Effective Goal-Setting & Realisation

We often hear people talk about goal-setting and why it's important.

Less commonly-discussed though is how to effectively set your goals and how you can actually achieve them.

Most of us are hindered by the Big P - Procrastination.

Yes we know what we want but we think, "I guess that can wait till tomorrow". Which becomes "next week", "next month", "next year" and eventually... "never".

Many people also find themselves encumbered by fear, self-doubt or plain laziness and so put up all sorts of imaginary barriers like perceived impossibility of the dream becoming reality, lack of time or money, lack of ability, the absence of opportunities.

You know we can be very creative when it comes to finding excuses why we can't.

This is because although we do have goals, we don't have compelling reasons or motivations to make them happen. We're just now that excited about them.

Let's say one of your goals is to double your income or to cultivate a steady side income. Sure, you want more money, but why do you want it? Many people have very general or superficial reasons like "so I can buy more things" or "so I can be financially free".

You see, to make your goals exciting enough for you to actually manifest them, you've got to get down to the nitty-gritty and what's really important to you.

How exactly will the extra money improve your life? Perhaps it's so you can give your loved ones a better life - a nicer home, better insurance cover, treat them to an expensive holiday every year maybe.

Is it to invest in real estate or stocks so you can scale down your workload and still have a healthy income? Or perhaps you envision opening a small business you're passionate about that you can run in your later years?

Once your motivations are solid enough, you'll naturally want to take action to achieve your goals. But does the task seem too daunting? Well, start by finding out how exactly you're going to get to where you want to go. You've got to do the math, the research, get the practical know-how. If you've got an idea for that killer app that everyone will want to buy, then you've got to first learn how to actually create one.

Once you get into it, you'll find that it wasn't as complicated as you thought.

Like completing a marathon, if the length of the race already makes you weak at the knees, then break it down and just focus on the first few kilometers,

Get through them, then aim for the next leg.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Dealing with a Mid Life Crisis

So you've been feeling off-colour lately.

Everyday you wake up to a life that seems increasingly monotone and remote to you. The job that used to give you so much satisfaction now seems like a chore.

You're questioning your value both at work and at home - are you getting better at your job or have you plateaued? are you a good father? are you a good wife?

It's as if you've suddenly lost touch with the world.

You're tired most of the time and you don't seem to be doing anything right.

Is this what they call Mid Life Crisis? Well, it's hard to say, although it's more likely that your soul is telling you to get your life aligned with your values.

In the past, you've pursued the things you believed you needed - things like that car, that club membership, partying every other night, maxing out your credit card on designer labels and having as many romantic trysts as possible. You were young, you weren't worried about health, money or what's going to happen tomorrow; you were just living life!

But now, these things don't seem to give you the gratification they used to. Your relationship with your partner, your family members, your colleagues are all not too good. You feel that you're missing something and that life will continue to feel empty until you find it. So what can you do?

Start by writing a list of 20 items in your life which you are not completely happy with, covering things like relationship, career, family, health, wealth, personal, friends, habits and son. Once the list is completed, rank each item for the level of dissatisfaction this particular item provides.

From the list, choose the 6 items which frustrate you the most. Write a detailed description of why, how and when these issues arise. Describing also how you feel when these issues are active.

Next, review those parts of your life which bring you true happiness. Rank them in order and pick out the 6 items which give you the most satisfaction. Also write why, how and when they arise.

Look at both lists and think critically about how you can lessen the dissatisfaction and increase the joy in your life by doing more of certain things and less of others.

The more detailed and honest you are, the most successful you will be in crystallising a blueprint for your life ahead that will reduce your stress and bring you more happiness and satisfaction.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Building Self-Confidence

Very Often, before other people start to have faith in you, you have to have confidence in your own abilities. Self-confidence is a very powerful state of mind that other people quickly notice and easily respect. So how can you develop a high-level of self-confidence?

Consider these steps:

First, choose to concentrate on your strengths rather than on your weaknesses. Confidence comes from within. You have to concentrate on the positive things about yourself. Remember the past if over; you can only change the future.

If you have trouble doing this, write down ten positive things about yourself. People often find it very helpful to actually see the words.

Concentrate on your potentials. These are the reasons why you should love yourself and believe in yourself. Give yourself credit for every successful or good thing that you do.

Next, remind yourself of past successes. Confidence builds on past success. The more you do this, the more convinced you'll be that it's possible to succeed again. Most people unfortunately can't help focusing on what they did wrong in the past. This failure to forget and let go damages their self-confidence.

Also, learn to take risks. Risk is a crucial part of life: it is necessary before any great success can be achieved. If you spend your life avoiding risk, you will never experience all that life has to offer.

Cultivate an enthusiasm for trying out new things. Once you get past that initial barrier, you will find that's it's very empowering. Yes, you will fail sometimes but the lessons and experiences are invaluable. As you do and try more, your confidence level increases because you realise that you become more and more knowledgeable.

Approach new experiences as opportunities to learn instead of occasions to win or lose.

Next, use self-talk as an opportunity to contradict destructive beliefs. For example, if you catch yourself expecting perfection, tell yourself that you can't do everything perfectly; that it's only possible to do your best.

And visualise your future success. Our minds cannot distinguish the difference between something real and something vividly imagined.

What will your future look like, smell like, taste like, and feel like?

Who will be with you and where will you be? How will you be feeling?

Placing this much vivid detail into your mind increases the likelihood of success and supports greater confidence!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Effective Time Management

Time is one of our most precious resources.

Each of us is only given a finite amount of it and how we choose to use that time makes all the difference.

Consider these questions:

Do you know where your time is being spent?

Do you know where you are maximising your time and where it is simply being wasted?

are you spending more time on the things that take you closer to your goals?

Do you prioritise your activities in order of importance or impact?

Do you focus on one thing at a time instead of trying to do many things at once?

People who feel like they're stuck are not fully aware of where their time is going or going into. They don't prioritise their activities and tend to spend most of their time on things that don't bring about any positive change.

The passage towards their goals is often derailed by distractions. And they try to cram as many tasks as possible into a period of time, often ending up with mediocre or even below-average results.

The first step towards taking control of your time is understanding what it is exactly you are spending it on. Keep a record of how much of your time each day is spent doing what.

You might be surprised at just how much of your life is being wasted on activities that essentially don't benefit you at all.

Gradually scratch those things off your schedule and replace them with what I call "actuators" - activities that get you ahead in terms of your self-development.

Next, identify the activities that give you the greatest mileage and spend more time on them. For example, would shifting your gym training to before you go to the office make you more alert and efficient?

Would it give you more time later to tackle unforeseen tasks and finish your work properly?

What about focusing on clients who demand better quality work but also pay better, rather than accepting every job that comes along?

Always prioritise your tasks and highlight the top or top two jobs that absolutely must be done by the end of the day. This way, even when contingencies crop up (as they often do), you will be sure that you got the most important things covered.

As much as possible, focus on one task at a time and strive to give it your best. Too much emphasis is put on multi-tasking these days and it's highly over-rated.

If you can do several things at a time but only produce average results, you're simply a robot in a factory line.

It's the ones who can do one thing but excel in it who are most valuable.

And finally, even if the Internet seems like the only thing you will need these days, it can be one of the biggest time-wasters.

Things like email, instant messaging and social networking can easily take up a huge chunk of your day if you don't limit the time you spend on them.

So give yourself a quota. One or tow hours a day and that's it.

There is more to life than Facebook.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Asking Questions

You've probably heard the joke about how men can never ask for directions while driving.

You know, how they will drive round in circles, hopelessly lost, yet are maddeningly confident about where they're going - "Don't worry dear, I know it's just after the next turn".

How they will sooner eat their foot than admit they're lost and consult a passer-by?

Well, I don't know how true this is - but I do know that in being afraid of asking questions, one loses out on the opportunity to learn something, to improve oneself, to make things better.

Asking questions is an essential way we all learn - after all, a Chinese proverb goes, "He who asks is a fool for a minute. He who doesn't ask is a fool forever".

But the power of asking questions goes beyond simply asking other people questions. Asking ourselves the right questions can also have dramatic impact on our self improvement, success and happiness.

There are times when we find ourselves in difficult or uncomfortable situations or even in a position where we feel completely overwhelmed.

It can be very easy to say 'what have I done to deserve this?' or 'why does this always happen to me?'

However, these questions are destructive and only serve to prepare us for future disappointments. In fact, they can actually guarantee it! The questions we ask ourselves reflect our state of mind, reinforce our beliefs and have a huge impact on our results.

We all experience events that seem too overwhelming to deal with and there is a great deal of valuable information available to help in these situations.

But in almost any situation, no matter how bad it may seem, there is usually something positive that can be found.

Actually asking the question 'what can I learn from this situation?' is a great starting point, even if you only learn what not to do in the future.

But you can go much further. It has often been said that when one door closes, another opens and that in every setback lies opportunity.

Don't just stare at the closed door - why not try asking yourself what opportunities are now available or what doors have just opened for you?

It will improve your state of mind and may just change your life.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd