Psychologist Nathaniel Brandon once remarked that "there is no value-judgment more important to man, no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation than the estimate he passes on himself."
How true! Self-sabotage is probably the number one barrier to greater success and joy. Many people grow up with a less-than-ideal sense of self-worth, due mainly to the feedback they received as children. As a result, they're often their own worst enemies, mentally limiting their opportunities to attract more happiness, success and love.
Self-esteem goes beyond simply just feeling good about the way you look or the talents you possess. This kind of self-esteem is temporary and may change from day to day depending on which way the wind is blowing your sails. There is a deeper self-esteem which is the most accurate description of how you feel, regardless of what obstacles are thrown in your path.
Here are some ways to develop this deeper self-esteem:
First of all, clear out all the rubbish from your mind - this is anything hurtful and unconstructive that you've been told, either just a few moments ago or even when you were in primary school. Useful advice should be heeded but don't waste your time being upset with people who are just mean. When you were a kid, the hurt might've had you struggling haplessly in its talons but now that you're an adult, assert your right to pay no attention to unreasonable, nasty, toxic people.
People say "don't count your chickens before they're hatched". I say, why not? Doing this can mean that you're optimistic and looking forward to a bright future. It can also mean that you're grateful for what you have now, for without the eggs, there would be no hope for chickens! So by all means, count your blessings! The people you have in your life, the good fortune and health that you enjoy, the good things that are in the pipeline.
Identify your strengths and keep reminding yourself how they are truly a gift to you and the people around you. And surround yourself with positive people, for example, professional organizations that have something in common with your interests.
Remember, your opinion of yourself is the chief factor for success and joy in most aspects of life including your relationships. Don't sell yourself short!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
