If you watch "Super Nanny" and sigh to yourself "I wish I could hire her?", then here's a great tool for managing your rampaging kids.
It's called a time-out. Now this is already a well-known discipline technique in the U.S. It's not a punishment; it's a teaching method that helps your child learn how to control his or her own behaviour. When used consistently and properly, time-out helps your child learn how not to push your hot buttons.
Time-out is usually used when a child is arguing, using improper language, being disobedient, whining, throwing things, hitting, or having a tantrum.
Time-out is effective because it's a method where your child can see and know that you are backing up what you are saying, i.e., "If you don't stop whining, then there'll be time-out for you." Most children truly don't like time-out because it takes them away from something they enjoy doing.
So what exactly is a time-out?
Each parent has a unique way of presenting time-out and you'll discover your own. Prepare a time-out room where there are no distractions and nothing that can harm your child. Then, find something to represent the start of a time-out. Some parents use an egg timer or some parents use a buzzer. What you do is you place it on a table in the room then calmly tell their child to sit in a chair quietly until the timer rings. Again, explain to your child that you want the misbehaviour to stop. Once you've told your child that they have earned time-out, do not change your mind or be fooled by your child's sudden obedience and cooperative ways. Leave your child in the room with the timer (with or without the door open) and tell your child that you'll be right next-door. Time-out is breathing space for both you and your child to calm down, reflect and regain composure.
Set the timer for two to five minutes. Start the timer once your child is seated and quiet. If your child starts to scream or have a tantrum while in time-out, just simply ignore it. After the timer rings, go to your child. Don't lecture your child after time-out. In fact, change the subject matter when your child leaves the room. The child must want to get out of time-out into an enjoyable place again, not another lecture.
Many children will cease misbehaving once they see their parent reach for the timer. They know what's coming and they modify their own behaviour to become more cooperative. But do bear in mind that time-out is not effective for children below two, and time-out should be only used for correcting one particular misbehaviour at a time.
So is it time for a time-out?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
