace to increase worker well-being and productivity?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Getting Out of Our Comfort Zones
Most of us love being in our comfort zones. It is so called precisely because within it, there is little or no pressure and we need only expend minimum effort in order to get by in life. But our comfort zones should only be spaces for temporary rest, because as long as we remain within them, we cannot grow.
You need only look around you to see what happens when people try to get through life by doing the least amount of work - they become complacent and lazy, their minds begin to dull, and every minor setback is like a catastrophe in their eyes.
Nature also presents abundant evidence why how getting out of our comfort zones helps us grow, and move through the stages of life. Our mother's womb was our very first comfort zone. We spent nine months depending purely on a single cord for sustenance. It was safe, it was warm, and we didn't have to lift a finger to be nourished. But how long could our mothers' belly hold us? In order for life to continue, we had to get out of the womb. As you know, the process of birth is often a painful experience, both for mother and child. We emerge crying for our lost utopia, our first breaths painful and difficult. Yet, without this event, our lives would've ended at nine months.
Think about each milestone or accomplishment in your life. Was it easy? Hopefully not, because it was, that means the achievement probably meant nothing to you, and you were not made better and stronger through it. No, your victories probably came only after much hard work and leaps of faith into the unknown.
Baby turtles instinctively struggle to get to the ocean after hatching from their shells. To them, the waters are untested territory, yet they never fail to make their way to them. They're wired to know that remaining where they are means certain death.
It's the same for us. If we stay in our comfort zones, we risk becoming weak, aimless and irrelevant. The only way to enrich our lives and continue growing is to keep pushing through the skins of our comfort zones. And this pushing continues into our later years. How many people have retired only to find themselves listless and bored with living after the first year or so? That's because they've stopped challenging themselves. Their minds gradually grind to a near halt.
Getting out of our comfort zones is hard work, but Nature proves to us how essential it is for life and development!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Getting Out of Bad Moods
If bad moods and bad days are getting you down, it's time for some serious stress-busting. We all need to do this every once in a while; ideally, as often as we can. Here are some tips to get you smiling again.
We are often the company we keep, so take a close look at the people you tend to surround yourself with. Are they sucking the lifeforce out of you? Don't feel obliged to accommodate them; in fact, by entertaining their whims, you're really making them weak and dependent. So get rid of the emotional vampires in your life.
Next, change your posture. We often don't notice this, but the way we carry ourselves has a big influence on how we feel. When we speak timidly, slouch, shuffle our feet and so on, we're cramping our spirit. This also sends a non-verbal cue to others that you're unhappy and lifeless. So take bigger steps, walk faster, stand taller, speak with more confidence. Let your spirit fly!
Watch what you say. Words exert a tremendous influence on our mood, and if you're consistently using words like "I'll try", "It's tough", "I'm tired", "but" and so on, you're programming yourself for failure. Instead, try using more phrases like "I can", "No problem", "I'm great"! Go upbeat!
Focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want. It's awful the wave of "don't"s we have to deal with everyday - "Don't be late", "don't make a mistake", "don't miss the deadline", "don't forget". But I'm sure you realize that the more we focus on what we're not supposed to do, we're more likely to do it. Like this classic example - don't think of a pink elephant. So, shift your focus to what you want - "I want to be energetic", "I want to do well", "I'll do a great job".
Remember, anyone can feel better instantly; you just have to do it! Stop vexing yourself! Unhappy people dwell on their problems and make up excuses why things can't improve. Happy, optimistic people focus on what's good, the solutions; they are constantly looking forward to the next moment. Go upbeat!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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