The Power to Walk Away

How do you deal with potentially explosive situations? Where tempers are beginning to flare, tensions are steadily escalating, and sufficient buttons have been pushed?

What happens with many people is that they remain in the situation, either hoping to talk things over calmly or to make their point emphatically clear. But this can only work if the other party is willing to collaborate. But sometimes, the other party can be willfully difficult. They can be persons who get off on pushing your hot buttons.

What happens then? A likely scenario is that like a fish to the bait, you continue to engage in the conversation, the other party continues to gall you, and *snap!*, the last straw breaks your back. At this point, when self-control is lost, you may utter threats, make scathing remarks, or throw potshots that you immediately regret.

In social setting, you may end up looking rash and petty. In a business or corporate setting, you may appear to be antagonistic and hot-tempered. In a personal context, you may end up really hurting a loved one. In the long term, angry outbursts will sour any relationship.

If you find yourself quite unintentionally getting yourself into potentially-explosive situations, how can you avoid actually exploding?

Well, you can walk away.

A seemingly simple thing to do, but something that can be extremely difficult to do in practice, especially when you feel you've been grossly misunderstood. You'd want to stake it out and explain yourself until the other person gets it, right?

That's what keeps you there. That's makes you reiterate your arguments again and again until they begin to sound meaningless. In these instances, you're at the losing end; it's simply more sensible to walk away.

Do you have the power to walk away from potentially-explosive situations? Are you able to postpone defending yourself to another more appropriate time? Can you conserve your cool and avoid saying or doing something you'll regret later?

Because when you care too much about winning in such situations, you lose. You're the one who feels the pressure, you're the one who seems antagonistic and defensive. It will be hard initially, but practice walking away and you'll understand just how powerful it can be in defusing explosive situations and even persuade others to see things your way.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd