Recovering from a Disastrous First Date

First dates. Most of us have experienced our fair share of less than favourable ones. In fact, some of them might even be described as "disastrous". Meeting a romantic prospect for the first time is a tricky endeavour, and if it doesn't go well, the effects could stay with you a long, long time. For some, the memory of disastrous first dates is enough to make them a nervous wreck on subsequent dates.

so what can you do to receover from a disastrous first date?

First and most crucial, forgive yourself. Most of us, when under stress, do things we wouldn't normally do. If you thought you talked too much, or not enough, if you laughed too much, overreacted to some statement, or done some incredibly unattractive thing, don't be too hard on yourself. We're often harder on ourselves than we would be on another person.

So show some compassion toward yourself. It's natural to feel nervous on a first date. And nobody gets everything right, not even people who are attractive, intelligent and confident. The only reason why these people seem to fare better than others is that they forgive themselves more readily, and get over awkward situations more easily.

Once you've learnt to forgive yourself for not performing as well as you would've liked on a first date, you can go on to forgive the other person. Yes, we may like to believe that we don't pre-judge or judge people superficially, but on some subconscious level, we all do. And that can very often spoil an otherwise great date. So do not expect the other person to live up to all your expectations. By taking for granted that first dates usually don't go well, you take a big step forward in emotional maturity. Unless the other person was abusive or rude, they deserve a second chance.

Now, if you did something awkward or that warrants an apology, follow up with a gift or flowers and a simple note of apology or explanation. Don't wirte off your chances simply because you think you did something out of line. Most people are more forgiving than you think, and besides, your willingness to try again might impress the other party.

And don't let experience affect your self-confidence. You have many good qualities, and just because this person didn't recognize them, that doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there who can. The most important thing is to be honest, be your authentic self. You deserve someone who will appreciate for who you really are.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd