Worry has a terrible reputation. It's often blamed for disrupting our peace of mind and robbing us of our happiness. But most of the time, worry gets an unfair bum rap.
After all, if worry didn't set off alarm bells every once in a while, we'd be waltzing blindly into dangerous situations.
Worry is an instinctive self-defense mechanism. It exists to help us avoid trouble. Unfortunately, for many of us, we simply allow worry to cripple us. We allow it to grow into an irrational fear without taking positive action. That's when worry becomes harmful - when we allow it to paralyse us; when we do nothing to counter the damaging stress hormones it produces.
The first step towards eliminating irrational worry is simply to do something! Instead of just sitting around fretting, get up and do something about it. You may not be able to solve the problem right away but by doing something, you're forcing your mind to take its focus off the problem and concentrate on something else. Besides giving you some reprieve, this also releases pent-up energy and exposes you to external stimuli that may trigger ideas for a resolution. So hit the gym, spring clean your room, do the laundry, go for a walk, whatever, just do something.
Next, evaluate what's bothering you from a rational, logical standpoint. If this was something to a friend, what would you tell him or her? Write the challenge down and list the possible solutions. There is often plenty you can do to alleviate the problem, even if you can't resolve it immediately.
Very often, doing nothing is what causes the worry to deepen - the wavering between "Yes" and "No". So examine your options and make a decision. Remember, not making a choice is also a choice and often the worst one of all. So make a decision and move on. We all make mistakes but the important thing is to learn from our mistake and move on as better people.
Whether it's a person, thing or even that's fuelling your worry, confront it head on. Very often, our worries are just products of our imagination and confronting the challenge in question will make sure the ghosts are exorcised once and for all.
So make that phone call, meet that person, do what you fear now.
When we're stressed, our body produces a destructive hormone called cortisol. If not regularly manages, cortisol can lead to several major illnesses. So if something is bothering you, breath! Take a deep breath and relax. Take a warm shower, mediate, listen to soothing music, go for a slow walk, read a feelgood book.
So the next time worry's got you in spin, don't let it push you around. Take charge and take action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Empowering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Empowering. Show all posts
Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
We've all, at some point, compared ourselves with others and ended up feeling inferior or discontented. Talk about self-torture!
Whether it's someone's looks, social status, talents, popularity, car, fame, or body, most of us do this without really thinking about what we're doing, but think about how often you do it, and you will realize just how frequently you are dis-empowering yourself.
Comparing ourselves with others erodes our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we're capable of in life.
When we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inadequate, we may feel that we shoudl be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goals, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn't want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people's goals, what they'd wanted, what they'd achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passion, values, and integrity to gain what you have gained? Would you be able to give up what they'd given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we're less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It's much easier to say "I will never be able to do that!" than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people's definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Whether it's someone's looks, social status, talents, popularity, car, fame, or body, most of us do this without really thinking about what we're doing, but think about how often you do it, and you will realize just how frequently you are dis-empowering yourself.
Comparing ourselves with others erodes our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we're capable of in life.
When we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inadequate, we may feel that we shoudl be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goals, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn't want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people's goals, what they'd wanted, what they'd achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passion, values, and integrity to gain what you have gained? Would you be able to give up what they'd given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we're less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It's much easier to say "I will never be able to do that!" than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people's definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
The fear of rejection is more prevalent than some people would believe. In extreme cases, the anxiety is so great that the person simply retreats or crumbles into an uneasy mess.
To these people, the seemingly common and simple task of interacting with a stranger can be nerve-racking. These people are often frustrated because they are capable of success but are defeated by their fear of rejection. They have no problems being great friends with one or two people but are unable to widen their circle because they cannot seem to make new acquaintances comfortably.
So what can you do if you often face this kind of fear?
First of all, imagine the worst case scenario. Run it through in your mind. At this stage, forget about how you're going to handle rejection. Just think about the worst that could realistically happen. Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Next, decide what rejection means. When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as -"People disklike me", "I am a failure", "I am not worthy of their approval", "I am not good enough", and so on.
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the thing is, only you can choose what rejection means for you. Other people can never make you feel as bad as you yourself can. So, if it's your feelings, your life, your choice, why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as - "The other person is probably feeling down, is insecure about something, or is preoccupied with a problem at the moment", or "I am the only person who's responsible for my own happiness, so I will not allow someone else to take charge". What about "How can I do better next time?" or "At the end of the day, I know that I am loved for who I am, by the people who do matter to me". Who knows, maybe you are the one making the other person nervous. Now wouldn't that be ironic?
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak; that is only the tip of the iceberg. Ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states. The more you do this, that is, laugh at rejection in the face and continue to make your life better, the more comfortable you will be around people. Over time, you will find that the barriers to your success and happiness were not so overbearing after all.
To these people, the seemingly common and simple task of interacting with a stranger can be nerve-racking. These people are often frustrated because they are capable of success but are defeated by their fear of rejection. They have no problems being great friends with one or two people but are unable to widen their circle because they cannot seem to make new acquaintances comfortably.
So what can you do if you often face this kind of fear?
First of all, imagine the worst case scenario. Run it through in your mind. At this stage, forget about how you're going to handle rejection. Just think about the worst that could realistically happen. Our fears often take on a life of their own. However when you can stop for a moment and plan in advance, whatever does happen is usually not so bad after all.
Next, decide what rejection means. When we react emotionally to rejection we can usually come up with some awful reasons why people reject us, such as -"People disklike me", "I am a failure", "I am not worthy of their approval", "I am not good enough", and so on.
These limiting thoughts are only making things worse for you. And the thing is, only you can choose what rejection means for you. Other people can never make you feel as bad as you yourself can. So, if it's your feelings, your life, your choice, why not choose more empowering meanings? Such as - "The other person is probably feeling down, is insecure about something, or is preoccupied with a problem at the moment", or "I am the only person who's responsible for my own happiness, so I will not allow someone else to take charge". What about "How can I do better next time?" or "At the end of the day, I know that I am loved for who I am, by the people who do matter to me". Who knows, maybe you are the one making the other person nervous. Now wouldn't that be ironic?
Knowing what to say is not just a matter of what words to speak; that is only the tip of the iceberg. Ninety per cent of the solution depends on you taking charge of your emotional and mental states. The more you do this, that is, laugh at rejection in the face and continue to make your life better, the more comfortable you will be around people. Over time, you will find that the barriers to your success and happiness were not so overbearing after all.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Motivating Your Team
We're all aware of how important teamwork is. An inspired team, working together towards a clearly defined goal, can accomplish tremendous result. But how do you get all co-workers to pull together and realize they are a vital link in a much bigger picture?
Remember that individuals make a team. Individual contributions add up to the greater whole. Ask for the team's ideas and suggestions and base specific goals on these. Be sure each team member understands his/her role in the overall plan.
Communicate clearly. Present information in an organized, easy-to-follow way. Make it clear, communication within the group is a two-way process. Acknowledge everyone's thoughts, ideas and fears equally. And above all, be honest.
Be a good example. Maintain firm, fair and clearly understood standards. Tackle unpleasant tasks as soon as possible. If criticism is necessary, make it constructive. Keep emotions in check.
Delegate. No one can do everything. Understand which jobs don't need your personal touch and trust them to someone else. Match jobs to skills and abilities, providing necessary training and encouragement. Provide goals and guidelines.
Accept change. Discuss changes - also suggested changes - with your team thoroughly. Reassure team players that changes are positive, clearly pointing out the benefits. Encourage all members to express their feelings about what's happening and tend to wounded egos appropriately.
Praise with specifics. Focus on performance and behaviour and not on the person. Do it regularly and in a timely fashion.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Remember that individuals make a team. Individual contributions add up to the greater whole. Ask for the team's ideas and suggestions and base specific goals on these. Be sure each team member understands his/her role in the overall plan.
Communicate clearly. Present information in an organized, easy-to-follow way. Make it clear, communication within the group is a two-way process. Acknowledge everyone's thoughts, ideas and fears equally. And above all, be honest.
Be a good example. Maintain firm, fair and clearly understood standards. Tackle unpleasant tasks as soon as possible. If criticism is necessary, make it constructive. Keep emotions in check.
Delegate. No one can do everything. Understand which jobs don't need your personal touch and trust them to someone else. Match jobs to skills and abilities, providing necessary training and encouragement. Provide goals and guidelines.
Accept change. Discuss changes - also suggested changes - with your team thoroughly. Reassure team players that changes are positive, clearly pointing out the benefits. Encourage all members to express their feelings about what's happening and tend to wounded egos appropriately.
Praise with specifics. Focus on performance and behaviour and not on the person. Do it regularly and in a timely fashion.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Empowering Others
Delegating is a commonly misunderstood concept. Delegating is not about dumping problems or chores you dislike doing onto the shoulders of others; it's an invaluable tool for motivating and training your team to realize their full potential.
We have the ability to assist another person in capitalizing on their full potential. This person could be your spouse, your child or co-worker.
How many thousands of dollars do people spend on motivational tapes, programs, workshops, coaches and training seminars on learning how to make best use of our abilities? Most people want true fulfillment, in all areas of life.
Therefore, it benefits you and your loved ones to learn how to delegate.
Make sure this person knows that you want done, that they can actually complete the task, and they know how to do it.
Many people worry that if they let others do a job for them, they will lose control or the job will not be completed as well as you would have done it.
When you think about tasks you can delegate, decide what is "good enough". Don't judge others based on your own benchmarks. You'll soon see how happy people are to help you and how good they feel doing a job that requires them to make their own decisions. They feel empowered and your confidence in them only helps.
Give your children a chance at loading or unloading the laundry. Allow your spouse to guide you to your destination using the street directory. Assign a special project to your subordinates at work. Even a toddler can help set the table. The cutlery may not be in the right places, but one day they will get there! You're laying an important foundation.
So empower your loved ones today. Delegate some jobs that they can feel proud completing.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
We have the ability to assist another person in capitalizing on their full potential. This person could be your spouse, your child or co-worker.
How many thousands of dollars do people spend on motivational tapes, programs, workshops, coaches and training seminars on learning how to make best use of our abilities? Most people want true fulfillment, in all areas of life.
Therefore, it benefits you and your loved ones to learn how to delegate.
Make sure this person knows that you want done, that they can actually complete the task, and they know how to do it.
Many people worry that if they let others do a job for them, they will lose control or the job will not be completed as well as you would have done it.
When you think about tasks you can delegate, decide what is "good enough". Don't judge others based on your own benchmarks. You'll soon see how happy people are to help you and how good they feel doing a job that requires them to make their own decisions. They feel empowered and your confidence in them only helps.
Give your children a chance at loading or unloading the laundry. Allow your spouse to guide you to your destination using the street directory. Assign a special project to your subordinates at work. Even a toddler can help set the table. The cutlery may not be in the right places, but one day they will get there! You're laying an important foundation.
So empower your loved ones today. Delegate some jobs that they can feel proud completing.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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