Living An Abundant Life

During the Lunar New Year period, abundance is something that is often mentioned. For the Chinese, this usually refers to prosperity or financial wealth, or having that one's heart desires.

Abundance though, may not always be so narrowly defined. If we can understand the broader concept of abundance, and learn to incorporate it into our daily lives, we can all live with greater happiness and empowerment.

Think about the abundance that we all are surrounded by... everyday. Nature is one of life's greatest and most lavish gifts. do we take the time to regularly appreciate its presence? In Nature is all that we need to be healthy and happy... its spirit touches the very core of our bodies and our humanity... such that we find ourselves healed by Nature... if we allow it to. There's something in us that simply cannot be satisfied by all the money and technology in the world. That's the void only Nature can fill, so regularly surround yourself with it, and you will feel its abundance in your life.

In a world informed by consumerism and technology, it's easy to understand why most of us have come to equate abundance with corporate success and position, physical beauty, money and power, and the ability to access an infinite world of information.

When we fail to meet these benchmarks, we feel like social pariahs, deficient in the riches the world has defined for us. This leads to feelings of low self-esteem, fear and doubt, emotional turmoil and fractured relationships. Those of us who manage to achieve those riches often end up realising that they don't fulfill us in the ways we thought they could.

The world has been neatly split for us into the "haves" and the "have-nots". Those of us who have not spend our entire lives struggling to live up to the expectations of what constitutes an abundant life, but end up merely enriching the wallets of those who already do control the world's riches.

I am not saying that chasing a millionaire's dream is futile or that is its not worthy of your attention. Money gives you the power to do many things you otherwise would not be able to. Lifewise, physical beauty, social status and authority are very useful to have. But they are not the only paths towards abundance. In truth, they are distractions on the path to true abundance. They can be fulfilling, but first you must have achieved the foundation required to mitigate their negative effects.

Think about it... If you lost all your wealth tomorrow, would you still be happy? If your youth and beauty faded overnight, could you still love yourself? If you cannot have what you desperately desire, can you still find peace?

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Healing Long-Term Conflicts

It's been so long, the details of how the dispute happened and why are really quite blurry. But you are still uncomfortable with interacting with this person, and do your best to avoid any social gatherings or venues where you might run into them.

This person is usually a relative - your sibling, your cousin, your child or your parent - other times a colleague, neighbour, former friend or ex-partner. When you are reminded of them, it is almost as if teh scab of your wound has been peeled open and you are once again shuddering in pain.

Such long-term estrangement is extremely unfortunate because most of the time, the initial sticking point was not so monstrous as to warrant such extended alienation and hostility. A misunderstanding just somehow ballooned into this uneasy, awkward thing that's keeping you apart today. And avoidance does not heal the wounds; they simply fester quietly, eating at your peace of mind and quality of life, poisoning current and future relationships.

When we encounter opposition, many of us choose to take it personally instead of accepting that diversity is a fact of life and that we should respect the choices others make. Because we cannot accept that others are different and can have very different experiences and opinions from us, we can find ourselves in conflicts with them. It can then become a bad vs. good, us vs. them kind of thing. This is evident also in the political arena, where rigid battle lines are drawn between opposing candidates and nations because of disagreement. With relatives, close friends and partners, we can often feel betrayed by them.

To truly find peace with the ones you feel have hurt you in the past, you have to start with your own inner conflicts.

Understand that only you can be responsible for your own happiness and well-being. Learn to look beyond the discord and realize that you are bigger than it; that it's something you can rise above. Besides, a long term dispute can be an opportunity for both parties to put aside their differences and come together to heal and create future benefits. Where there was pain, there can be healing and joy, and where there was hatred, love.

You don't have to pretend nothing happened. A big part of the healing process is acknowledging the underlying bad feelings and hurt. Yes, it happened, but how can we move on, stop blaming, and start healing?

Our conflicts can be our greatest teachers. Our former enemies can also become our most faithful friends. Allow them to show you how to release the pain of old wounds.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

More Choice, More Stress?

Hundreds of TV channels. Millions of YouTube videos. Hundreds of thousands of iPhone apps. Not to mention a giddy range of mobile phones, digicams, and other consumer goods at the ever-increasing number of super duper mega malls.

We live in an era of unprecedented freedom and choice. And most people would say that having more options is a good thing. But is it really? Does it really improve the quality of our lives? Or are our lives becoming increasingly complex because of the overload of choices? What about discontentment? Are we demanding more, appreciating less, and always seeking the best such that we think that our present lot is never good enough?

Freedom of choice can be a good thing, but we are slowly discovering that it has a limit. There is a point at which it becomes a burden. Excessive choice can set you up to have expectations too high for satisfaction. Is this also happening in our relationships? Can no one live up to our expectations because we are looking for the elusive "ideal" mate?

As the number of choices keep growing, there is an increase in stress, decision-making dilemmas, anxiety, fears and disappointments. The more we have, the more we want, the more that's available, the more we crave.

Now this might sound regressive, but what if we consider embracing certain constraints on our freedom of choice instead of rebelling against all of them? Like with making music, having certain structures and rules helps us to create harmony. Maintaining some discipline in our lives, for example, can help us achieve more success and health.

What about appreciating what we already have instead of hankering after what we don't? Human nature is such that we tend to get used to and get bored with what we have, leading us to want more and more and to seek greater and higher thrills. So try embracing and appreciating the finer points of what is already "good enough" in your life.

Many of us are also too preoccupied with what others are doing - what they are buying, who they are dating, how they seem to be happier than us and so on. This only makes us more frustrated with our own lives. So what if we paid less attention to others and started focusing more on our own lives and what we can do to improve them?

So if more choice is bringing you more confusion, try simplifying your life. Take a closer look at what you already have in your life. Aren't there positive aspects of them you have perhaps neglected? How can you love them more?

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Staying Motivated in Uncertain Times

Nothing in life is predictable. You can plan your life as tightly as you possibly can, and still there will be times when it can all come crashing down.

So how do you stay motivated when life is so uncertain? How do you remain creative during times when nothing around you seems to give you inspiration?

First of all, learn to concentrate on the good. Your perception of something determines whether it hammers your spirit or gives it wings. So always focus on the positive - find the lesson, or the beauty. What new wisdom have you gained? Did you find a new friend? Or perhaps a fresh perspective? Everything can bring you closer to your goals. You don't always know it at the time, but if you seek the good in everything, there is no defeat.

Also, when a difficulty arises, focus on the solution. Many people dwell on the problem, seeing it grow more menacing and complicated in their minds, shrinking their hearts. So concentrate on the solution, break it down into manageable steps, then take action. For example, if a lucrative market is suddenly closed off to you, don't keep thinking about the potential profits lost; look elsewhere! The world is too large for you to remain in one place for too long.

Along the road to your goals, there are plenty of motels that offer a seductive rest. These places often have names like "The Past", "Complacency", "Indolence", "Lovely Laurels to Rest On", and the like. We have all checked into these places before. The stay is always pleasant enough of course, but if we linger too long, we find it hard to leave. So by all means, revisit your past, indulge a little in your achievements, but when it all gets too comfortable, move on. Don't sacrifice your future by living in the past.

Successful people know that a positive, forward-looking attitude is indispensable. You too can be as postive as you want to be if you will concentrate on the good, seek out the valuable lesson, focus on the solution and think about and head towards the future. If you think as successful people think, using your mind to exert mental control over the situatino, you will be positive and in good spirits most of the time.

When the unexpected snag occurs, you will find that you are better able to get yourself going again.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Being Open to Possibilities

Almost everyday, we are bombarded with bad news, bleak outlooks, and people who complain about how miserable their lives are. In such a climate, it is no small task remaining upbeat and optimistic. But it is precisely that kind of positive attitude that will open your eyes to the opportunities that are always present.

When you participate in negative dialogue, either with yourself or with others, you are setting yourself up for failure. It is almost as if there is an instinct to prove oneself right, and if you think things will turn out badly, your thoughts and action will contribute to that result. When you retreat from a world you perceive as grim, you are closing yourself off to the possibilities.

But what happens if you remain open to the possibilities? When you view the world from a perspective of unlimited potential, your attitude will shift. So will the way you engage your employees, customers, friends and family; everyone you come into contact with. You will project an image of abundance, and your drive and hope will inspire those around you. You will become a motivating force in a climate of openness and courage, a climate that gives back to you just as much, if not more, than what you gave to create it.

When we ae open to possibilities, we see further and more inclined to take risks. Risks that may not always yield the results we want, but which create more paths towards our goals. You are only a failure if you stop trying. Because opportunities for success are limitless - when one does not pay off the way you imagines, there is always the next, and the next. One of them will be the one to catapult you forward, and it could just be the next one.

Being open means that you have to stand confident in the realm of possibilities - no matter the competition and no matter you fear. If you entire focus is on what your competitors are doing, your attitude will be passed on to your employees, and, ultimately, your clients. But if you focus on what you do best and how to better satisfy your clients and engage with them in new and powerful ways, your results will be quite different!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Loving Your True Self

Some people always put others before them, and to them this is a very natural thing; they feel they are being selfless and sympathetic. But in the process, they can forget who they are and lose themselves. They begin to get depressed, lose focus and ambition and wonder what happened to their lives to make them get to this point. The answer is simple - they let their obligations and responsibilities get in the way of fulfilling their life's destiny and, in short, they lost themselves to others.

So, how does on who has become lost get found again?

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your loved ones is to practice self-love. Loving and respecting yourself more than anyone else is crucial because if you can't help yourself, you can't help others.

Nobody was born disliking how they looked. But some of us learnt to become insecure about our appearance as we grew up. So, reclaim that birthright. Fall in love with yourself all over again. See what you can do to enhance your appearance. We can all look and feel better by paying more attention to our wardrobe, grooming, fitness and how we carry ourselves.

Now that you have worked on the outside, it is time to work on the inside. what's holding you back? What will set you free?

self-reliance is your key to freedom. Many of us rely on others to give us fulfillment and validation, but depending on others exposes us to attacks. We also risk ending up helpless and alone.

Ask yourself if you are happy depending on others to make you happy. If not, make a list of goals to achieve a sense of self-validation and independence. The first thing on your list should be to accept responsibilities. Living your life always allowing others to make things happen for you or make your life better puts you at the mercy of others later in life. Even within a relationship, try your best to even things out. Nobody likes giving all the time. So do your part.

And focus your life to doing good whenever you can. Doing good empowers us to make us feel more useful and valuable.

In order to be true to yourself, you must find time to reboot your life to become the happy, well-adjusted person lying dormant inside of you. By taking that positive step towards finding the self-love you deserve, you open yourself to happiness and self-fulfillment and become the person you want to be!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Watching What We Say

We all understand keenly the power of information. The battle can be won simply because one side intercepted news of the enemy's intention. A rash email can become a source of deep embarassment, not to mention potential source of blackmail. A person's reputation can be ruined by rumour.

Of cource, most of the time, our talk is a positive attribute. It helps us make friends and helps others feel included in a group. But sometimes, we get so caught up in talking and "doing what comes naturally" that we forget to think before we open our mouths.

There is an adage that goes "The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid."

Here's something to think about the next time we feel the urge to talk about someone, or are in the presence of someone talking about someone else.

Do i know this to be the absolute truth? Am I adding embellishments of my own? How well-informed am I about this person or this situation? Am I qualified to make a judgement? Did I get this news from someone else? How reliable is that person? Is he or she consistently gossiping about others? Am I pointing out the flaws of others in order to distract people from my own? Would I want this news shared about me?

I know it's extremely difficult to hold our tongues - very often we think of it as "Just making conversation". But think about what your words are doing. Are you muddying the person's reputation just for a bit of "conversation"? What are your words doing to you? What are they doing to other people's perception of you?

The next time you're drawn into a conversation, watch what you say. What are you discussing? What impressions are you forming, intentionally or unintentionally? Are you preoccupied with the trivial pursuits, trials and defeats of other people instead of focusing on your own flaws and working on them to improve yourself?

What we say about other people also says volumes about the kind of person we are. As someone once wrote: "The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly."

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Creating Your Own Inspiring Personal Space

Stress can prematurely age our mind and body. If not dealt with effectively, chronic stress and worrying can place undue strain upon our cardiovascular and immune systems. It can also make us prone to mood disorders and negatively affect our cognitive functions. having a safe and comfortable place where we can relax and unwind can help improve our well-being and produce feelings of peace and tranquility.

Here are some easy ways to make your personal space a true comfort zone.

Your favourite music and natural sounds can help you relax and unwind. Sounds have the ability to alter our perceptions and instantly change our mood.

Live plants create a peaceful atmosphere. They improve the ambience and air quality of indoor environments, and induce a positive energy around them.

Soft and adjustable lighting can create a soothing atmosphere. Look for light bulbs that are bright, but not harsh. Being able to adjust the brightness of your lighting will give you more control of the mood of your space.

A fresh and pleasant fragrance can transport you to a peaceful place and time. Use air purifiers or essential oils to create the 'aroma' you find most pleasing.

Place your furniture and other items to best fit your daily needs and actions. Personalize your space with things that invoke happy memories.

Use pillows and other soft materials to create a comfort zone. Our sense of touch has a powerful impact upon our feelings.

Bring the outdoors inside with shells, rocks, feathers, wood, leaves, and so on.

Take control of your surroundings, even when they are just a corner of a room or a desk at work. You can even use these steps when traveling to help you unwind. By creating your own personal oasis, you will be better able to relax and rejuvenate. A few changes may be all that you need to make yourself calm, peaceful, energized and inspired.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Recharging Flat Existence

You were once young and vibrant - you had friends, you had dreams, you had goals, a great job, a wonderful relationship, a beautiful wedding, lovely children.

What about now? Are you still getting the most of what life has to offer? How is your relationship with your spouse? Are you enthusiastic about every day? Or have you turned you into a mirthless lump? What happened?

Life probably wore you out. You increasingly took people and things for granted. You forgot to nourish your sense of self-worth and gratitude. You forgot to feed love and joy and they very simply withered. Now all your demands and constant diatribes have distanced you from the people who love you the most.

And you are not alone. We are all at risk of allowing life to crush us under its lumbering, unsleeping weight. When we were younger, perhaps we were less disillusioned, more passionate, more resilient to the lashes, but after some time, we began to feel the strain. Our lesser instincts began to creep into larger spaces of our lives. We got lazy, ill-tempered, discontented, suspicious and fearful. We became pessimistic and saw doubt and shadow in everything.

The good news though, is that your situation is not hopeless. Most people stay in such crippling traps because they never realize that they have a problem and need to do something about it. They blame their plight on other people and the belief that "that's just the way life is". But life doesn't have to be this way. It's like this now because you did nothing to prevent it from sliding down the slippery slope. You saw termites eating away at the corners of your house and did nothing.

But it's never too late. You created the present conditions and only you can make things change.

Has the interation between you and your partner been reduced to how he or she forgot to pay the bills or missed that crucial turn? Does your partner avoid conversation because he or she is afraid that you might blow up again?

Bring back the praise, the compliments and expressions of love. Touch each other lovingly again. Indulge in fun activities and good thoughts. Crack more jokes. Practise more forgiveness. Banish unreasonable people from your mind - it does not hurt them that you are getting all angry and flustered.

Find a away to make things different. As with every solution, it all starts inside. Be good to yourself today. Don't wait for the other person to make the change. Life is too short.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd