Active Focusing

You attract what you focus on.

This principle works by charting a new direction for your mind.

You begin to see improvement, more opportunities and have more enriching and blissful experiences simply because you choose to look out for them.

Where previously you tended to expect negative things, now you are more confident and optimistic. When you actively focus on good things, your mind propels your entire being to search for them.

If you want more beauty in your life, for instance... you then actively seek out whatever is beautiful to you, focus on it, take it in and give thanks for it.

Notice the next picture you come across, the next person, the next line in a book, how the puddles glisten in the sun after the rain and bless the beauty inspires in you.

What about good ideas? Kind acts? Could you choose to focus on the positive qualities in life and bless them as well?

You will find that the more you do this, the more good things will be revealed to you and seem to "magically" come your way. There's no magic here though... you are seeing them more often because you are seeking them out more often. You are choosing to pay attention to the things you used to overlook and ignore. And it's natural also for other people to give you more good things because you seem to appreciate them more!

Unhappy, discontented people typically choose to do the opposite. They think poorly of themselves and do not expect to achieve more success. They anticipate disappointment and failure. It's no surprise that they are consistently disappointed!

An unhappy, unfulfilled person also tends to see a good thing and be envious of it, coveting it, bitter with his inability to own it.

If you choose to actively focus on positive things though, you will see a good thing and celebrate it. You will want to get to know it, understand it, learn from it and see how you can emulate its strengths. You will be nourished by it instead of being threatened by its brilliance.

When choosing to focus actively on the positive though, it's crucial to understand that though it involves a seemingly straight-forward switch in mindset, it's not something that happens overnight or is turned on like a light.

Many people are disappointed that they don't get instant results or are put off by the pomposity of affirmations like "I am confident!", "I am successful!", "I am beautiful!" and so on.

So go easy with it. Say "I'm getting more confident", "I'm increasing my chances for success", "I'm beginning to see more beauty in me".

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

We've all, at some point, compared ourselves with others and ended up feeling inferior or discontented. Talk about self-torture!

Whether it's someone's looks, social status, talents, popularity, car, fame, or body, most of us do this without really thinking about what we're doing, but think about how often you do it, and you will realize just how frequently you are dis-empowering yourself.

Comparing ourselves with others erodes our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we're capable of in life.

When we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inadequate, we may feel that we shoudl be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?

Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goals, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.

Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn't want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people's goals, what they'd wanted, what they'd achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.

Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passion, values, and integrity to gain what you have gained? Would you be able to give up what they'd given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?

When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we're less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It's much easier to say "I will never be able to do that!" than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.

If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people's definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Thinking Beyond Current Standards

It's natural to be satisfied with the way things are, especially when things are going well, life is smooth-sailing, there are no viable competitors and there isn't incentive to charge anything.

But Life is about change. It's about constant movement, and if you are not moving forward all the time, you are either stuck, or worse, sliding. Besides, when we settle, we give up the chance to find out how things could be.

One of the most striking examples of how important constant evolution is in the business of electronic gadgets. Who would have thought that smartphones, for instance, would take over the world, almost overnight it seems? And you can be sure that the Jobs' and Gates' of the world are already thinking of the next super communication slash entertainment tool that defies convention and would be unimaginable to most of us today.

That's the essence of success - consistently staying a few steps ahead.

Most people will be happy with current standards. There is certain reverence given to them it seems... We often hears terms like "time-tested", "classic", "tested and proven", "traditional" and so on when it comes to the way things have always been done.

This love for the status quo occurs not just in career or business. People can become attached to the prevailing standard in their personal lives as well - they can become attached to places, to environments, to possessions, to ideas, to other people, to repetitious acts that give them temporary or superficial pleasure.

These people can get sucked into this artificial world - a world where things don't change, where things and people remain where they want them to be, a world where any change is snuffed out forcefully or artificially. While the real world continues to move on, they retreat deeper and deeper into their artificial world until they become obsolete and out of touch within the real world.

The truth is - the world moves on, people move on, fads come and go, technologies emerge and fade, cultures and contexts evolve. Over time, things and people who don't steadily develop themselves will get left behind.

The only way you can remain ahead of the game is to constantly thing beyond the current standards - once things become relatively stable, it's time to think about how they can be done better, how they can be further enhanced.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Attracting Success

Everyone wants success.

Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing it, to the determent of everything else. At the other end of the spectrum are people who feel that success is impossible. They conclude that it is destined only for a select few. And the rest of us in between are content with whatever we have. We may desire greater success, but we believe somehow that we are not "fated" or "destined" to achieve it.

However, these assumptions could not be further from the truth. When you strive for success with the wrong assumptions, you will never reach it. It's like trying to reach a destination with the wrong map.

You can't hurry success, catch it, or find it by chance. You cannot inherit it, gate-crash it, or take it from someone else. Success is something you must work hard and long to ear, for yourself. It has a price, sometimes a very high one. And most people aren't really and truly ready to pay that price, to do what success demands.

To achieve success, first you must understand that success is a process. It requires time and patience. There are no short cuts. Anything else is just a temporary illusion. Success that will remain with you, and bring you joy rather than sorrow, requires a learning process, a time to grow out of old habits and into new ones, a time to learn what works and what doesn't. So don't be in a hurry.

In order to attain success, you will also need to acquired traits and skills that attract it. Define what success means to you. What traits or skills will you need to achieve this goal? Devise plans to acquire the needs traits and skills. Learn to do what you need to do, to get where you want to go. Find two or three people who have what you want. Write down the habits that have made them successful and resolve to copy them.

And once you have made up your mind to achieve success, you must be ready to travel the road to success, oftentimes alone. Author Les Brown once said that, "At some point in time, the pursuit of your goals becomes secondary and what you have become in the process is what is most important." when infants reach for the toy that their parents have placed some distance away, it's not the toy that's the prize; it's simply motivation for the child to learn something more important, something more lasting, and that is to learn to crawl, and of course, to finally walk and run! It's to strengthen their muscles so they can reach for other goals in life.

Anyone can success, but not everyone will. And success differs for each person. It's your definition, and your decision.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Finding Your Own Path

A line by songwriter Tim Booth goes "If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor".

Well, in a society where wealth and success is not only evident but relentlessly sold to us every day, it's natural for the average person to question his own lot.

Not that we shouldn't want to achieve more, but the majority of the messages we get these days tend to convince us that to be happy, to be proud of ourselves, to be respected by others, we must attain great wealth or be a frontrunner in some popular field like sport or music.

It's enough to make many of us can feel awfully inadequate. And this tendency to compare ourselves with others can make us forget about what we want, what makes us happy, what our natural passions drive us to do.

Your ex-classmates, former colleagues and friends may have gone on to earn more, get promoted, buy their third car, their second apartment and so on, but life is not a race. Some of us may want to be a full-time parent, for example, a theatre performer, work with children, travel the world, or a foodie blogger.

Sure, we should aim to move forward in life, but gunning for the benchmarks set by others can often prove frustrating. that's because we each have unique talents, values and passions. In order to be happy and successful in our own way, we have to look to ourselves instead of others.

Start with your innate gifts - what do you do well naturally? Are you good in sports, for example? Draw or paint well? Perhaps you are musically-inclined? Write or speak well? Don't dismiss them as common. You would be surprised how far you could go in a job that requires one or a combination of those gifts.

Think of how you could serve the world. What problem could you solve? That's your value right there. Every job is one that solves a certain problem or fulfills a certain need. Think along those lines and your path towards a more satisfying life and career will become clearer.

So by all means admire others for their achievements, but don't let their yardsticks dictate yours. Explore your own path towards self-discovery and self-fulfillment.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Writing Your Own Story

If Lie was one epic play, and you were an actor playing a role, whose story would you be acting out? Are you the writer of your own life, so to speak? Or are you simply going through the motions in someone's else play?

We each have a set of ideas or beliefs about ourselves that define us as a central character in a "story" that we're living out. All of the elements of the story have been passed down as part of our culture or upbringing, taught or ingrained, or simply fabricated in our own minds. We then go about enacting our stories as if they were true.

The thing is, most of us don't even realise that we're enacting a story, much less someone else's story. Because of this, we're completely at the mercy of the story and its writer, how it unfolds, how we react to certain events, and the eventual course our life takes.

If we don't take the time to construct our own story, we'll continue enacting our current one, even if it isn't working for us, and even if someone else is holding the pen, or typing the keys.

So how can you discover the story you're enacting and decide if it's time to create your own spin-off?

First, assume you are in fact enacting a story. Uncover the elements of your story. Be a detective, hunting for clues. Look at all your behaviours and describe them piece by piece, until the "whole" story emerges.

Next, assess your story. Are you happy with it? What would you change, remove, or add to this story to make it more satisfying? Re-write your story - become the author of the grandest story you can envision - a story that truly inspires.

Share you new story with important people in your life. Talk about your specific role in the story and why it appeals to you. The more you talk about your new story, the more it will become a part of you.

Commit to living your new role in some way. Make at least one change that is in alignment with the new story.

Finally, explore how your new story fits into the bigger story of your family, organisation, corporation, country and the world. What contribution can you new individual story make to the bigger story?

Remember, you are the author and you can write your own story any way you wish.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Making Tough Jobs Easier

On our path to becoming happier and more successful people, there are bound to be things we hate to do, but have to.

Things like sticking to fitness routine, going for extra classes, help to do certain favours, going through mountains of paperwork, painting your room or doing the accounts. All important for making us healthier , more informed, more well-connected, more efficient and so on, but all the same, not very pleasant for some of us.

So what do most of us do when confronted by these tasks? Well, we either procrastinate or simply avoid doing them. Then what happens? Or what doesn't happen, I should say. Positive change cannot occur. Our goals remain in limbo.

But some of us, when faced with seemingly difficult or unpleasant tasks, grit out teeth, pull up our socks, roll up our sleeves and do them anyway. These are the ones who become successful. These are the people who get what they want.

So how can we make difficult task easier or at least less painful to do?

Here are some tricks you could try:

First, call up a friend before and after the task. This gives you added support and a sense of accountability to that friend to keep your word.

Next, plan a big reward after the task. Whether it's a weekend resort getaway, or having friends over for a big game night, this will give you something to look forward to while you are completing your task.

Next, delegate. Sometimes a project can seem particularly arduous because you have so many other things you have to do concurrently. It could be something as simple as picking up kids from school or it could be making blind calls to prospective clients just to see who might be interested in your service. Think about what you can possibly hand over to someone else; a colleague, a subordinate, a helpful family member perhaps. You could even pay someone to help you such as a freelancer to do the accounts during income tax season. Prioritise and see which tasks are essential for your success and which ones you could "farm out" to someone else. If not on a regular basis, then maybe just or the time being.

And finally, while working on the so-called "unpleasant" task, keep your eyes and eyes open. You can find something to enjoy in any job, if not entirely pleasurable, then at least entertaining or informative. Focus on what you can actually take away from the task, how it helps you become a better person and closer to your bigger goals, and the task won't seem so terrible. You might even change your opinion of it altogether and truly appreciate what it's doing for you! Hey, you know you have to do it, so why not make it as fun and rewarding as you can?

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Being Open to Possibilities

Almost everyday, we are bombarded with bad news, bleak outlooks, and people who complain about how miserable their lives are. In such a climate, it is no small task remaining upbeat and optimistic. But it is precisely that kind of positive attitude that will open your eyes to the opportunities that are always present.

When you participate in negative dialogue, either with yourself or with others, you are setting yourself up for failure. It is almost as if there is an instinct to prove oneself right, and if you think things will turn out badly, your thoughts and action will contribute to that result. When you retreat from a world you perceive as grim, you are closing yourself off to the possibilities.

But what happens if you remain open to the possibilities? When you view the world from a perspective of unlimited potential, your attitude will shift. So will the way you engage your employees, customers, friends and family; everyone you come into contact with. You will project an image of abundance, and your drive and hope will inspire those around you. You will become a motivating force in a climate of openness and courage, a climate that gives back to you just as much, if not more, than what you gave to create it.

When we ae open to possibilities, we see further and more inclined to take risks. Risks that may not always yield the results we want, but which create more paths towards our goals. You are only a failure if you stop trying. Because opportunities for success are limitless - when one does not pay off the way you imagines, there is always the next, and the next. One of them will be the one to catapult you forward, and it could just be the next one.

Being open means that you have to stand confident in the realm of possibilities - no matter the competition and no matter you fear. If you entire focus is on what your competitors are doing, your attitude will be passed on to your employees, and, ultimately, your clients. But if you focus on what you do best and how to better satisfy your clients and engage with them in new and powerful ways, your results will be quite different!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Crystallize Your Roadmap for Success

Yes we all want to be successful, and we're all potential winners. So why are successful people still in the minority? That's because most of us don't have a clear roadmap to guide us towards personal success.

You want success, but do you understand why you want it? What does success mean to you? How will success, as you define it, benefit you and those around you? Only when you get into the nitty-gritty will the path towards success become clearer.

Success is the end result, that one big goal, but before we can get there, we need to break that one big goal down into smaller and closer goals and plans that will help us achieve those goals. What are manageable tasks you can do each day that will bring you closer to your success? Come up with a daily list. Checking off your list gives you a sense of achievement and keeps you motivated. And don't be downtrodden if you fail to achieve a goal. As someone once said, "Its not a tragedy not to achieve a goal; it's a tragedy not to have that goal to achieve in the first place."

Before you can achieve your goal, you need to have the belief that you deserve to have what you are going for! Whether it's monetary or otherwise - you deserve it. And understand the reasons for those goals; knowing why your goals exist makes you want them even more, you'll need this desire.

Next you need a plan of action. Detail exactly how your objectives will be met. And reward yourself when you achieve a certain goal. This will motivate you towards your next goal. If star footballers weren't paid obscene amounts of money for the goals they score, they'd find it that much harder to perform in the next match.

Keep re-evaluating your goals. Just because your objective is valid today doesn't mean it will remain relevant tomorrow. Assess your circumstances and tweak accordingly. You may even add new goals. Think of this as planting more seeds for greater chances of success.

And don't make the mistake of thinking that you should achieve success all by yourself. There are many resources you could use to keep yourself on the right track - you can read more self-improvement books, attend seminars, collaborate with a partner, or even get yourself a coach or a mentor. How you go about it is up to you. Remember as long as you keep learning you will keep achieving. And even if your final goal isn't reached, the process of learning and achieving itself is a definition of success.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Creating a Life of Abundance

The Chinese New Year is near, and many of the traditional greetings that will be uttered and sent via email and SMS will have something to do with abundance. Prosperity, for example, is an abundance of monetary wealth. And when it comes to money, most people believe that you must work longer, harder, or be luckier than the next person if you are to ever achieve any type of financial security. It is a common belief that "money is hard to come by," or money doesn't grow on trees."

Well, although I have never seen a money tree, the concept of wealth creation can be much easier than most realize, or can imagine. Obviously though, money isn't the only aspect of living an abundant life. Abundance also includes good health, joy, love, satisfaction, and continuously working towards being all you can be.

To make matters simpler, there are actually 3 areas that determine a true sense of fulfillment, which must be balanced if you are to truly experience and enjoy life to the fullest.

These 3 key areas are Money, Health and Relationships.

If you had $30 million but your health was such that you couldn't get out of the house to enjoy it, it would have little value. If you had the same amount of money and great health but no one to share it with, life would be quickly become empty and meaningless.

By the same token, if you were absolutely broke, but enjoyed health relationships and outstanding health, it would be impossible to experience and fully enjoy those things that money can buy, which would allow you to do for yourself and those you love, whatever you would like.

With respect to money, it has been estimated that if the worlds wealth were divided amount the people of the world equally, there would be enough for every single person alive, children included, to live in a 3000 square foot home and have $7 million in cash! So why is it that some seem to have it all, while others scrape by from day to day just to pay the bills and keep food on the table?

Well, negative geopolitical factors aside, the answer is thoughts and emotions. These two incredibly powerful aspects of your life are what determine what you have or don't have. These two seemingly simple aspects of mind are the difference between living a life of overflowing abundance or barely getting by. This is because our thoughts and emotions form our beliefs. These beliefs are established, for the most part, when we are just young children and are based on the experiences of our parents, and what they were taught and came to believe as truth in their life.

Before we can create a life of abundance, we have to understand that three key areas contribute to its development - money, health and relationships. And when it comes to money, it's our thoughts and emotions that determine if we are financially secure or not. Our thoughts and emotions feed our beliefs and our beliefs are what drive our lives.

Many people believe that the occurrences that happen in their day to day lives happen because that is "Just the way life is". what many fail to realize is that the reason these things happen as they do is because that is what they are attracting themselves through their belief system.

Take for instance Roger Bannister, the man who broke the all time record of running a 4 minute mile, on May 6th 1954. Until the time he accomplished that incredible feat, it was believed to be impossible, and beyond human ability to do so. That is until Roger Bannister came along, who broke the previous world record, and finished in an amazing 3 minutes 59.4 seconds! Once it was found that such a thing actually could be accomplished, that record has since been broken many times! Once people actually believed that it was possible, it became much more so!

Look at your own life. What self limiting beliefs have you allowed to hold you back from accomplishing your most sought after dreams and deepest desires? What unfulfilled dreams are you hesitating to act on because the world says that it's impossible?

You don't have to be a track start to create whatever it is that you desire in your life. You don't have to be someone else to achieve whatever you desire and enjoy more abundance in your life than you previously imagined. You don't have to be anything other than yourself.

So what is the secret of abundance?

There isn't one.

All that is necessary to attract all the abundance you could ever hope for, is for you to shed the self limiting beliefs that you have allowed to stored as your truth. All that is required is that you develope an awareness of the overflowing abundance and unlimited potential given to you.

You have the power to choose.

Change your beliefs and you can change your life.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Accepting Compliments

How do you respond when someone says to you - "That's a nice shirt!", "I really liked that presentation you did!", "Your website is so well done!", or "Nice haircut!"?

Do you usually view the compliment with suspicion or disbelief? Are you usually dismissive - "No, this old thing? I only wear it because it's comfy" or "No, I thought I was really nervous!"

Many people are uncomfortable with praise and compliments. We can be so busy judging ourselves harshly that we don't quite know what to do with positive feedback. We almost wish people would just "come out and say it," "it" being the negative thing that they're REALLY thinking, just to prove our negative self-perception.

What we should be doing though is learning to embrace positive feedback and accept compliments graciously. By doing this, we open up the door for more positive thoughts and interactions, and we actually start to believe them.

Here are some steps towards accepting compliments graciously.

1. Notice. Begin by noticing what you tend to say when someone gives you a compliment. Do you minimize it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing"? Do you challenge it by saying, "No, I don't look good, I look awful!" or do you find yourself so uncomfortable that you're at a complete loss for words?

2. Practice. You can learn to accept compliments more graciously. After noticing what you tend to do now, decide how you'd like to respond the next time you receive a compliment. Then, practice saying your new response until saying it feels natural and sincere. A warm and heartfelt, "thank you" coupled with a smile is always appropriate and is usually enough. Be cautious of feeling the need to explain, justify, or return a compliment automatically.

3. Focus on the person who's giving you the compliment. Expect the best and act on the assumption that the person is sincere. Focus on being kind and courteous to that person. If you make them feel good by accepting their compliment with genuine appreciation, they'll remember that and speak up the next time they have something positive to share with you.

4. Try it from the other side. Another way to get better at accepting compliments is to give more compliments. Notice how other people receive them. This can improve your relationships greatly, because now you'll be focused more on the other person. As you're looking for positive things to compliment them on, you'll also be keeping your thoughs more positive overall, and you'll have less time for worrying and negative thinking.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Vibrating With the Right Frequency

A man is known by the company he keeps. We have heard that phrase so many times. Our folks have cautioned us often with that in our childhood. Do we need to heed that advice in our business? Where do you hang out? Who do you hang out with? What is your business surrounded by?

Christian Huygens ("hye gurns") was a scientific genius of the early 17th century. He discovered a law of resonance, which was well accepted in physics later and is now being applied to brain science.

The story goes that Huygens kept a few pendulum clocks on the wall of his room. Each clock swung independently. He discovered that after a few cycles of independent swinging, all the clocks started swinging precisely in a synchronized rhythm.

He deduced that waves from clocks produced vibrations in the wall which in response produced waves that synchronized the rhythm of all the clocks.

Scientists are now studying if this same phenomenon occurs in human brain waves.

Have you ever noticed that successful people are surrounded by similarly successful ones? Is it mere coincidence that when like-minded people are at work, success is more likely?

In applying this theory to your life, you can attract success by surrounding yourself with tpoeple who are successful or have faith that great things are possible. Similarly, avoid the naysayers and complainers. They give out negative vibrations that could impact your own thoughts and behaviour.

Your mind reacts to them like walls did to the clocks and produces similar waves. Before you realize it, you would already have lost faith in your dream.

Your mind is the powerhouse of ideas which will make your business a success. Your mind is the source of your strenth that enables you to carry the burden in difficult times. Feed your mind the good food. Avoid stuffing it with junk food.

So reset your clocks. It's time to vibrate with the right frequency.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

End Procrastination

Don't under-estimate the power of putting things off.

Procrastination is a timebomb. It's a snowball that will eventually turn into an avalanche.

It all seems fairly harmless - "I'll start my exercise routine tomorrow", "I'll work on that project next week", "I'll get my health insurance next month", "I'll back-up my data later". But it soon becomes a habit, a lazy attitude towards improving your life.

Before you know it, you've become unfit and unhealthy, with several big deadlines looming, you're saddled with an illness which requires expensive treatment, and your computer with all your important work has crashed.

Make no mistake, procrastination is disease that will eat into your life, dampening your ambition and desire for success.

End procrastination today with these simple steps...

First of all, the all-too-obvious but most crucial tip - do it now! In order to break the habit of procrastination, replace it with an attitude of urgency. Practising working on whatever comes your way; prioritise your tasks of course, but keep ticking off your To-Do checklist one by one. Make steady progress. I promise you the sense of achievement and freedom that comes from completing your tasks will be so addictive, you won't be able to stop.

Try it today - whatever comes your way, a project, an email, an errand, a customer request, consider whether it's important or not, then work on them, one by one. You'll become more efficient in no time, not to mention you'll be relieved at the amount of work you got done. All this efficiency I'm sure will not go unnoticed by your supervisors and colleagues!

When attempting to end procrastination, it also helps to break down the bigger tasks into smaller, more manageable jobs. Don't let big projects overwhelm you; take it one step at a time. As long as you're making steady progress, you shouldn't be worried.

And ask for help! You know sometimes we make the mistake of assuming we have to do everything ourselves. Your reasons may be to save money, to be self-reliant, to make sure everything goes your way and so on, but contracting some work out could actually make more sense in the long term. Or get friends or family members to help out!

End procrastination today!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Making Changes Happen

Everywhere you go, you hear people talk about the changes they want to make in their lives.

"I want to lose weight."

"I want a better job."

"I want to make more money."

"I want to make a film."

"I want to write a book."

Maybe for you, it's to travel around the world, to get higher education, or improving a current relationship. We all have goals and changes we want to make and we talk a lot about wanting them, but how many of us really do something?

Sometimes, the talking turns into complaining. Because we accumulate so many wants, but never go about resolving them, we begin to feel dissatisfied. We start to make up excuses why success is not possible. Is it time? Is it money? It's family then, isn't it? We begin to blame other people, we blame events, we blame bad luck, and sometimes we blame ourselves. At the end of the day, this builds up into a massive store of regret.

Besides, these reasons are mostly inventions of fear and laziness. If you look at your excuses critically, how many of them are genuine? People who feel stuck are always saying "I can't afford an hour's workout a day!", or "I'm too forgetful!", or "I'm not a business person!". Basically, this is an admission of one's lack of control over one's life.

If someone gave you a million dollars to run on a the treadmill for 20 minutes a day, could you do it? How great is your desire to have a better physique? How much is that worth? Very often, it's not because we can't, it's because we haven't found the motivation.

With the right motivation (and it doesn't have to be money), you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behaviour. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the reasons why you can't make changes happen. Nothing defines you except you yourself. Do you really need the extra cup of coffee? Or that extra mug of beer? What about your quota of three cigarettes a day? Or that new mobile phone? What's really stopping you from being more loving to your partner? Is the romance really fading? Or are you giving more priority to other areas?

Take back your own power and decide to get into action to achieve the results you want.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Anticipating Success

Are you affected by what happens to you? Or do you affect what happens to you? Which would you prefer?

In The Art of Possibility, authors Rosamund and Benjamin Zander remind us of our tremendous ability to attract what we want in our lives by being purposeful.

After 25 years of teaching, Ben Zander observed that students would be in such a chronic state of anxiety over the measurement of their performance that they would be reluctant to take risks with their playing. announced at the beginning of the semester that each student in the class would be getting an A for the course. However, they were asked to fulfill one requirement to earn this grade. Sometime during the next two weeks, each student was to write him a letter post-dated by a year, which began with the words, "Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because...". In the letter they were to tell a detailed story of what would have happened to them within a year that was in line with them receiving an A in his class.

In other words, Zander asked the students to place themselves in the future, looking back, and to report on all the insights they acquired and milestones they attained during the school year, as if those accomplishments were already in the past.

Zander tells us that “the A is an invention that creates possibility for both mentor and student, manager and employee, or for any human interaction. The practice of giving an A allows the teacher to line up with her students in their efforts to produce the outcome, rather than lining up with the standards against these students. In this way, the instructor and the student, or the manager and the employee, become a team for accomplishing the extraordinary.

Zander reminds us that “It is dangerous to have our musicians so obsessed with competition because they will find it difficult to take the necessary risks with themselves to be great performers. The art of music, since it can only be conveyed through its interpreters, depends on expressive performance for its lifeblood. Yet it is only when we make mistakes in performance that we can really begin to notice what needs attention.” You don’t have to be a musician to appreciate the value of his wisdom.

So write yourself a letter, dating it a year from now. Project yourself into the future as you write a letter about all the insights you will have acquired and the milestones you will have attained during the year, as if your accomplishments for the next twelve months were already in the past. Chances are you’ll be able to reach your goals more effectively.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Quit Complaining

Life won't go your way all the time. In fact, we're in a constant state of flux between good and, for lack of a better word, "bad" times.

This state of flux is designed to help us grow into the kind of human beings we can be, to help us understand how we fit into the larger scheme of things, and to prevent our minds and bodies from declining in a state of inertia.

Economic cycles for example, with their booms and downturns, are remarkably consistent, even with our ostensible understanding of the financial markets. Recessionary times, like other "bad" times are a fact of life. They can be unpleasant and disappointing, and for many of us these days, utterly crushing, but they are an essential part of life.

Without them, we would become complacent and slothful, success and love wouldn't fill our hearts with as much joy, and there would be no push towards improving ourselves.

However, when circumstances take twists and turns we can't predict, we often feel discouraged. And we feel an urge to complain. Some people feel it's a right. The so-called logic is 'If the world is treating me unkindly, why shouldn't I make some noise about it?"

Well, the "noise" may release some tension initially, but complaining doesn't solve anything. besides, it produces a negative mindset. It forces us to unwittingly dwell on what's wrong in our lives instead of focusing on what we can change or do to make things right. When complaining becomes a part of you, you're inviting a lot of negative energy into your life.

When something goes differently than we had planned or when something that's difficult pops up unexpectedly, we should allow ourselves to feel the confusion, anger, or whatever other emotion comes along as a result.

But once you have vented, prevent yourself from dwelling on the thing that caused the negative emotion. Quit complaining. When you complain, you tell several people over and over about what went wrong. Your mind is focused on the horrible thing. You bring others down by your complaining. And you bring yourself down.

So after venting, allow yourself to pick up the pieces and see where you can go from where you are. What can you do to make things better? How can you respond so that meeting your main priority is still your focus? Think about things that have gone right in your life. Appreciate what you have been able to achieve so far.

So if life is dealing you all the wrong cards at the moment, go ahead and vent, but quite complaining. You will be in a much better position to handle things the next time they don't go your way. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation for life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Believe in Yourself

To achieve any goal in life, you must first believe that you are going to be successful. This conviction gives you the strength and resilience needed to achieve your objective. It also helps you to actively seek and recognise opportunities and stepping stones.

So how can you develop a powerful sense of self-belief?

Before you begin any endeavour, you should be confident that the end result is possible. Don't focus on whether it's been done before or not. Don't listen to others who might be feeding you with negative thoughts. Be clear in your own mind that the goal can be achieved.

More crucially, believe that the end result is possible by you. We often hold limiting beliefs about our own ability to achieve goals. We may believe the goal is possible, but often don't think it's possible for us to achieve it. So identify those beliefs that are holding you back and take time to address them.

Now that you know you can achieve your objective, how much do you want it? The more we want to achieve a goal, the bigger the hurdles we'll jump over to get there. So choose a goal you really want; take the time to ask yourself why you want it and how badly you want it. What are the values underlying that goal? Is it desire to help people? A yearning to be your own boss? Or is it to do something that allows you to spend more time with your children?

Next you have to believe that you deserve the end result. Hidden under the surface in many people is a belief that they do not deserve to succeed. Because of some deep-rooted experience that caused their self-esteem to decline, these people often choose to remain where they are, or even slide, because they feel that they are not worthy of success and happiness. When they try to take action, this belief restricts them, they lose motivation, and fall. But always emember that if you work consistently toward your goal, you deserve all the success you get.

Also, achieveing your goal should not contradict any other beliefs or values you have. For example, if you believe strongly that rich people are greedy, you'll probably not be motivated enough to build a successful business. Try aligning your goals with your values. An entrepreneur perhaps could work towards making a lot of money so that he can use part of that money to help the needy.

Believing in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals is the first step towards building a better future for yourself.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Be A Great Oak Tree

We live in an age of great haste and agitation. People today feel compelled to achieve as many goals as possible in the shortest possible time. Gradual cultivation has given way to rapid absorption; we cram our minds and bodies with things to do, things to learn, things to buy, things to help us reach our full potential.

Children today are made to attain often ludicrous standards. Understandably, parents want their kids to achieve the very best in life, but are they meant to develop with such speed? Might not something crucial be lost in the hurry? Are we erecting a lofty tower on shaky foundations?

J. R. R. Tolkien's epic work "The Lord of the Rings" literally took a lifetime to bring to fruition, but it probably stands as the greatest fantasy work of all time. Its accomplishment is not in its length or plot, but in its ability to make a make-believe world feel authentic because of its elaborate history and meticulously wrought web of intricate themes.

Clearly, an entity of enduring power and quality requires time to fashion. Human beings are the same. A colleague recently shared the following with me.

Be a great oak tree. Dig your roots deep into the ground, instead of sending your trunk and branches ever towards the clouds. Then, nothing can topple you.

Know who you are, what you want. And not what others want or want to see. These words echo in me. Words from a friend I sought refuge in when my soul was battered from the storm. Those were the days when I worked to own - yearning for recognition.

But despite having been successful in all I have aimed to attain, a void still remained. One day, my little cousin came up to me and asked, "Who are you?"

I mentioned my name.

"No," he said. "Who are you?"

I repeated myself. But again I got a dissatisfied look.

"I am happy," he said. "Who are you?"

It then dawned upon me that he wanted an adjective. I paused and pondered. I have. But I am? What I own can be lost.

WRITTEN BY MELISSA TAN