Everyday we have unexpected events happen to us. We can plan down to the slightest detail and something can still come along and throw a major wrench into the machine. In the face of such uncertainty, how does one stay positive and focused?
Well, here are some steps that will help you keep your attitude at it's very best under all those circumstances that will be thrust upon your repeatedly.
First, learn to concentrate on the good. If there was a store that sold beliefs, what would you buy? How about getting the belief that everything that happens to you brings you closer to your desired success or goal? This belief would enable you to look for and find the good in every situation. Whether it's a lesson learned, experience gained or new contact made, if you can identify the good, your attitude will take a positive direction.
What is life if not learning? Life is made up of lessons, like it or not, and the sooner we understand this, the better. Whatever comes our way, if we miss the lesson, then it is truly a tragedy. But much like concentrating on the good, if you seek out the valuable lesson, then the upset or pitfall takes a completely new meaning. You will begin to realize that whatever the situation you are facing right now needed to be faced in order to learn the lesson. Now take that lesson and integrate it into your goals and plans for future success.
Next, we have to learn to concentrate on the solution. Wherever a difficulty presents itself, quickly concentrate on the solution rather than the focus on the problem. Rehashing, reliving and reflecting on the problem does nothing but eat away your positive attitude. Break the solution down into manageable steps, then take action. The moment you begin thinking and planning in terms of solutions, you become more positive and more constructive.
And focus on the future. You cannot change the past, so instead of worrying about whom did what whom and why so and so is to blame, focus on where you desire to be and how you can get there from here. Visualise your future - how you want it to be, how you want it to look. What are you feeling? What you seeing? What are you tasting? The more vibrant and authentic you imagine your future to be, the more likely you're able to manifest it.
Successful people know that a positive mental attitude is an indispensable tool. You too can be as positive and successful as you want to be if you will concentrate on the good, seek out the valuable lesson, focus on the solution and think about the future.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Making Changes Happen
Everywhere you go, you hear people talk about the changes they want to make in their lives.
"I want to lose weight."
"I want a better job."
"I want to make more money."
"I want to make a film."
"I want to write a book."
Maybe for you, it's to travel around the world, to get higher education, or improving a current relationship. We all have goals and changes we want to make and we talk a lot about wanting them, but how many of us really do something?
Sometimes, the talking turns into complaining. Because we accumulate so many wants, but never go about resolving them, we begin to feel dissatisfied. We start to make up excuses why success is not possible. Is it time? Is it money? It's family then, isn't it? We begin to blame other people, we blame events, we blame bad luck, and sometimes we blame ourselves. At the end of the day, this builds up into a massive store of regret.
Besides, these reasons are mostly inventions of fear and laziness. If you look at your excuses critically, how many of them are genuine? People who feel stuck are always saying "I can't afford an hour's workout a day!", or "I'm too forgetful!", or "I'm not a business person!". Basically, this is an admission of one's lack of control over one's life.
If someone gave you a million dollars to run on a the treadmill for 20 minutes a day, could you do it? How great is your desire to have a better physique? How much is that worth? Very often, it's not because we can't, it's because we haven't found the motivation.
With the right motivation (and it doesn't have to be money), you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behaviour. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the reasons why you can't make changes happen. Nothing defines you except you yourself. Do you really need the extra cup of coffee? Or that extra mug of beer? What about your quota of three cigarettes a day? Or that new mobile phone? What's really stopping you from being more loving to your partner? Is the romance really fading? Or are you giving more priority to other areas?
Take back your own power and decide to get into action to achieve the results you want.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
"I want to lose weight."
"I want a better job."
"I want to make more money."
"I want to make a film."
"I want to write a book."
Maybe for you, it's to travel around the world, to get higher education, or improving a current relationship. We all have goals and changes we want to make and we talk a lot about wanting them, but how many of us really do something?
Sometimes, the talking turns into complaining. Because we accumulate so many wants, but never go about resolving them, we begin to feel dissatisfied. We start to make up excuses why success is not possible. Is it time? Is it money? It's family then, isn't it? We begin to blame other people, we blame events, we blame bad luck, and sometimes we blame ourselves. At the end of the day, this builds up into a massive store of regret.
Besides, these reasons are mostly inventions of fear and laziness. If you look at your excuses critically, how many of them are genuine? People who feel stuck are always saying "I can't afford an hour's workout a day!", or "I'm too forgetful!", or "I'm not a business person!". Basically, this is an admission of one's lack of control over one's life.
If someone gave you a million dollars to run on a the treadmill for 20 minutes a day, could you do it? How great is your desire to have a better physique? How much is that worth? Very often, it's not because we can't, it's because we haven't found the motivation.
With the right motivation (and it doesn't have to be money), you can change and create winning actions in your life. You are not locked into any behaviour. Stop placing limits on yourself and talking about the reasons why you can't make changes happen. Nothing defines you except you yourself. Do you really need the extra cup of coffee? Or that extra mug of beer? What about your quota of three cigarettes a day? Or that new mobile phone? What's really stopping you from being more loving to your partner? Is the romance really fading? Or are you giving more priority to other areas?
Take back your own power and decide to get into action to achieve the results you want.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Forgive Yourself
Very often, when we talk about forgiveness, we mean forgiving other people. But many of us are not maximizing our lives because we've forgotten to forgive the most important person of all - ourselves.
There will be many times when we hurt or disappoint ourselves. When we make an error in judgement or when we fail to reach a certain benchmark. when we don't deal with that hurt and allow it to accumulate, it can lead to low self-esteem and self-disparagement. When you do make a mistake it's perfectly fine to acknowledge it. But don't hold it against yourself for the rest of your life.
Perhaps you feel you've let someone down, someone you care about. Punishing yourself isn't going to help things. Instead, deal with the hurt and let it go. Apologize to the other person or attempt to compensate in some way. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, says you're sorry, ask for their forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
Or maybe you begrudge yourself for something you feel is a flaw or impediment. Perhaps you hate your body, or don't think you're capable enough to succeed. Hey, no one has everything. But you don't have to simply accept your inadequacies. Have the courage to accept the things you cannot change, but the courage to change the things you can. These immortal words from a saint have perennial relevance. So don't feel sorry for yourself, do something about it. It's alright to be not good enough yet. But get on that path towards self-improvement.
Ask yourself these questions:
"Do I use my inner dialogue to beat myself up mentally and spiritually?"
"Do I not allow myself happiness because I believe, deep down inside, I don't deserve to be happy?"
"Am I holding myself back from relationships because I believe I'll just mess them up, repeating patterns in the past?"
"Am I setting for a career or relationship because I believe I'm not worthy of anything better?"
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it's time to make a change.
You are the only "you" you're ever going to have. Treat yourself well, with all the love, dignity and respect you can gather.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
There will be many times when we hurt or disappoint ourselves. When we make an error in judgement or when we fail to reach a certain benchmark. when we don't deal with that hurt and allow it to accumulate, it can lead to low self-esteem and self-disparagement. When you do make a mistake it's perfectly fine to acknowledge it. But don't hold it against yourself for the rest of your life.
Perhaps you feel you've let someone down, someone you care about. Punishing yourself isn't going to help things. Instead, deal with the hurt and let it go. Apologize to the other person or attempt to compensate in some way. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, says you're sorry, ask for their forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
Or maybe you begrudge yourself for something you feel is a flaw or impediment. Perhaps you hate your body, or don't think you're capable enough to succeed. Hey, no one has everything. But you don't have to simply accept your inadequacies. Have the courage to accept the things you cannot change, but the courage to change the things you can. These immortal words from a saint have perennial relevance. So don't feel sorry for yourself, do something about it. It's alright to be not good enough yet. But get on that path towards self-improvement.
Ask yourself these questions:
"Do I use my inner dialogue to beat myself up mentally and spiritually?"
"Do I not allow myself happiness because I believe, deep down inside, I don't deserve to be happy?"
"Am I holding myself back from relationships because I believe I'll just mess them up, repeating patterns in the past?"
"Am I setting for a career or relationship because I believe I'm not worthy of anything better?"
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it's time to make a change.
You are the only "you" you're ever going to have. Treat yourself well, with all the love, dignity and respect you can gather.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Respect
At the heart of every successful relationship, whether it's business or personal, lies respect. If you're in a relationship in which you either don't respect the other person or aren't respected by the other person, you'll want to seriously consider leaving it. Because the more you think about it, the more you'll realize that without respect, all those other important ingredients of a good relationship such as love and trust can't flourish at all.
When you truly respect someone, you don't lie to them, cheat on them, demean them, steal from them, speak badly about them, try to control them, invade their privacy, ignore what's important to them, or want anything less for them than their most glorious dreams.
If you happen to be in an intimate relationship in which you're being chronically disrespected, don't fall in to the trap of believing that if you hang around long enough, putting up with your partner, it will somehow prove to him or her how much you care; and then someday (ah that elusive "someday"), when you partner finally realizes the depth of your love, you'll earn the respect you've been longing for. Sadly, that hardly ever happens, because you can never earn respect by tolerating disrespect.
Other people's ideals, beliefs or ways of living can be different from yours, so just because they didn't live up to your expectations doesn't mean they're disrespectful. Also, people can behave negatively because of their own insecurities, health factors, chemical imbalance, fear, greed, anger and so on.
It's not always about you - so don't take it personally. Nevertheless you still have to decide if that's healthy situation to allow yourself to be a part of. Will "sticking around" serve your better purpose? You are ultimately the decision-maker whether you want to "stick-around" to be either intentionally or unintentionally disrespected. Another person's behavior to disrespect you is truly your own dilemma if you choose to remain and accept.
The fundamental ingredients of respect and trust are the foundation of all successful relationships. Difficult as it is, there's one thing you can do to earn respect from a person who's in the habit of disrespecting you. You have to distance yourself from them, not just emotionally or mentally, but physically. Don't threaten to leave unless you mean it, and when you mean it, do it. If you can't do it for yourself and your precious spirit that deserves respect, do it for the other person, and the lesson they need to learn that for every act of disrespect, there really is a price to pay.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
When you truly respect someone, you don't lie to them, cheat on them, demean them, steal from them, speak badly about them, try to control them, invade their privacy, ignore what's important to them, or want anything less for them than their most glorious dreams.
If you happen to be in an intimate relationship in which you're being chronically disrespected, don't fall in to the trap of believing that if you hang around long enough, putting up with your partner, it will somehow prove to him or her how much you care; and then someday (ah that elusive "someday"), when you partner finally realizes the depth of your love, you'll earn the respect you've been longing for. Sadly, that hardly ever happens, because you can never earn respect by tolerating disrespect.
Other people's ideals, beliefs or ways of living can be different from yours, so just because they didn't live up to your expectations doesn't mean they're disrespectful. Also, people can behave negatively because of their own insecurities, health factors, chemical imbalance, fear, greed, anger and so on.
It's not always about you - so don't take it personally. Nevertheless you still have to decide if that's healthy situation to allow yourself to be a part of. Will "sticking around" serve your better purpose? You are ultimately the decision-maker whether you want to "stick-around" to be either intentionally or unintentionally disrespected. Another person's behavior to disrespect you is truly your own dilemma if you choose to remain and accept.
The fundamental ingredients of respect and trust are the foundation of all successful relationships. Difficult as it is, there's one thing you can do to earn respect from a person who's in the habit of disrespecting you. You have to distance yourself from them, not just emotionally or mentally, but physically. Don't threaten to leave unless you mean it, and when you mean it, do it. If you can't do it for yourself and your precious spirit that deserves respect, do it for the other person, and the lesson they need to learn that for every act of disrespect, there really is a price to pay.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Voluntary Simplicity
In such a hectic world, the virtues of simplicity and contentment have been displaced by greed and excess. Our lives are filled with "stuff" - things to do, things to buy, shows to watch, emails to read. But if you take a moment to examine your possessions and activities, how many of them really improve the quality of your life?
The term 'voluntary simplicity' is used to describe a process whereby people opt out of the harried life of modern day living, and choose to live a life of frugality. Frugality in the sense of enjoying the virtue of getting good value for every minute of your life energy and from everything you have. Because when you think about it, how much do you really need? How much of your "stuff" do you actually use?
As we search for meaning in our lives, we start to become aware of the emptiness and shallowness of a life based on materialism and consumerism. We become aware of the tremendous amount of life force that we expend just to keep up with the 'rat race'. We start the search of a life of deeper meaning and ask ourselves 'what gives us joy?'
What we don't realise is that we are spiritual beings, in a physical body, and when we don't connect the internal (spiritual) and the external (physical), our lives increasingly lose a sense of balance or harmony. What are the expectation and assumptions that drive us to live our lives like zombies? How much 'life force' energy are we prepared to exchange for the material goods we consume?
If you've bought into the prevailing system, stop and think about why your life seems increasingly futile no matter how much you do and how much you buy. Here are some ways you can simplify your life for more inner peace and clarity.
Have a Buy Nothing Day.
Look at the foods you consume. Do you really need so much? Choose more simply prepared and natural foods. Replacing meat, fats, and grease with veggies and fruits may seem unappetizing at first, but believe me, after a while, you will feel and look better.
Use non-toxic products such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and salt in your home and garden (if you have one).
Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.
Decide what is really working in your life and let go of what which no longer serves you.
Surround yourself with what you really need and love.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
The term 'voluntary simplicity' is used to describe a process whereby people opt out of the harried life of modern day living, and choose to live a life of frugality. Frugality in the sense of enjoying the virtue of getting good value for every minute of your life energy and from everything you have. Because when you think about it, how much do you really need? How much of your "stuff" do you actually use?
As we search for meaning in our lives, we start to become aware of the emptiness and shallowness of a life based on materialism and consumerism. We become aware of the tremendous amount of life force that we expend just to keep up with the 'rat race'. We start the search of a life of deeper meaning and ask ourselves 'what gives us joy?'
What we don't realise is that we are spiritual beings, in a physical body, and when we don't connect the internal (spiritual) and the external (physical), our lives increasingly lose a sense of balance or harmony. What are the expectation and assumptions that drive us to live our lives like zombies? How much 'life force' energy are we prepared to exchange for the material goods we consume?
If you've bought into the prevailing system, stop and think about why your life seems increasingly futile no matter how much you do and how much you buy. Here are some ways you can simplify your life for more inner peace and clarity.
Have a Buy Nothing Day.
Look at the foods you consume. Do you really need so much? Choose more simply prepared and natural foods. Replacing meat, fats, and grease with veggies and fruits may seem unappetizing at first, but believe me, after a while, you will feel and look better.
Use non-toxic products such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and salt in your home and garden (if you have one).
Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.
Decide what is really working in your life and let go of what which no longer serves you.
Surround yourself with what you really need and love.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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