Worry has a terrible reputation. It's often blamed for disrupting our peace of mind and robbing us of our happiness. But most of the time, worry gets an unfair bum rap.
After all, if worry didn't set off alarm bells every once in a while, we'd be waltzing blindly into dangerous situations.
Worry is an instinctive self-defense mechanism. It exists to help us avoid trouble. Unfortunately, for many of us, we simply allow worry to cripple us. We allow it to grow into an irrational fear without taking positive action. That's when worry becomes harmful - when we allow it to paralyse us; when we do nothing to counter the damaging stress hormones it produces.
The first step towards eliminating irrational worry is simply to do something! Instead of just sitting around fretting, get up and do something about it. You may not be able to solve the problem right away but by doing something, you're forcing your mind to take its focus off the problem and concentrate on something else. Besides giving you some reprieve, this also releases pent-up energy and exposes you to external stimuli that may trigger ideas for a resolution. So hit the gym, spring clean your room, do the laundry, go for a walk, whatever, just do something.
Next, evaluate what's bothering you from a rational, logical standpoint. If this was something to a friend, what would you tell him or her? Write the challenge down and list the possible solutions. There is often plenty you can do to alleviate the problem, even if you can't resolve it immediately.
Very often, doing nothing is what causes the worry to deepen - the wavering between "Yes" and "No". So examine your options and make a decision. Remember, not making a choice is also a choice and often the worst one of all. So make a decision and move on. We all make mistakes but the important thing is to learn from our mistake and move on as better people.
Whether it's a person, thing or even that's fuelling your worry, confront it head on. Very often, our worries are just products of our imagination and confronting the challenge in question will make sure the ghosts are exorcised once and for all.
So make that phone call, meet that person, do what you fear now.
When we're stressed, our body produces a destructive hormone called cortisol. If not regularly manages, cortisol can lead to several major illnesses. So if something is bothering you, breath! Take a deep breath and relax. Take a warm shower, mediate, listen to soothing music, go for a slow walk, read a feelgood book.
So the next time worry's got you in spin, don't let it push you around. Take charge and take action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Decision Making. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decision Making. Show all posts
Trusting Your Instinct
Many decisions in life are not clear-cut. Even with adequate information on hand, there may not be an obviously superior option.
During these times, all we can rely on is our instinct. Most of us though, tend to suppress our instinct as we grow older. Life has perhaps discourages spontaneity and risk-taking in favour of caution and pre-meditation. A prudent safety measure I guess, but have we perhaps become too "safe"?
Professional athletes, musicians, actors, dancers and others in non-academic fields often have keenly-honed instincts. They have learnt to trust and depend on their spontaneity to perform at their best. The rest of us though, have very under-developed instincts because we hardly use them.
A finely-tuned instinct though is very important as, very often in Life, things are not cut-and dried. Information, logic and reason can only take us so far, but there comes a point when they can guide us no more. That is when our gut feel comes into play.
You have probably felt the power of your instinct when meeting someone for the first time, or when having to make a last-minute decision.... often situations in which there is no or limited information available to you. You will discover that as you allow your natural instinct back into your consciousness, you will become more effective as a person, a worker, and a leader. You will be less likely to be caught into limbo. You will be seen as more decisive and more sincere.
To develop your instinct, you have to become more self-aware. Stop ignoring and suppressing your feelings. Embrace them instead. Experiment with your instinct in making small, everyday choices. Stop over-thinking your decisions.
Learn to listen to yourself more attentively. Tune your consciousness to more clearly hear your inner voice. IN your daily interactions with the world, ask yourself "What am I feeling now?", "How do I really feel about this?"
Experts and researchers have estimated that 90% of critical decisions are based on your intuition.
Trust and develop your instinct and it will serve you well.
During these times, all we can rely on is our instinct. Most of us though, tend to suppress our instinct as we grow older. Life has perhaps discourages spontaneity and risk-taking in favour of caution and pre-meditation. A prudent safety measure I guess, but have we perhaps become too "safe"?
Professional athletes, musicians, actors, dancers and others in non-academic fields often have keenly-honed instincts. They have learnt to trust and depend on their spontaneity to perform at their best. The rest of us though, have very under-developed instincts because we hardly use them.
A finely-tuned instinct though is very important as, very often in Life, things are not cut-and dried. Information, logic and reason can only take us so far, but there comes a point when they can guide us no more. That is when our gut feel comes into play.
You have probably felt the power of your instinct when meeting someone for the first time, or when having to make a last-minute decision.... often situations in which there is no or limited information available to you. You will discover that as you allow your natural instinct back into your consciousness, you will become more effective as a person, a worker, and a leader. You will be less likely to be caught into limbo. You will be seen as more decisive and more sincere.
To develop your instinct, you have to become more self-aware. Stop ignoring and suppressing your feelings. Embrace them instead. Experiment with your instinct in making small, everyday choices. Stop over-thinking your decisions.
Learn to listen to yourself more attentively. Tune your consciousness to more clearly hear your inner voice. IN your daily interactions with the world, ask yourself "What am I feeling now?", "How do I really feel about this?"
Experts and researchers have estimated that 90% of critical decisions are based on your intuition.
Trust and develop your instinct and it will serve you well.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
More Choice, More Stress?
Hundreds of TV channels. Millions of YouTube videos. Hundreds of thousands of iPhone apps. Not to mention a giddy range of mobile phones, digicams, and other consumer goods at the ever-increasing number of super duper mega malls.
We live in an era of unprecedented freedom and choice. And most people would say that having more options is a good thing. But is it really? Does it really improve the quality of our lives? Or are our lives becoming increasingly complex because of the overload of choices? What about discontentment? Are we demanding more, appreciating less, and always seeking the best such that we think that our present lot is never good enough?
Freedom of choice can be a good thing, but we are slowly discovering that it has a limit. There is a point at which it becomes a burden. Excessive choice can set you up to have expectations too high for satisfaction. Is this also happening in our relationships? Can no one live up to our expectations because we are looking for the elusive "ideal" mate?
As the number of choices keep growing, there is an increase in stress, decision-making dilemmas, anxiety, fears and disappointments. The more we have, the more we want, the more that's available, the more we crave.
Now this might sound regressive, but what if we consider embracing certain constraints on our freedom of choice instead of rebelling against all of them? Like with making music, having certain structures and rules helps us to create harmony. Maintaining some discipline in our lives, for example, can help us achieve more success and health.
What about appreciating what we already have instead of hankering after what we don't? Human nature is such that we tend to get used to and get bored with what we have, leading us to want more and more and to seek greater and higher thrills. So try embracing and appreciating the finer points of what is already "good enough" in your life.
Many of us are also too preoccupied with what others are doing - what they are buying, who they are dating, how they seem to be happier than us and so on. This only makes us more frustrated with our own lives. So what if we paid less attention to others and started focusing more on our own lives and what we can do to improve them?
So if more choice is bringing you more confusion, try simplifying your life. Take a closer look at what you already have in your life. Aren't there positive aspects of them you have perhaps neglected? How can you love them more?
We live in an era of unprecedented freedom and choice. And most people would say that having more options is a good thing. But is it really? Does it really improve the quality of our lives? Or are our lives becoming increasingly complex because of the overload of choices? What about discontentment? Are we demanding more, appreciating less, and always seeking the best such that we think that our present lot is never good enough?
Freedom of choice can be a good thing, but we are slowly discovering that it has a limit. There is a point at which it becomes a burden. Excessive choice can set you up to have expectations too high for satisfaction. Is this also happening in our relationships? Can no one live up to our expectations because we are looking for the elusive "ideal" mate?
As the number of choices keep growing, there is an increase in stress, decision-making dilemmas, anxiety, fears and disappointments. The more we have, the more we want, the more that's available, the more we crave.
Now this might sound regressive, but what if we consider embracing certain constraints on our freedom of choice instead of rebelling against all of them? Like with making music, having certain structures and rules helps us to create harmony. Maintaining some discipline in our lives, for example, can help us achieve more success and health.
What about appreciating what we already have instead of hankering after what we don't? Human nature is such that we tend to get used to and get bored with what we have, leading us to want more and more and to seek greater and higher thrills. So try embracing and appreciating the finer points of what is already "good enough" in your life.
Many of us are also too preoccupied with what others are doing - what they are buying, who they are dating, how they seem to be happier than us and so on. This only makes us more frustrated with our own lives. So what if we paid less attention to others and started focusing more on our own lives and what we can do to improve them?
So if more choice is bringing you more confusion, try simplifying your life. Take a closer look at what you already have in your life. Aren't there positive aspects of them you have perhaps neglected? How can you love them more?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
End Procrastination
Don't under-estimate the power of putting things off.
Procrastination is a timebomb. It's a snowball that will eventually turn into an avalanche.
It all seems fairly harmless - "I'll start my exercise routine tomorrow", "I'll work on that project next week", "I'll get my health insurance next month", "I'll back-up my data later". But it soon becomes a habit, a lazy attitude towards improving your life.
Before you know it, you've become unfit and unhealthy, with several big deadlines looming, you're saddled with an illness which requires expensive treatment, and your computer with all your important work has crashed.
Make no mistake, procrastination is disease that will eat into your life, dampening your ambition and desire for success.
End procrastination today with these simple steps...
First of all, the all-too-obvious but most crucial tip - do it now! In order to break the habit of procrastination, replace it with an attitude of urgency. Practising working on whatever comes your way; prioritise your tasks of course, but keep ticking off your To-Do checklist one by one. Make steady progress. I promise you the sense of achievement and freedom that comes from completing your tasks will be so addictive, you won't be able to stop.
Try it today - whatever comes your way, a project, an email, an errand, a customer request, consider whether it's important or not, then work on them, one by one. You'll become more efficient in no time, not to mention you'll be relieved at the amount of work you got done. All this efficiency I'm sure will not go unnoticed by your supervisors and colleagues!
When attempting to end procrastination, it also helps to break down the bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable jobs. Don't let big projects overwhelm you; take it one step at a time. As long as you're making steady progress, you shouldn't be worried.
And ask for help! You know sometimes we make the mistake of assuming we have to do everything ourselves. Your reasons may be to save money, to be self-reliant, to make sure everything goes your way and so on, but contracting some work out could actually make more sense in the long term. Or get friends or family members to help out!
End procrastination today!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Procrastination is a timebomb. It's a snowball that will eventually turn into an avalanche.
It all seems fairly harmless - "I'll start my exercise routine tomorrow", "I'll work on that project next week", "I'll get my health insurance next month", "I'll back-up my data later". But it soon becomes a habit, a lazy attitude towards improving your life.
Before you know it, you've become unfit and unhealthy, with several big deadlines looming, you're saddled with an illness which requires expensive treatment, and your computer with all your important work has crashed.
Make no mistake, procrastination is disease that will eat into your life, dampening your ambition and desire for success.
End procrastination today with these simple steps...
First of all, the all-too-obvious but most crucial tip - do it now! In order to break the habit of procrastination, replace it with an attitude of urgency. Practising working on whatever comes your way; prioritise your tasks of course, but keep ticking off your To-Do checklist one by one. Make steady progress. I promise you the sense of achievement and freedom that comes from completing your tasks will be so addictive, you won't be able to stop.
Try it today - whatever comes your way, a project, an email, an errand, a customer request, consider whether it's important or not, then work on them, one by one. You'll become more efficient in no time, not to mention you'll be relieved at the amount of work you got done. All this efficiency I'm sure will not go unnoticed by your supervisors and colleagues!
When attempting to end procrastination, it also helps to break down the bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable jobs. Don't let big projects overwhelm you; take it one step at a time. As long as you're making steady progress, you shouldn't be worried.
And ask for help! You know sometimes we make the mistake of assuming we have to do everything ourselves. Your reasons may be to save money, to be self-reliant, to make sure everything goes your way and so on, but contracting some work out could actually make more sense in the long term. Or get friends or family members to help out!
End procrastination today!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Act On Your Intentions
Do you often find yourself procrastinating when it comes to acting on your intentions?
You may have great ideas but you find it difficult to take concrete steps towards making them reality. The days go by and you don't seem any closer to your goals.
Well, having the right intentions is just not good enough. You'll never be able to achieve deep satisfaction or fulfillment if you don't align your motivations with concrete action.
Before you can back up your intentions with action, the first thing to do is to examine the intention. Do you absolutely want to carry it out and are you excited about doing so?
The first step towards turning your plans into reality is to be very clear about your intention and the results you want. One way to do this is to get into the details. Say you feel you need more money top improve your lifestyle. Think about why you need the money. How will it make your life better? Will it give you the power to help your loved ones? Give your parents an expensive holiday every year perhaps? Or will the extra money help you invest in your own home? Hwy is that important?
Make a binding promise to yourself to get things moving the soonest possible. Even if the first few steps seem insignificant, do them anyway! You'll immediately start feeling more empowered and focused on your ideals. If you wait until everything is fully planned out, you'll never start!
Break down your action plan into easy to manage steps, in order to keep your spirits up and the momentum going. And don't make the mistake of thinking that you have to do this alone. Your family, friends, or partner are more than willing to help you. Ask them to keep you focused and disciplined.
Remember this - the strength of your intention is only as good as the action you're prepared to take on a regular basis. Every intention is preceded by a thought. Your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions can prompt you to take the appropriate action. Provided you use them right.
Attain excellence by using your spontaneity, intuition and your natural drive to move forward. Keep your life in flow by having a sense of clear purpose and aliveness.
Invest the time in YOU. Get to know what excites you, what ignites your soul and makes you come alive. When you are in alignment with your true self, your intentions will naturally begin to align themselves with life of pulsation and dynamic action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
You may have great ideas but you find it difficult to take concrete steps towards making them reality. The days go by and you don't seem any closer to your goals.
Well, having the right intentions is just not good enough. You'll never be able to achieve deep satisfaction or fulfillment if you don't align your motivations with concrete action.
Before you can back up your intentions with action, the first thing to do is to examine the intention. Do you absolutely want to carry it out and are you excited about doing so?
The first step towards turning your plans into reality is to be very clear about your intention and the results you want. One way to do this is to get into the details. Say you feel you need more money top improve your lifestyle. Think about why you need the money. How will it make your life better? Will it give you the power to help your loved ones? Give your parents an expensive holiday every year perhaps? Or will the extra money help you invest in your own home? Hwy is that important?
Make a binding promise to yourself to get things moving the soonest possible. Even if the first few steps seem insignificant, do them anyway! You'll immediately start feeling more empowered and focused on your ideals. If you wait until everything is fully planned out, you'll never start!
Break down your action plan into easy to manage steps, in order to keep your spirits up and the momentum going. And don't make the mistake of thinking that you have to do this alone. Your family, friends, or partner are more than willing to help you. Ask them to keep you focused and disciplined.
Remember this - the strength of your intention is only as good as the action you're prepared to take on a regular basis. Every intention is preceded by a thought. Your thoughts create your emotions and your emotions can prompt you to take the appropriate action. Provided you use them right.
Attain excellence by using your spontaneity, intuition and your natural drive to move forward. Keep your life in flow by having a sense of clear purpose and aliveness.
Invest the time in YOU. Get to know what excites you, what ignites your soul and makes you come alive. When you are in alignment with your true self, your intentions will naturally begin to align themselves with life of pulsation and dynamic action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Guilt From Unhealthy Self-Judgement
When we do something that harms someone, we experience a feeling called guilt. This kind of guilt is important to have because it keeps us in check. Otherwise we'd all think nothing of hurting others.
However, the kind of guilt many people experience is of a different and much less positive kind. In fact, you can say it has no rewards at all. This is the kind of guilt that you feel when you have actually done nothing wrong but because of certain born or bred mindsets, you're judging yourself to have been a bad person.
For example, some people feel responsible for all the happiness and unhappiness of their family members. A family member may be feeling needy and is increasingly seeking and wanting more of your assurances and help and time. Now of course you should help your family members but if you feel a deep sense of guilt every time you "weren't there" for example, or said something that appeared to hurt the other person, then you are falsely judging yourself.
You are not wholly responsible for your loved one's state of mind or happiness, although you can play a part. If a loved one becomes testy whenever you aren't able to fulfill a task he or she expected you to do, then you have become a crutch for them. For example, they aren't able to do simple things like calling a service provider or going to the doctor for a minor flu on their own.
When you make yourself wholly responsible for a loved one's happiness and feel guilty whenever you miss the mark, you're also teaching your loved one to be dependent. When this happens, the sense of betrayal just gets stronger and stronger each time you're not able to deliver. Needless to say, this only strains the relationship in the long run.
Now you know that you're not doing anything wrong, or directly damaging, yet you continue to judge yourself whenever others around you get upset. On some level you believe that by accommodating people all the time, you will get their love and acceptance. But it's doesn't work that way. Building up false expectations only builds disappointment and resentment. Remember, you cannot control others' feelings and behaviour by doing things "right". You shouldn't judge yourself whenever you're unable to do things "right". Fully accept that you can't be wholly responsible for another person's feelings and release the self-judgement and guilt.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Yes or No?
We're always making choices. How we will use our time, how we're going to get to our destination, what we're going to have for lunch, what colours should be used for our logo, what proposal should be dumped and which one should be taken up. Every step that we take presents us with an option of "Yes" or "No".
All these decisions, or in the case of some of us, in-decision, affects our happiness. How consciously do we make our choices? What happens when we can't make a definite "Yes" or "No" is that we become stuck in the wilderness of "Maybe" land. When we spend too much time in this place, we allow others to decide how our lives should be led. Here we have no hope for fulfillment because when things go well, we can't take the credit. And when things go awry, we blame ourselves for trusting the judgement of another.
Imagine that your partner or friend prefers to watch a particular movie and you'd really like to see another but you don't say anything. You give your partner or friend a weak "maybe", "it doesn't matter" or a reluctant "oh ok?" Later, you feel resentful and angry because this always seems to happen and you "never get to see the movie that you want to see."
Sometimes we justify this by believing that we don't assert ourselves because we are easy-going or generous. If this is the case, then why do we subsequently feel lousy and on the losing end?
Now, asserting yourself doesn't mean being demanding or unreasonable. By all means, empower yourself by expressing your feelings clearly, but be ready to negotiate or occasionally give in or come to a compromise. The important thing is simply to make your feelings known. Hiding behind a mask of indifference creates a lot of inner tension which may explode in the future.
It's very important to empower yourself to make conscious choices to create the relationships and life that you want. A lot of people feel anger and resentment toward others but what they're actually feeling is resentment towards themselves for not having the courage to go for what they really want.
Whenever you're faced with a decision, take the time to go within yourself and ask yourself what you really want. Is it true that it doesn't matter? Is it something you can take lightly? Or something you feel strongly about? When you evaluate your options consciously and express your feelings clearly, you'll feel more empowered, and as a result, move confidently toward creating the kind of relationships and life that you want.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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