The Secret to Working and Living Well With People

Entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash once said "Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, 'Make me feel important.'"

Mary certainly knew what she was talking about. That little secret to working well with people helped her grow Mary Kay Cosmetics into the largest direct seller of skin care and color cosmetics in the United States. Mary understood that in any relationship, whether it's a spouse, child, client, colleague or casual acquaintance, the best way to make a lasting impression is to take the time to make others feel genuinely valued.

Here are some ways you can make others feel more important.

Greet everyone you meet with enthusiasm. Have you ever called someone on the telephone - or met them somewhere -- and they greeted you with such energy and enthusiasm that you felt they must truly adore you? A greeting of ardent and genuine enthusiasm sets the tone for your entire encounter. It's such a simple skill (the hardest part is remembering to do it) but if you CAN remember, it will enliven all of your relationships. This skill can be particularly life-changing when practiced with your children. A simple show of enthusiasm and appreciation when a child walks in the room can have a miraculous effect on the relationship.

Slow down. Take the time in conversation to really listen. While someone is talking, focus on talking in what he or she saying in words, tone and body language instead of thinking about what you are going to say next. Relax and listen before responding. As you practice this form of deep listening, work on identifying the other person's needs. Put your own needs aside during the conversation and focus on determining what they need today. Savour the connection you can make with another person, even in a casual conversation.

Work on remembering the details of past conversations and encounters. Ask about the things they confided to you. How did her business presentation go? How is his ailing father? It's often helpful to make little notes to remind you to ask about something or someone next time you meet. This simple skill shows people that they are important to you.

Appreciate the small things that people do for you and never pass up an opportunity to say thank you. Find simple and small ways to show appreciation and caring to those you love.

When you make the people around you feel important, you create a climate of trust and mutual appreciation, which can change your life in ways large and small. Try it today.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd