Effective Goal-Setting & Realisation

We often hear people talk about goal-setting and why it's important.

Less commonly-discussed though is how to effectively set your goals and how you can actually achieve them.

Most of us are hindered by the Big P - Procrastination.

Yes we know what we want but we think, "I guess that can wait till tomorrow". Which becomes "next week", "next month", "next year" and eventually... "never".

Many people also find themselves encumbered by fear, self-doubt or plain laziness and so put up all sorts of imaginary barriers like perceived impossibility of the dream becoming reality, lack of time or money, lack of ability, the absence of opportunities.

You know we can be very creative when it comes to finding excuses why we can't.

This is because although we do have goals, we don't have compelling reasons or motivations to make them happen. We're just now that excited about them.

Let's say one of your goals is to double your income or to cultivate a steady side income. Sure, you want more money, but why do you want it? Many people have very general or superficial reasons like "so I can buy more things" or "so I can be financially free".

You see, to make your goals exciting enough for you to actually manifest them, you've got to get down to the nitty-gritty and what's really important to you.

How exactly will the extra money improve your life? Perhaps it's so you can give your loved ones a better life - a nicer home, better insurance cover, treat them to an expensive holiday every year maybe.

Is it to invest in real estate or stocks so you can scale down your workload and still have a healthy income? Or perhaps you envision opening a small business you're passionate about that you can run in your later years?

Once your motivations are solid enough, you'll naturally want to take action to achieve your goals. But does the task seem too daunting? Well, start by finding out how exactly you're going to get to where you want to go. You've got to do the math, the research, get the practical know-how. If you've got an idea for that killer app that everyone will want to buy, then you've got to first learn how to actually create one.

Once you get into it, you'll find that it wasn't as complicated as you thought.

Like completing a marathon, if the length of the race already makes you weak at the knees, then break it down and just focus on the first few kilometers,

Get through them, then aim for the next leg.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Humour for Happiness

What is this thing called humour?

We understand laughter well enough. And we know when we find something funny.

But what makes something amusing? What do we mean when we say someone has a good sense of humour? And how can we use humour during tough times as instant pick-me-ups?

Besides feeling good, humour can be a powerful motivating tool. We may not be able to laugh our way through adversity, but a sense of humour can lessen anxiety, alleviate tensions and help us adapt when stressful changes occur.

Besides, laughter contributes to good health, which you probably know by now.

You could think of humour as a way of existing in, interacting with and perceiving the world. It immediately lightens the mood and gives you a fresh view.

Having a sense of humour is being able to take the Mickey out of Stressful people, demanding situations and the ugly side of life. It is the ability to nimbly sidestep potential flashpoints. It's about disarming, then surprising. It's a weapon of the underdog.

Job stress is something many of us face. Just remember that when it comes to work, you are not your job.

No doubt you should take your work seriously, but your job is what you do. It's not who you are. Never let your job become your life.

A good and simple way to develop a sense of humour is to collect and remember things you find funny. Jokes that comes to you via email, a humourous quote you come across in a magazine, a mis-spelt word on a sign, a comic strip or even a photo that cracks you up.

Look for the ironic and satirical in people and in events. Turn in person who annoys you at work in a comedian. Then it's comic relief each time he or she tries to frustrate you.

I say collect "things", but you know, people can be funny.

Make friends who tend to make you laugh! Try to laugh as much as you can everyday. Make others laugh too. Humour is never having to apologise even you are being corny.

Make your environment filled with fun and laughter.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Self-fulfilling Prophecy

You have probably heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy. a key psychological concept, it's basically a perception or mindset that causes itself to become true due to actions or behaviour motivated by that very perception.

It was sociologist Robert K. Merton coined the term in his book Social Theory and Social Structure, Merton gives as an example of the self-fulfilling prophecy - when Roxanna falsely believes that her marriage will fail and fears such failure will occur that it actually causes the marriage to fail.

Similarly, we can affect our reality through the way we perceive it. If you think, I'm going to have lousy day," you are likely to alter your actions so that your prediction is fulfilled by your actions. You might, for instance (in reflection of your ominous mood), dress shabbily, dawdle through breakfast, miss your train as a result, then rush into the office, knocking into your boss and upsetting his coffee. I will leave it to you to storyboard the rest of the day. Probably not pretty, methinks.

How others perceive us is also strongly influenced by how we perceive ourselves. For example, when people congratulate or compliment you, do you respond "Oh it was nothing" or "This old thing?" Whether it's low self-esteem or Confucian humility at work here, you are not doing yourself any favours. Say it often enough and people will start believing that you do "nothing" and wear "old things".

There is no need for verbal fanfare; when people compliment you, just a simple "thank you" will do.

Stop downplaying your skills. Respect and recognize your talents and achievements. If you believe you are worth that amount, then it's likely others will believe it too.

Even if you don't think you are worth it now, you have to believe that you can improve yourself to deserve that price tag in the future.

Positive self-talk is crucial in self-transformation. Replace uncertain terms like "maybe" and "I dont't know" with confident, self-assuring ones like "I can" and "I will".

The words you say to yourself and others, your thoughts and perceptions exert a profound effect on your behaviour and mood, and eventually your reality. Take care that you do not unintentionally fulfill a negative prophecy by thinking it into reality.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

The Benefits of Walking

What's one of the simplest and quickest ways to improve your overall wellness?

Walking!

Primitive tribes people went on regular walkabouts, when individuals headed off alone into the bush as a rite of passage. In the wilderness, their minds, bodies and spirits were tested and cleansed. Some even met their spiritual guides, or so the legends say.

These day though, walking has been reduced to an inconvenience. It's considered a milestone for toddlers, something that all infants naturally progress to, but grown-ups generally wish to do as little of it as possible. We'd much rather get around in cards, taxis, buses and bikes.

But walking is immensely beneficial for our physical and mental well-being. For years, this single act has been linked to improving cardiovascular health. The reason is because, generally, walking is a safe movement that isn't likely to cause injury. New studies have shown that walking is also a terrific way to improve your mood. The next time you are feeling a little blue, you could just walk it off - literally.

A recent study paired individuals into groups, one of which spent 30 minutes on a treadmill and the other that participated in 30 minutes of rest. Each group's progress was monitored throughout the treatment with a conclusion that both groups reported having less negative feelings at the end of the study, along with less stress and tension. The difference, however, was found when the group that spent 30 minutes walking also noted an overall improvement in well-being.

While the study further proves the theory that walking is good for mental health, as well as physical, it also lends credence to the theory that people who walk feel better overall. It also proves that an individual does not have to be outside in order to enjoy the benefits of walking. This simple exercise can be achieved with a treadmill or by simply walking in place while listening to music or watching TV.

Taking long walks also allows your mind to relax; the body goes into a spontaneous, comfortable rhythm, giving your thoughts a relaxed and unhurried climate in which to organise themselves. I've often come up with solutions and ideas while on a leisurely stroll.

So work a walking routine into your schedule. You will start feeling the benefits in no time!

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Remembering Names

We have all faced this problem - you bump into a familiar face, buy try as you might, you simply cannot remember his name. Oh the awkward moment, the blank look in your eyes, the eager smile on the other person's face.

Is this problem keeping you from networking successfully? Some of us admittedly have poorer memory skills for faces and names, but if it happens often enough, surely it's time to see if something can be done.

Now what's the most fundamental rule when it comes to remembering something?

Repetition.

But simply repeating the person's name after you have parted is not quite as effective as repeating it during the encounter. So when you are first introduced to someone, use their names several times when you talk to them. "Hi, Andy, nice to meet you. What do you do for a living, Andy? Do you have any kids, Andy? Andy, it was great to meet you!" Not all at one of course... but over the course of the conversation.

If you don't catch the name when it's originally told to you, don't be afraid to ask for it again. This is entirely acceptable as people understand that names may not get through clearly the first time. If it is a foreign or unfamiliar name, ask the person to spell it for you, just to be doubly sure. And say the name immediately after you have confirmed it.

Also, try linking the name with something that's related to the person - it could the mutual friend who introduced to you, a body feature or personality trait. Do they remind you of something that rhymes with their name? Can you make up a catchphrase or a story that uses the feature and the name? It doesn't matter if it is nonsensical; what is important is the strong association you will remember.

If your acquaintances are the namesakes of famous people, try associating them with those personalities. If you meet an "Andy", for example, you might imagine him with a tennis racquet poised for a strike and remember him as "Andy Murray".

Most of us don't give this much thought, but people instantly warm up and respect people who remember their names. It show you paid attention and goes a long way in successful networking.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Watching What We Say

We all understand keenly the power of information. The battle can be won simply because one side intercepted news of the enemy's intention. A rash email can become a source of deep embarassment, not to mention potential source of blackmail. A person's reputation can be ruined by rumour.

Of cource, most of the time, our talk is a positive attribute. It helps us make friends and helps others feel included in a group. But sometimes, we get so caught up in talking and "doing what comes naturally" that we forget to think before we open our mouths.

There is an adage that goes "The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid."

Here's something to think about the next time we feel the urge to talk about someone, or are in the presence of someone talking about someone else.

Do i know this to be the absolute truth? Am I adding embellishments of my own? How well-informed am I about this person or this situation? Am I qualified to make a judgement? Did I get this news from someone else? How reliable is that person? Is he or she consistently gossiping about others? Am I pointing out the flaws of others in order to distract people from my own? Would I want this news shared about me?

I know it's extremely difficult to hold our tongues - very often we think of it as "Just making conversation". But think about what your words are doing. Are you muddying the person's reputation just for a bit of "conversation"? What are your words doing to you? What are they doing to other people's perception of you?

The next time you're drawn into a conversation, watch what you say. What are you discussing? What impressions are you forming, intentionally or unintentionally? Are you preoccupied with the trivial pursuits, trials and defeats of other people instead of focusing on your own flaws and working on them to improve yourself?

What we say about other people also says volumes about the kind of person we are. As someone once wrote: "The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly."

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Worrying Less

Worry is such a loathsome thing. You know you'd be able to save more time and energy and achieve more without it, but sometimes it simply refuses to leave you alone.

Most of us will probably not be able to eradicate worry from our lives, but here are some ways you can worry less and accomplish more:

Don't think of problems as difficulties. think of them as opportunities for action.

After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go on to the next thing.

Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, sleep. Don't allow yourself time for your mind to wander.

There are things you cannot do anything about, so don't concern yourself with them.

Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now.

Don't pour woes and anxieties onto other people. Sympathy from others is very tempting and does feel good for a while, but eventually, it just makes you feel sorrier for yourself.

Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you would in actual accomplishment of the day's work.

Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry. Hurry shatters poise and self-confidence, and adds to fear and anxiety.

If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps like rungs on a ladder... one at a time. Don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one.

Worry is a very natural and spontaneous instinct, so don't be too hard on yourself if you fin yourself within its grip. Just make sure you take some measures you help you see things in a calmer, clearer and more productive way.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Getting A Grip On Reality

Our worries and anxieties can sometimes overwhelm us. When this happens, some of us cannot seem to enjoy anything; we're too fearful of what's to come. Some of us cannot seem to relax or sleep. Some of us even suffer panic attacks, where we feel we cannot breathe, that the worlds is collapsing around us, or in extreme cases, even harbour temporary thoughts of suicide.

When this happens; it's important for us to remind ourselves that our worries and anxieties are not reality. They are a distortion of reality, an illusion of exaggeration that we give wings in our mind. We imagine all the worst things that could happen, but these scenarios are not based on fact; they're not based on anything but our imagination.

So let us try to regain our grip on reality.

When you're starting to feel anxious about something, stop whatever you're doing and turn your attention to something else, preferably something soothing. Open the window, take a deep breath, admire the trees. Worries grow bigger by repetition and concentration; they like building upon themselves. So deny your worries that opportunity - switch your focus! Refuse to let yourself broad.

Another good way to alleviate your worries is to challenge them with rational thought. As I said before, worries are fancy concoctions of the mind, and when countered with objectivity and common sense, they often look rather silly.

So turn to the facts - how long is this detestable thing expected to last anyway? Is all of it going to be so bad? Might there be some enjoyable aspects you've overlooked? Is it possible this thing could be good for you in some way? Perhaps it's forcing you to do something you've been telling yourself to do but have just been terribly lazy about it?

Do your research, deconstruct the monster, and suddenly it's just made of Lego.

When you are having an anxiety attack, you may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming to you all at once. Instead of panicking, remember that these thoughts are not rooted in reality. They're fabrications! They in no way dictate what's really going to happen. Let the fear go.

Also, remember that worry ultimately doesn't change anything. It may turn you into a sulking, moaning, heaving wreak, but it doesn't have any other real power. Train yourself to shake its hand, tell it "Thank you very much, but you are of no use to me" and send it on its way.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

5 Habits of Extraordinary People

Most of us would never choose to be average. But many of us continue to under-perform and remain stagnant because we don't actively think about and do what would elevate us above mediocrity. So the first step really, is to emphatically reject mediocrity and the idea of "just getting by". Commit to developing these habits that extraordinary people share:

#1. Build a vision or focus. Where do you see yourself heading? What do you want to improve? do you want to own a business? Do you want to build a closer bond with your family members? Do you want to have a fitter body? Are you planning a dream retirement? Schedule activities everyday that help you along this path.

#2. Break out of your molds and routines. What do you say when people ask you questions to which you don't know or are unsure of the answers? Do you simply say "I don't know"? Successful people never say "I don't know". Their creative and quick-thinking minds reach into their mental stores to fashion a plausible answer, usually more than one. They may not be right all the time, but this trains their minds to think fast and develop creative, alternative solutions. Successful people like to think that there is always a way and that they will find it. These people disdain tried and tested methods and conforming to society's ideals of what they should be.

#3. Regularly take time to rest, unwind, and enjoy life and the gifts that have been given to them. They know when to take a step back or out of the circle to see the bigger picture. Mediocre people, or the other hand, are always telling you how busy they are, how they have no space to breathe and relax. In reality, these people are afraid to stop and examine where all this frantic comes from. This blur of "busyness" is a cover for a humdrum, run-of-the-mill, ordinary existence.

#4. Welcome and embrace change. Extraordinary people understand that change is necessary for growth and life and they look forward to it, even being part of the force that brings about change. They don't react to the world, the evolve dynamically with it. They love new experiences and thinking about how things could be made better.

#5. Believe that happiness comes from within themselves and not from outside sources. Extraordinary people don't believe that a certain thing or person will bring happiness, and they don't wait to be happy. They don't think "I'll be happy when...". They strive to find joy wherever they are.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd