Resolving Relationship Conflicts

What blocks you from resolving conflicts with your partner?

A lasting and rewarding relationship has to be open and honest. And to keep it that way, you have to be able to air grievances with your partner. Burying issues, and avoiding conflict and disagreements, do not have a place in a healthy relationship. You might as well accept the fact that you WILL get on each other's nerves. You will disagree from time to time. Learn how to argue in a constructive manner to resolve the issue at hand and not tear each other apart personally.

Here are some recommended steps for resolving conflict.

First of all, agree to reach a solution. Many of us either choose to attack our partner or run away from the argument, neither of which helps. Always remember that you and your partner are in the same team - both of you want what's best for the relationship. Sometimes, in the heat of argument, we forget that.

Also, explore your feelings. Why are you so upset? Examine your reaction to the event and see if you are responding to the present situation or reliving a past hurtful event. See if this issue is really about you and your partner or you and someone from your past.

Next, identify what you want. Speak up. See what you and your partner can work out for a mutually satisfying resolution. Your partner cannot give what you want if you don't have the courage to ask for it. Remember, you are in love with each other. You want to feel good, your partner wants to feel good, and you both have the same wish for each other. Keep that in mind as you express your desires.

And choose mutual action. A relationship is a partnership, a joint effort. If one person ends up being responsible for making the union work on every level, resentment will build up. Work out fair resolutions.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd