There is much in this world that's not fair or right, at least in our opinion. And if we want to, we can have plenty to complain or be unhappy about. In fact, many of us do make our frustrations known on a regular basis, bleating away to our friends, colleagues, family and whoever's too polite to walk away.
I try my best to catch myself when I am straying into "whining" territory, but it's tough, isn't it? It can feel really good to let it all out, especially to someone you feel comfortable around.
But believe me, keep up the complaining and even your closest friend will find you insufferable after a while. Yet, driving people away is a pretty minor consequence compared to what a negative attitude towards adversity does to us.
As we've talked about before, there is much in life that can upset us. So if our typical reaction is negative, then we are likely to be miserable quite often.
I am not suggesting that you dismiss or laugh off everything you find abhorrent or unjust. Certainly we should try to improve things but the problem is that many of us simply throw a big fit and do little else. The frustration and complaining then become just a habit that keeps us feeling low and helpless.
The difference is in our focus. Reacting negatively to challenges keeps our mind on failure, misfortune, and injustice. It makes us feel like we are being unfairly untreated when really, everyone goes through hard times. Everyone gets their heart broken. Everyone experiences failure before tasting success. And we all become excellent only through consistent hard work.
Let's take the example of a salesperson, a profession that arguably encounters the most rejection. After having a couple of doors slammed in his face, he becomes crestfallen, giving in to grunts and sighs, turning to chemicals to jolt his spirits, and resorting to slagging off his clients to justify his stranded sales figures. The more this happens, the less motivated he feels to try harder. His negative attitude towards his problem keeps him in a self-fulfilling cycle of failure.
But what if he doesn't allow the rejection to rattle him? Learn from the experience and do something different the next time? What if keeps up his cheerful disposition and greets the next customer with a bigger smile instead of a scowl?
When you leave an upsetting situation with an unbeaten spirit, you are really taking a big stride towards future success.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Working Attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Working Attitude. Show all posts
Dealing With Criticism
It seems the young people of today hate being criticized. This according to a new study by the University of New Hampshire. Apparently, this is due to "an over-inflated sense of entitlement stemming from being constantly told from birth they are special and as a result now believe it - and will ignore anybody who says other wise."
Well, to be fair, nobody actually enjoys being criticized, but there is value in criticism that youths these days, dubbed Generation Y, are missing. These "unjustified levels of self-esteem" it seems, "masks the ugly reality" and has led to "higher levels of depression and chronic disappointment".
It's not a affliction that's exclusive to generation Y though... many of us in the older age brackets are similarly averse to criticism. But no all criticism is useless or bad for us... in fact, you can often find something valuable in any criticism. even if the critic is purely trying to discourage you, you can learn to pick out the valid points of his remarks and beat him at his game by coming out the eventual winner.
The truth is, people who criticize you simply for the sadistic fun of it are in the minority. Most peopel do so because they genuinely feel that something's not right in their opinion. Sure, you don't have to agree with them, but if you simply ignore the criticism, you are probably missing something that could help you improve yourself or your product or service. It could even be a major flaw or a festering wound that you didn't notice yourself. We really should be grateful for such volunteer troubleshooters!
Of course, the criticism is not always delivered in the most harmonious of tones. And the harsh and blunt manner in which criticism is conveyed is what most people react angrily to. So learn to respond to criticism, not the way it's delivered. Don't kill the messenger, as they say. Instead, consider the useful points that can be extracted from the message.
It also helps greatly not take the criticism personally. Remember, it's the issue the person is talking about, or the aspect of you or your product or service he's unhappy with.
If someone is truly out to bring you down, he probably won't tell you where you went wrong. If he bothers to say something, chances are, there really is something that requires your attention, or that he cares enough about you or your product to help you plug the leak before it sinks the ship.
So don't simply dismiss the criticism that comes your way. Learn how to use it to reach greater heights.
Well, to be fair, nobody actually enjoys being criticized, but there is value in criticism that youths these days, dubbed Generation Y, are missing. These "unjustified levels of self-esteem" it seems, "masks the ugly reality" and has led to "higher levels of depression and chronic disappointment".
It's not a affliction that's exclusive to generation Y though... many of us in the older age brackets are similarly averse to criticism. But no all criticism is useless or bad for us... in fact, you can often find something valuable in any criticism. even if the critic is purely trying to discourage you, you can learn to pick out the valid points of his remarks and beat him at his game by coming out the eventual winner.
The truth is, people who criticize you simply for the sadistic fun of it are in the minority. Most peopel do so because they genuinely feel that something's not right in their opinion. Sure, you don't have to agree with them, but if you simply ignore the criticism, you are probably missing something that could help you improve yourself or your product or service. It could even be a major flaw or a festering wound that you didn't notice yourself. We really should be grateful for such volunteer troubleshooters!
Of course, the criticism is not always delivered in the most harmonious of tones. And the harsh and blunt manner in which criticism is conveyed is what most people react angrily to. So learn to respond to criticism, not the way it's delivered. Don't kill the messenger, as they say. Instead, consider the useful points that can be extracted from the message.
It also helps greatly not take the criticism personally. Remember, it's the issue the person is talking about, or the aspect of you or your product or service he's unhappy with.
If someone is truly out to bring you down, he probably won't tell you where you went wrong. If he bothers to say something, chances are, there really is something that requires your attention, or that he cares enough about you or your product to help you plug the leak before it sinks the ship.
So don't simply dismiss the criticism that comes your way. Learn how to use it to reach greater heights.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Staying Motivated in Uncertain Times
Nothing in life is predictable. You can plan your life as tightly as you possibly can, and still there will be times when it can all come crashing down.
So how do you stay motivated when life is so uncertain? How do you remain creative during times when nothing around you seems to give you inspiration?
First of all, learn to concentrate on the good. Your perception of something determines whether it hammers your spirit or gives it wings. So always focus on the positive - find the lesson, or the beauty. What new wisdom have you gained? Did you find a new friend? Or perhaps a fresh perspective? Everything can bring you closer to your goals. You don't always know it at the time, but if you seek the good in everything, there is no defeat.
Also, when a difficulty arises, focus on the solution. Many people dwell on the problem, seeing it grow more menacing and complicated in their minds, shrinking their hearts. So concentrate on the solution, break it down into manageable steps, then take action. For example, if a lucrative market is suddenly closed off to you, don't keep thinking about the potential profits lost; look elsewhere! The world is too large for you to remain in one place for too long.
Along the road to your goals, there are plenty of motels that offer a seductive rest. These places often have names like "The Past", "Complacency", "Indolence", "Lovely Laurels to Rest On", and the like. We have all checked into these places before. The stay is always pleasant enough of course, but if we linger too long, we find it hard to leave. So by all means, revisit your past, indulge a little in your achievements, but when it all gets too comfortable, move on. Don't sacrifice your future by living in the past.
Successful people know that a positive, forward-looking attitude is indispensable. You too can be as postive as you want to be if you will concentrate on the good, seek out the valuable lesson, focus on the solution and think about and head towards the future. If you think as successful people think, using your mind to exert mental control over the situatino, you will be positive and in good spirits most of the time.
When the unexpected snag occurs, you will find that you are better able to get yourself going again.
So how do you stay motivated when life is so uncertain? How do you remain creative during times when nothing around you seems to give you inspiration?
First of all, learn to concentrate on the good. Your perception of something determines whether it hammers your spirit or gives it wings. So always focus on the positive - find the lesson, or the beauty. What new wisdom have you gained? Did you find a new friend? Or perhaps a fresh perspective? Everything can bring you closer to your goals. You don't always know it at the time, but if you seek the good in everything, there is no defeat.
Also, when a difficulty arises, focus on the solution. Many people dwell on the problem, seeing it grow more menacing and complicated in their minds, shrinking their hearts. So concentrate on the solution, break it down into manageable steps, then take action. For example, if a lucrative market is suddenly closed off to you, don't keep thinking about the potential profits lost; look elsewhere! The world is too large for you to remain in one place for too long.
Along the road to your goals, there are plenty of motels that offer a seductive rest. These places often have names like "The Past", "Complacency", "Indolence", "Lovely Laurels to Rest On", and the like. We have all checked into these places before. The stay is always pleasant enough of course, but if we linger too long, we find it hard to leave. So by all means, revisit your past, indulge a little in your achievements, but when it all gets too comfortable, move on. Don't sacrifice your future by living in the past.
Successful people know that a positive, forward-looking attitude is indispensable. You too can be as postive as you want to be if you will concentrate on the good, seek out the valuable lesson, focus on the solution and think about and head towards the future. If you think as successful people think, using your mind to exert mental control over the situatino, you will be positive and in good spirits most of the time.
When the unexpected snag occurs, you will find that you are better able to get yourself going again.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Making Great Impressions
Want to nail that job interview? Want to wow the crowd? Want to make friends easily?
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Believe in Yourself
Self-help, self-improvement, motivation, life-coaching...
There is so much material available these days and so many motivational speakers and coaches and self-styled gurus who claim they can change your life that it's easay to be skeptical about their efficacy.
The truth is, you can read a thousand books, attend a hundred seminars, and hire several life coaches, and it will not make shred of difference. Or you could just happen to pick up one book or even hear one quote, and be well on your way to achieving your most ambitious goals. It's not really how much you're exposed to; more important is what and most crucially, how you response to it. Before any "self-improvement" can start, something must first click within you. Your "self" is the key.
You know how two people can be shown exactly the same thing and each of them sees completely different things? It's the same with self-help materials. Before they can even begin to help you, you have to first believe in yourself. How badly do you want to change? Have you prepared your heart to sustain you through the challenges and barriers that will no doubt be in your way? Are you able to re-affirm your self-worth when others begin to lose their faith in you? Do you know precisely what you're good at and just how valuable you are?
Conviction is everything. Your belief system must be unshakable.
Many people have big dreams but how many of them truly believe they can make them reality? Successful people continue to be in the minority because attrition swiftly eliminates those whose hearts are not really into it. Doubt and fear gnaw at all our hearts, but those who make it know that these things hold no real power if we choose not to give them any power.
Typically, after a motivational programme, people get all excited, but after a time of not seeing the results that they want, they quit. You know, with all the time invested into it, they probably would've been better off not even starting!
These people being with the thought of "well, let's see if this works out..." This is not the kind of thinking that will make you successful. Successful people believe it work out and persevere until it does. Now many people scoff at this and think that the reason successful people have a great attitude is that they are successful. But the opposite is true - successful people are successful because they have a great attitude!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
There is so much material available these days and so many motivational speakers and coaches and self-styled gurus who claim they can change your life that it's easay to be skeptical about their efficacy.
The truth is, you can read a thousand books, attend a hundred seminars, and hire several life coaches, and it will not make shred of difference. Or you could just happen to pick up one book or even hear one quote, and be well on your way to achieving your most ambitious goals. It's not really how much you're exposed to; more important is what and most crucially, how you response to it. Before any "self-improvement" can start, something must first click within you. Your "self" is the key.
You know how two people can be shown exactly the same thing and each of them sees completely different things? It's the same with self-help materials. Before they can even begin to help you, you have to first believe in yourself. How badly do you want to change? Have you prepared your heart to sustain you through the challenges and barriers that will no doubt be in your way? Are you able to re-affirm your self-worth when others begin to lose their faith in you? Do you know precisely what you're good at and just how valuable you are?
Conviction is everything. Your belief system must be unshakable.
Many people have big dreams but how many of them truly believe they can make them reality? Successful people continue to be in the minority because attrition swiftly eliminates those whose hearts are not really into it. Doubt and fear gnaw at all our hearts, but those who make it know that these things hold no real power if we choose not to give them any power.
Typically, after a motivational programme, people get all excited, but after a time of not seeing the results that they want, they quit. You know, with all the time invested into it, they probably would've been better off not even starting!
These people being with the thought of "well, let's see if this works out..." This is not the kind of thinking that will make you successful. Successful people believe it work out and persevere until it does. Now many people scoff at this and think that the reason successful people have a great attitude is that they are successful. But the opposite is true - successful people are successful because they have a great attitude!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Business Attitude
When it comes to doing business, we often hear the word "aptitude", which refers to the talent and propensity for achieving business success. Well, certainly it helps a great deal when you have a natural flair for managing people, predicting market trends, or are skilled in import and export matters. Some people just seem to have a better "head for business, as they say.
But what's equally crucial, if not more important than "business aptitude" is "business attitude" - the manner and approach you carry towards a life in business. Many business people, despite their natural gifts for what they do, simply do not have the stamina for business. They drop out prematurely, after a few failures, or simply use up so much energy that they quite literally become too exhausted to continue.
Having the right business attitude, on the other hand, goes way beyond expertise, technique or "know-how". It's the ability to stay on course when scary winds are buffeting your ship from all directions. It's the ability to know when to row harder, when to let the sails take over, when to allow the currents to carry you.
In the business world, traps and potholes are aplenty. Failing several times is no uncommon, in fact, many business people will tell you it's the norm. Having the right business attitude means being able to handle these "downs" on your way to the "ups".
Think about the most successful person you know! How did that person become successful? Was he or she daunted by failure? Or were they always analyzing their mistakes, discovering what went wrong, and deciding not to repeat that mistake? It's the only route to success! It's so deceptively simple on paper, yet how many can truly do it in reality?
Think about your own thoughts about your success in business. Do you believe the only way to make more money is to work harder? Do you believe that you cannot be your own boss? Do you believe that the reasons for your failures are external? Other people, other events?
To achieve success in business (as with anything else), you have to believe that you can. Trying and failing is still better than doing nothing. At least you've learnt something. And take responsibility for your own actions. Do not blame people; learn from them. There are valuable lessons to be gleaned, even from your enemies.
Be constantly aware of what you're thinking. Re-program your mind to believe that you can, and you will!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
But what's equally crucial, if not more important than "business aptitude" is "business attitude" - the manner and approach you carry towards a life in business. Many business people, despite their natural gifts for what they do, simply do not have the stamina for business. They drop out prematurely, after a few failures, or simply use up so much energy that they quite literally become too exhausted to continue.
Having the right business attitude, on the other hand, goes way beyond expertise, technique or "know-how". It's the ability to stay on course when scary winds are buffeting your ship from all directions. It's the ability to know when to row harder, when to let the sails take over, when to allow the currents to carry you.
In the business world, traps and potholes are aplenty. Failing several times is no uncommon, in fact, many business people will tell you it's the norm. Having the right business attitude means being able to handle these "downs" on your way to the "ups".
Think about the most successful person you know! How did that person become successful? Was he or she daunted by failure? Or were they always analyzing their mistakes, discovering what went wrong, and deciding not to repeat that mistake? It's the only route to success! It's so deceptively simple on paper, yet how many can truly do it in reality?
Think about your own thoughts about your success in business. Do you believe the only way to make more money is to work harder? Do you believe that you cannot be your own boss? Do you believe that the reasons for your failures are external? Other people, other events?
To achieve success in business (as with anything else), you have to believe that you can. Trying and failing is still better than doing nothing. At least you've learnt something. And take responsibility for your own actions. Do not blame people; learn from them. There are valuable lessons to be gleaned, even from your enemies.
Be constantly aware of what you're thinking. Re-program your mind to believe that you can, and you will!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Faith in Yourself
Looking at the people around you, you probably think that you're the only one who gets timid and unsure of yourself. But any time you feel your confidence shrivelling, you're not alone. Everyone feels fear and self-doubt, probably more often than you know but because you're not them, you don't feel or see it. You only feel your own fear so keenly because you're the one experiencing it.
In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It's the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That's why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.
Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and comform to strict rules or risk being punished.
Perhaps it's remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You're your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don't have to try to "fit in" anymore, and you don't need anyone's approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that's wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.
In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you're uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What's the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?
You'll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn't mean you won't succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It's the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That's why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.
Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and comform to strict rules or risk being punished.
Perhaps it's remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You're your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don't have to try to "fit in" anymore, and you don't need anyone's approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that's wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.
In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you're uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What's the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?
You'll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn't mean you won't succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Add Value in the Workplace
We all want to be promoted, get higher salaries, and become more valued at the workplace. But what steps are you taking towards attracting a promotion? Do you have a plan? What are you currently doing that makes you believe that you are deserving of one?
The most miserable people in the world today are those who know what they need to do to create the life they desire, but they refuse to take the actions to do so. So what can you do?
In today's business culture, productivity is the key to promotion. Every employer by reason of economics is forced to look at the bottom line. So here are three steps to increase your productivity, and thus add value in the workplace.
First, assess the desired result.
The clearer the desired outcome, the quicker you can take action. Always be certain you are on the same page as your employer regarding the desired outcome of a task. Don't assume the outcome you desire is the outcome your boss does.
Next, assess what actions must be taken immediately.
You may have ten, fifteen, or even fifty things to do on your plate right now, but do you know what to do next? Identifying the next action takes a matter of minutes, but is often a highly neglected practice. Look over your list of projects and ask yourself, what must I do next? Write it down. After you go through your projects and write out each action step, then determine the highest priority and get to work. You cannot do everything right now. All that matters is what you do right now and what you do next. A great question to ask is, "what action if done will be of the most benefit to you and the company?" or, "what action if not done will be most detrimental to your career success? "
And third, concentrate entirely on the most important task until it is complete.
Quickly solve every problem that comes your way and soon your stock will rise in the eyes of those who are looking for someone to promote. Allow time and your track record to speak on your behalf. Don't force the issue. Your ability to act quickly and get more done than anyone else will cause you to stand out. If you can create a memory in your supervisor's mind that you are person who can get the job done quickly and in excellence, more responsibility and opportunity will be given to you. Getting the job done quickly may mean the difference between you or someone else getting a promotion.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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