It is not so easy to just "let go of the past and move on", is it?
Well, the past happened for a reason. Moving forward does not mean simply forgetting about or ignoring the past. Everything that happens to us, especially the harder times, can make us stronger and better. Or make us doubtful and afraid. We all have that choice. The person you are today is the result of your past experiences, and in those experiences, no matter how horrible, lies the key to you becoming a better person.
Probably the difficult thing to do after being hurt or disappointed is to forgive. I have known people who had abusive parents, been sexually molested as teenagers, been seduced into crime and prison, or have had their hearts broken several times. And these are all relatively mild compared to people whose loved ones were murdered, or who were physically disabled because of a drink driver.
How do they forgive? Truthfully, most of them don't. Most of them carry the hurt with them throughout their lives. And it eats into their peace of mind, poisons them against other people, and ultimately clouds their future with doubt and fear, dark feelings and thoughts.
If you cannot forgive your aggressor, you are always going to feel as if your life has been irreparably damaged because of him. Forgiving someone is as much about accepting their human frailty as it is stating your freedom from their tyranny. You are saying that you will not let what they have done dictate how you're going to live your life.
So, forgive everyone you feel had anything to do with your painful past. Seek out the gifts in your pain. That's the key. Once you learn to identify the gifts that have made you a better person, you will no longer have to be angry with anyone, not even yourself. Whatever you did, whatever they did, all presented you with the gifts you possess today.
Remember, the past does not define us. Each new day, each new moment even, you have the power to re-invent yourself.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
