Grievances of the Mind

In life, there will be great misfortunes that require immense effort to deal with. And we sometimes suffer grave injuries that take a long time to heal.

For some of us though, the grievances that exhaust our energy, spirit and time are trivial ones - petty hurts that are really any bites on the soul, yet can cause a lot of physical harm and mental anguish.

Perhaps we find a co-worker irritating. We expect something of our partner and he or she does not deliver. Someone we help turns out to be unappreciative, some insult about our appearance or intelligence is passed, or some reward we think we deserve is denied us.

Our mental tranquility is upset, our work gets affected, we lose appetite and sleep, we sulk and become listless. And because these little hurts are common, they quickly accumulate in our minds, and grow huge and irrepressible from constant brooding.

As a result, we lost many precious hours pondering and fretting over things that have no real bearing on the quality of our lives - things, that in a month, a day or even a second, may matter little, if at all.

Besides, if we take the time to contemplate these perceived trespasses, we will come to realise that most of them only happen in our minds.

Think about the last event, situation or person that upset you. How much of that stress was really just taking place inside your head? How much of it was over-embellishment and loss of focus due to hours of excessive analysis?

Instead of indulging a mind on overdrive, force yourself to distil what's truly stressing you and write it down. What is the thing that upsetting you?

Once you have that written down... ask yourself... is it true? For example, if what your partner said this morning made you question his or her love for you, think about it rationally. Is it really true? Do you absolutely know it's true? How did imagining this "truth" make you feel? How would you be feeling if you didn't indulge this negative thought?

Would you be happier, more loving, more forgiving, more capable of appreciating the good?

I wouldn't go to say that all our grievances happen only in our minds. But most of them do. The next time you find yourself getting upset with something or someone, do yourself a favour. See the truth... don't over-think it.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd