Healing Through Acceptance

When misfortune occurs, many people try to deny or resist it. They go through the exhausting and pointless cycle of thoughts that goes something like "No, no, this can't be happening!" or "Why is this happening to me?", usually meaning "Why is this happening to poor ol' harmless me?".

As a result, they go through long periods of emotional suffering that can be damaging to their psychological or physical health. They waste a lot of energy and time rejecting what's happening to them instead of healing themselves by accepting their situation.

Now by accepting the situation, I don't mean going through life thinking everything that happens to you is ok. What I mean is, although it's completely natural to react with disbelief and resistance when something seemingly bad happens, you can only being to mend when you accept your plight and move on.

Some things happen to us that are completely out of our hands. You might call these "acts of God" if you're the religious type, or genuine accidents that you have no control over, like natural disasters or a reckless driver in your lane.

But we have to accept responsibility for most of the things that happen to us in life. Being in a developed country in the 21st century means that most of us have all our basic needs covered - food, shelter, education, healthcare, sanitation and so on. Which leaves us with things like our emotional needs, our value systems, our desires and ambitions, and our behaviour.

These stem from our attitudes towards and perceptions of ourselves, others, our surroundings and the wider world. And we have the power to tweak these attitudes and perceptions to influence our mental well-being and potential for love, joy and success.

So when something seemingly "bad" happens to us, the fastest and most direct route to recovery is acknowledging and accepting it - "Yes, it happened. And yes, I may have had a role to play in creating it. What can I learn from this? How can I improve things? How can I improve myself? How can I move on?"

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd