You know the feeling - you've achieved something great after a period of hard work - you've made a great speech, you've wrapped up a big meeting, you've finished writing a book, you've completed an exhilarating game, you've put together a wonderful event, the final notes of your piano recital have met rapturous applause. You're on cloud nine and it seems that at this beautiful moment, nothing can touch you.
Then, someone says, "You're so full of yourself. That was nothing special. I've seen better. You were terrible! You sucked." It seems as if a needle has punctured your rubber soul. There is an earth-shattering pop and the once proud balloon of your ego is now a wrinkled, sniveling wreck.
What happened? It was going so well for you! You were having a great time! And now you're in a daze, wondering what hit you. The words dig into you and you start asking yourself "What did I do wrong? Was I really that bad? That mistake marred my whole performance! I just wasn't good enough!"
The hours and days pass and the feeling of disappointment hasn't abated. You start reviewing your past failures and wrong turns. You wonder if you should continue doing this at all. Maybe you should quit.
Many people actually do. They get so unnerved by the negative feedback that they're thrown off-track. They make even more mistakes because they're so hung up about being perfect.
Now there will always be people who will not like you or find your work helpful or like the pattern of your tie. For whatever reason. These people may not even be making a genuine assessment. It's more likely that they're simply making reckless comments. Otherwise you'd get more analysis than just "you were terrible" ("you sucked")!
It's important not to dwell on this minority of people. If you let them get to you, you'll constantly be distracted. And just think how ridiculous it is for you to be held back by a few careless words. It's just a needle. You don't have to be a balloon that's easily punctured by a prick.
What others think or say about you is their reality. What you think of yourself is your reality. Don't let anyone make you lose direction or abandon your dream. Most of the time, people just want to provoke a reaction. Don't believe a word.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
