Active Focusing

You attract what you focus on.

This principle works by charting a new direction for your mind.

You begin to see improvement, more opportunities and have more enriching and blissful experiences simply because you choose to look out for them.

Where previously you tended to expect negative things, now you are more confident and optimistic. When you actively focus on good things, your mind propels your entire being to search for them.

If you want more beauty in your life, for instance... you then actively seek out whatever is beautiful to you, focus on it, take it in and give thanks for it.

Notice the next picture you come across, the next person, the next line in a book, how the puddles glisten in the sun after the rain and bless the beauty inspires in you.

What about good ideas? Kind acts? Could you choose to focus on the positive qualities in life and bless them as well?

You will find that the more you do this, the more good things will be revealed to you and seem to "magically" come your way. There's no magic here though... you are seeing them more often because you are seeking them out more often. You are choosing to pay attention to the things you used to overlook and ignore. And it's natural also for other people to give you more good things because you seem to appreciate them more!

Unhappy, discontented people typically choose to do the opposite. They think poorly of themselves and do not expect to achieve more success. They anticipate disappointment and failure. It's no surprise that they are consistently disappointed!

An unhappy, unfulfilled person also tends to see a good thing and be envious of it, coveting it, bitter with his inability to own it.

If you choose to actively focus on positive things though, you will see a good thing and celebrate it. You will want to get to know it, understand it, learn from it and see how you can emulate its strengths. You will be nourished by it instead of being threatened by its brilliance.

When choosing to focus actively on the positive though, it's crucial to understand that though it involves a seemingly straight-forward switch in mindset, it's not something that happens overnight or is turned on like a light.

Many people are disappointed that they don't get instant results or are put off by the pomposity of affirmations like "I am confident!", "I am successful!", "I am beautiful!" and so on.

So go easy with it. Say "I'm getting more confident", "I'm increasing my chances for success", "I'm beginning to see more beauty in me".

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Dealing With Aging

Humankind has always been obsessed with living longer, even forever, with stories of kings commissioning the Elixir of Life, and countless anti-aging treatments, herbal remedies and cures.

And there're medical experts who believe that the causes of aging have cures; they simply haven't been found yet.

Well, who can blame us? Given a choice, we'd all want to stay youthful forever. Impossible... but that's not going to stop us.

The good news is... gerontologists do claim that 70 percent of the aging process is controllable with the right lifestyle choices. The traditional aging process that our society has adopted unnecessarily relegates middle-aged people to early decline.

Aging is inevitable but getting old is strictly an option. You don't have to buy into society's model for how people age. Take charge of your life and refuse to shrink into the typical fossilised old age we've come to accept as normal.

Observe old people. What is it about their "oldness" you would like to avoid? How strong and flexible are you, mentally and physically?

Keep and improve what you can, while you can! You know, youth makes us arrogant.

Everyday we look into the mirror and see a seemingly unchanging image. We like what we see, so we do nothing. By the time we start worrying, it might be too late.

Also, plan your financial future. Health is paramount, but wealth helps a great deal.

And avoid the ultimate social disease. It's called retirement. Once you internalise that you are no longer productive, that you no longer have goals, decline sets in very quickly.

Everything slows - movement, reaction time, thinking, walking, talking.

The mind and body go into a shutdown mode in preparation for the final event - death. So, even if you stop working, continue contributing and being useful. Re-wire your life to embrace new activities and ambitions.

Immortality might still a pipe dream or a nightmare, depending on how you look at it but it's in our best interest to try to stay young and productive for as long as we can.

Reach out and savour the best of life!

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Dealing With Criticism At the Workplace

Nobody likes to be told off. Not really. Some people appear to take it very well, but that doesn't meant they enjoy it. No, criticism is tough, especially if it comes from someone you are not close to or necessarily respect.

At the workplace particularly, we can find ourselves in the firing line.

Whether it's our supervisor, a co-worker or a business associate, there will times when someone will disagree with some aspect of you or your work and express that view, sometimes not in the most pleasant of terms.

So what do we do? Do we counter attack? Do we defend ourselves vigorously? Or do we let it slide?

Well, first of all, consider if the disapproval is worth reaching to.

People often say things without thinking, sometimes to distract others from their own shrinking egos.

If you think the remark warrants some self-defense, then do so briefly and calmly. Sometimes, an attack is launched simply to provoke an emotionally charged reaction that may work against you. Generally though, don't take these jibes personally - you are not in a soap opera, you are not in primary school.

Criticism is a fact of life and as mature adults, we should take it sensibly and in our stride.

Next, remove the messenger from the picture and consider the criticism objectively.

Is there a modicum of truth in it? Sometimes, it takes an external party to zero in on that microscopic clot that may one day turn into a stroke. So be thankful that someone has pointed it out. In fact, actually thank the person who made the criticism. This shows that whatever sinister ploy to hurt you has failed and that you are sensible and mature person who can admit his own weaknesses and take steps to improve himself.

And do take the opportunity to improve yourself. Become all the better and stronger for it.

You know, not all criticism is meant to bring you down... sometimes, the aim is genuine problem-resolution. Sometimes, the other person is simply taking an objective stand.

Sometimes, he really has your interests at heart, but just doesn't employ the most tactful delivery. It's really in your benefit to be grateful that someone cared enough to let you know where you are going wrong or what you need to work on.

If you do think the criticism warrants a response though, then do so decisively.

Don't sweep it under the carpet or ignore the big elephant in the room.

Misunderstanding or not, a mature face-to-face talk will clear the air and help diffuse tensions.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Humour for Happiness

What is this thing called humour?

We understand laughter well enough. And we know when we find something funny.

But what makes something amusing? What do we mean when we say someone has a good sense of humour? And how can we use humour during tough times as instant pick-me-ups?

Besides feeling good, humour can be a powerful motivating tool. We may not be able to laugh our way through adversity, but a sense of humour can lessen anxiety, alleviate tensions and help us adapt when stressful changes occur.

Besides, laughter contributes to good health, which you probably know by now.

You could think of humour as a way of existing in, interacting with and perceiving the world. It immediately lightens the mood and gives you a fresh view.

Having a sense of humour is being able to take the Mickey out of Stressful people, demanding situations and the ugly side of life. It is the ability to nimbly sidestep potential flashpoints. It's about disarming, then surprising. It's a weapon of the underdog.

Job stress is something many of us face. Just remember that when it comes to work, you are not your job.

No doubt you should take your work seriously, but your job is what you do. It's not who you are. Never let your job become your life.

A good and simple way to develop a sense of humour is to collect and remember things you find funny. Jokes that comes to you via email, a humourous quote you come across in a magazine, a mis-spelt word on a sign, a comic strip or even a photo that cracks you up.

Look for the ironic and satirical in people and in events. Turn in person who annoys you at work in a comedian. Then it's comic relief each time he or she tries to frustrate you.

I say collect "things", but you know, people can be funny.

Make friends who tend to make you laugh! Try to laugh as much as you can everyday. Make others laugh too. Humour is never having to apologise even you are being corny.

Make your environment filled with fun and laughter.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Accepting Terms of Life

It's been said that in order to live a peaceful life, one must learn to accept the things one cannot change.

Many of us continue to struggle because we choose to challenge these truths or simply are not aware of them.

One of these immutable terms of Life is that you cannot make everyone life you. People will not accept you for who you are due to whatever reason and there is usually nothing you can do about it.

Often, the reason is unknowable, influence by an endless number of factors and probably doesn't even have anything to do with you per se.

Don't take these people's words or behaviour personally. Just be true to yourself.

Another of Life's truths that we have to understand is how the world is a reflection of us. To actuate any positive change in the world, we must first positively change ourself.

If we consistently bemoan the state of our life and complain about every little thing, our world is likely to seem miserable and pointless.

But if we adopt a positive attitude and see every experience as a teacher, we will find the world rich, wondrous and full of new knowledge.

Similarly, if you are friendly and helpful towards others, they are more likely to respond to you in a similar way. Reacting towards violence with violence will only escalate the hostility.

Then there is the perennial spectre of suffering, misfortune and calamity. No matter how much happiness, comfort or success you manage to achieve in your life or for your loved one, you will always hear about people dying in wars, perishing in earthquakes and floods or beaten down by a bad economy.

To our eyes, Life will always appear unjust and unfair.

People we love will pass away and misfortune may strike us even if we are the most loving, good and kind people we know.

We can only do what we can and trust that there is a higher consciousness that moves this world the way it does.

Also inevitable in Life is change.

Many of us prefer our boats not to be rocked, but change need not be bad. It can seem disorienting, frustrating, even painful. But change leads to unforeseen benefits. Trust in change and go with the flow. Learn what you can from the experience and make the most of what results from the change.

And those are some of Life's terms that we have to accept if we want to maintain peace of mind.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Making Good Memories

Nothing in life is constant. Changes occur at every moment.

Things happen to us, wonderful or painful.

People enter and leave our lives - some strangers, some casual acquaintances and a few of them leave indelible impressions on our hearts.

Most of these people we will not be able to hold on to. Memories of them, however, stay with us our entire lives, lying dusty and dear in the attic of our hearts.

Each moment presents an opportunity for us to take a mental and emotional photograph that we can store in our minds and hearts. If we lives our lives consistently taking photographs filled with negative feelings, we'll end up with an album full of unhappy images.

The memories we choose to make today can either summon a swell of regret or s surge of sweet nostalgia tomorrow.

It's therefore crucial to remind ourselves always to make good memories.

Our loved ones are simply on loan to us. They can be taken from us at any time.

Think of the last time you were with a friend or a loved one. Was it memorable?

Do you still remember the little details? Did you make an effort to capture a good memory? Or did some trifle or personal agenda get in the way?

Maybe you were too busy with something else to really listen to them.

Perhaps you were so concerned with getting your own thing done that you slightly resented that they needed your help.

Maybe you thought there would be another chance to show them that you love and care for them. Perhaps you were embarrassed that there were other people around.

Maybe you were too tired to smile, too lazy to say a nice thing or too busy with your work to make the moment special.

Memories are the only things we accumulate and keep throughout our lives.

Isn't it worthwhile to make an effort to consciously make good ones?

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd