Faith in Yourself

Looking at the people around you, you probably think that you're the only one who gets timid and unsure of yourself. But any time you feel your confidence shrivelling, you're not alone. Everyone feels fear and self-doubt, probably more often than you know but because you're not them, you don't feel or see it. You only feel your own fear so keenly because you're the one experiencing it.

In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It's the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That's why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.

Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and comform to strict rules or risk being punished.

Perhaps it's remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You're your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don't have to try to "fit in" anymore, and you don't need anyone's approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that's wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.

In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you're uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What's the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?

You'll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn't mean you won't succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd