In such a competitive society, a lot of emphasis is placed on winning and taking as much as we can.
But what do we really gain by taking all the time? And how much of what we take can we really hold on to?
Unlike taking, whatever we give away takes on a life of its own. It spreads and multiplies and finally finds its way back to you. It probably won't come immediately, nor will it come from the source you expected. Most likely you would have forgotten all about your gift when its impact finally comes round to you. But have faith that this law applies unfailingly.
This law also applies to any negative deed or words you send out. Whatever you feel about someone, be it concern, love, respect or be it envy or hate will surely come back to you in some clear or unseen manner.
If you speak well of someone, this positive energy will have a chain reaction, and many more will speak kindly of you. But if it's spiteful words you send out, this negative energy will also be reflected back to you. Kind words encourage and inspire... hateful words only breed resentment and revenge.
Our thoughts and actions are a reflection of our soul. Kind and positive ones come from underlying happiness and contentment and only serve to enrich our souls even more. Unkind thoughs come from petty, unhappy souls and only serve to bring us more pain.
think of giving as a mirror. Whatever we send out, we get back. Smile kindly and you will be greeted with the same. Positivity begets positivity. Kindness begets kindness. A hateful scowl only chases love away.
As you start or end this day, remember that kindness comes to those who first are kind. If it's friendship you want, first be a friend yourself. If it's respect you crave, be respectful towards others. If you want to be accepted, embrace others fully. If you want to be loved, you must first be loving.
Many things in this life are temporal and fleeting. Money, power, position, fame, youth... Attachment to these things ultimately contribute to the emptiness in our hearts.
However, the good things we do for others, and the love and concern we give away are the only things that will remain with us.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Acceptance. Show all posts
Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
We've all, at some point, compared ourselves with others and ended up feeling inferior or discontented. Talk about self-torture!
Whether it's someone's looks, social status, talents, popularity, car, fame, or body, most of us do this without really thinking about what we're doing, but think about how often you do it, and you will realize just how frequently you are dis-empowering yourself.
Comparing ourselves with others erodes our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we're capable of in life.
When we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inadequate, we may feel that we shoudl be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goals, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn't want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people's goals, what they'd wanted, what they'd achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passion, values, and integrity to gain what you have gained? Would you be able to give up what they'd given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we're less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It's much easier to say "I will never be able to do that!" than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people's definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Whether it's someone's looks, social status, talents, popularity, car, fame, or body, most of us do this without really thinking about what we're doing, but think about how often you do it, and you will realize just how frequently you are dis-empowering yourself.
Comparing ourselves with others erodes our confidence and self-worth. This stops us from achieving all that we're capable of in life.
When we compare ourselves with someone and it makes us feel inadequate, we may feel that we shoudl be achieving the same results. Now this sounds like a positive thing if envy can drive us to fulfill the same goals, then why not?
Well, envy and inferiority are such powerful emotions that it can make us feel as though besides our goals, everything else is unimportant, even our loved ones, or values like honesty and integrity, even human life. Dictators and other power-hungry individuals have often been driven by envy and self-loathing to reach the pinnacle of power by all means necessary.
Envy and inferiority also cause us to blindly pursue aims that in the end, we may find we really didn't want in the first place. Our focus had been on other people's goals, what they'd wanted, what they'd achieved. Lost in a cloud of envy, we failed to think about our own aspirations.
Think about the people you might be envying - that millionaire entrepreneur, that influential politician, that top housing agent, that up-and-coming actor, that hot young athlete. Deep down inside, is that what you really want to be? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own passion, values, and integrity to gain what you have gained? Would you be able to give up what they'd given up in order to achieve their goals? Would you really be happy if you had what they have?
When comparing ourselves with others makes us feel inadequate, we are also less likely to take action to see how much we are capable of. When we feel and think small, we're less likely to venture out, in case we get trampled on. It's much easier to say "I will never be able to do that!" than actually taking a risk and making an attempt. But we can only reach our potential by trying and taking risks and keeping at it.
If you truly want to be happy and successful, stop comparing yourself with others. Blindly chasing other people's definitions of success can never make you happy. Think about your own definition of success. Pursue and live your own version.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Being True to Ourselves
No one likes being lied to. The truth is what we respect, indeed what we often demand. Yet, the person we often most lie to is our self.
We'd love to think that we are perfectly comfortable in our own skin. Yet many of us are not living that life of authenticity and honesty.
Think of your appearance. Or your talents or abilities. Are you happy with them? Are you proud of your success? Or are you constantly envious of other people? What about how others perceive you and the extent to which they are including (or excluding) you in their lives? Do you need the approval of others in order to feel good about yourself?
We are often brought up in environments or ways that give us a tunnel-visioned view of ourselves and the world. Parenting, culture, conditions, past experiences, and widely-held beliefs and values teaches us to behave in certain ways. There is a deeply-rotted and subconscious fear that if we deviate from these ways, we won't be accepted or loved, perhaps even be thought of by others as "wrong" or morally-corrupt.
As a result, we learn to stay within these neatly-defined comfort zones. We become afraid of change. Guilt and doubt keep us from being the authentic self we truly wish to be.
Constantly-repeated messages also teach us how we should own a certain product, wear a certain thing, use a certain cream, take a certain pill in order to feel good, fit in, gain more friends and become more successful. As a result, we pour money, time, and effort into these ultimately unfulfilling pursuits, often ending up with much less than we began with.
As we have been conditioned all our lives that our values is directly proportionate to how much other people like or approval of us, we live our lives in perpetual search of external validation. When we don't get it, we feel bad about ourselves. This need to be liked by others also pushes us to contribute to the endless cycle of contrivance until all everyone is doing is congratulating one another. There are also the ones who feed on this need for approval. On a more sombre level, you could be at the mercy of people who may be using you for their own purposes.
Of course, I am not saying that you should live in total disregard for other people's opinions and feelings. Or that we should not compliment or praise others. But we should learn to distinguish between genuine concern and simply attempting to trade artifice for love and acceptance.
As we tune in more and more to our authentic selves, we will make changes that help us live more truthful, more empowered, and happier lives.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
We'd love to think that we are perfectly comfortable in our own skin. Yet many of us are not living that life of authenticity and honesty.
Think of your appearance. Or your talents or abilities. Are you happy with them? Are you proud of your success? Or are you constantly envious of other people? What about how others perceive you and the extent to which they are including (or excluding) you in their lives? Do you need the approval of others in order to feel good about yourself?
We are often brought up in environments or ways that give us a tunnel-visioned view of ourselves and the world. Parenting, culture, conditions, past experiences, and widely-held beliefs and values teaches us to behave in certain ways. There is a deeply-rotted and subconscious fear that if we deviate from these ways, we won't be accepted or loved, perhaps even be thought of by others as "wrong" or morally-corrupt.
As a result, we learn to stay within these neatly-defined comfort zones. We become afraid of change. Guilt and doubt keep us from being the authentic self we truly wish to be.
Constantly-repeated messages also teach us how we should own a certain product, wear a certain thing, use a certain cream, take a certain pill in order to feel good, fit in, gain more friends and become more successful. As a result, we pour money, time, and effort into these ultimately unfulfilling pursuits, often ending up with much less than we began with.
As we have been conditioned all our lives that our values is directly proportionate to how much other people like or approval of us, we live our lives in perpetual search of external validation. When we don't get it, we feel bad about ourselves. This need to be liked by others also pushes us to contribute to the endless cycle of contrivance until all everyone is doing is congratulating one another. There are also the ones who feed on this need for approval. On a more sombre level, you could be at the mercy of people who may be using you for their own purposes.
Of course, I am not saying that you should live in total disregard for other people's opinions and feelings. Or that we should not compliment or praise others. But we should learn to distinguish between genuine concern and simply attempting to trade artifice for love and acceptance.
As we tune in more and more to our authentic selves, we will make changes that help us live more truthful, more empowered, and happier lives.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Loving Your True Self
Some people always put others before them, and to them this is a very natural thing; they feel they are being selfless and sympathetic. But in the process, they can forget who they are and lose themselves. They begin to get depressed, lose focus and ambition and wonder what happened to their lives to make them get to this point. The answer is simple - they let their obligations and responsibilities get in the way of fulfilling their life's destiny and, in short, they lost themselves to others.
So, how does on who has become lost get found again?
One of the best things you can do for yourself and your loved ones is to practice self-love. Loving and respecting yourself more than anyone else is crucial because if you can't help yourself, you can't help others.
Nobody was born disliking how they looked. But some of us learnt to become insecure about our appearance as we grew up. So, reclaim that birthright. Fall in love with yourself all over again. See what you can do to enhance your appearance. We can all look and feel better by paying more attention to our wardrobe, grooming, fitness and how we carry ourselves.
Now that you have worked on the outside, it is time to work on the inside. what's holding you back? What will set you free?
self-reliance is your key to freedom. Many of us rely on others to give us fulfillment and validation, but depending on others exposes us to attacks. We also risk ending up helpless and alone.
Ask yourself if you are happy depending on others to make you happy. If not, make a list of goals to achieve a sense of self-validation and independence. The first thing on your list should be to accept responsibilities. Living your life always allowing others to make things happen for you or make your life better puts you at the mercy of others later in life. Even within a relationship, try your best to even things out. Nobody likes giving all the time. So do your part.
And focus your life to doing good whenever you can. Doing good empowers us to make us feel more useful and valuable.
In order to be true to yourself, you must find time to reboot your life to become the happy, well-adjusted person lying dormant inside of you. By taking that positive step towards finding the self-love you deserve, you open yourself to happiness and self-fulfillment and become the person you want to be!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
So, how does on who has become lost get found again?
One of the best things you can do for yourself and your loved ones is to practice self-love. Loving and respecting yourself more than anyone else is crucial because if you can't help yourself, you can't help others.
Nobody was born disliking how they looked. But some of us learnt to become insecure about our appearance as we grew up. So, reclaim that birthright. Fall in love with yourself all over again. See what you can do to enhance your appearance. We can all look and feel better by paying more attention to our wardrobe, grooming, fitness and how we carry ourselves.
Now that you have worked on the outside, it is time to work on the inside. what's holding you back? What will set you free?
self-reliance is your key to freedom. Many of us rely on others to give us fulfillment and validation, but depending on others exposes us to attacks. We also risk ending up helpless and alone.
Ask yourself if you are happy depending on others to make you happy. If not, make a list of goals to achieve a sense of self-validation and independence. The first thing on your list should be to accept responsibilities. Living your life always allowing others to make things happen for you or make your life better puts you at the mercy of others later in life. Even within a relationship, try your best to even things out. Nobody likes giving all the time. So do your part.
And focus your life to doing good whenever you can. Doing good empowers us to make us feel more useful and valuable.
In order to be true to yourself, you must find time to reboot your life to become the happy, well-adjusted person lying dormant inside of you. By taking that positive step towards finding the self-love you deserve, you open yourself to happiness and self-fulfillment and become the person you want to be!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Self Love
We all want greater happiness. And most of us seek it in things like money, fast love, power, respect, adoration and career success. But we ultimately realise that the joy we get from these things does not last.
How then, can we attain lasting happiness? The key is love - both towards yourself and towards others. Eventually, that's all that's going to matter to you.
Many people don't manage to find self-love, and as a natural consequence, genuine love for others. They spend their entire lives searching for happiness in all the wrong things.
Parents play a critical role in helping to instill a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect in their children. Through the simplest acts of touch, attention to feelings and guidance toward accomplishment, children come to see their own worth reflected in their parents' eyes. They see themselves as worthy of love.
A child who does not receive this kind of love from their parents may grow up to be insecure, dependent and fearful. They might develop a self-loathing attitude - consistently blaming themselves, and feeling that they don't deserve happiness. Or they might embark on an impossible quest for perfection - in themselves and in things like a perfect partner, a perfect job, or a perfect amusement. But the results will always be disappointing. The feeling of disappointment and helplessness may lead to physical or emotional violence or addictions to short-term gratifications like alcohol, drugs and sex.
But a negative relationship with your parents does not mean all is lost. In many ways, your inner voice is like an extra parent. as you grow older, its influence becomes stronger than your parents. What you tell yourself about yourself shapes your life. Happy and successful people talk lovingly and positively to themselves. Nurture your inner voice to speak with love, respect, optimisim and gentleness, and you're on your way to greater happiness.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
How then, can we attain lasting happiness? The key is love - both towards yourself and towards others. Eventually, that's all that's going to matter to you.
Many people don't manage to find self-love, and as a natural consequence, genuine love for others. They spend their entire lives searching for happiness in all the wrong things.
Parents play a critical role in helping to instill a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect in their children. Through the simplest acts of touch, attention to feelings and guidance toward accomplishment, children come to see their own worth reflected in their parents' eyes. They see themselves as worthy of love.
A child who does not receive this kind of love from their parents may grow up to be insecure, dependent and fearful. They might develop a self-loathing attitude - consistently blaming themselves, and feeling that they don't deserve happiness. Or they might embark on an impossible quest for perfection - in themselves and in things like a perfect partner, a perfect job, or a perfect amusement. But the results will always be disappointing. The feeling of disappointment and helplessness may lead to physical or emotional violence or addictions to short-term gratifications like alcohol, drugs and sex.
But a negative relationship with your parents does not mean all is lost. In many ways, your inner voice is like an extra parent. as you grow older, its influence becomes stronger than your parents. What you tell yourself about yourself shapes your life. Happy and successful people talk lovingly and positively to themselves. Nurture your inner voice to speak with love, respect, optimisim and gentleness, and you're on your way to greater happiness.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Fabricated Life Rules
Life is full of rules. Most of us have been taught since young to follow these rules, often without question. But rules, ironically are not as standard nor rigid as we may believe. Across different cultures and contexts, they vary indefinitely. Rules have always been made by the people in charge. And the people in charge change.
Most of us have lived our lives allowing ourselves to be bound by these rules, many of which are obstacles to our emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. Many of us still live as victims to these fabricated life rules. We are victims because although these rules make us unhappy, we accept them as fact or truth and our lives by them without question.
Here are a few examples:
First, the rule that your appearance has to be flawless. Our visual world is filled with images of people with perfect features, unblemished skin, and toned physiques. Not to mention "before and after" pictures that remind us incessantly that average bodies are not acceptable and that we should but this product or enter that slimming programme in order to feel better about ourselves. We feel inferior when we are told that we are not as good-looking as someone else.
But when we choose to defy this rule, we realize that focusing on outer appearance is superficial and ultimately unfulfilling. We realize that our inner characteristics bring us infinitely more rewards and pleasure.
Next is the rule that you ought to be in position, that you have to have a high rank, that you should attain corporate success. As a result, many of us make that goal our all-consuming desire and when we fail to attain position, we feel like failures.
Now, this is not always true. Many people doing so-called menial or low-ranking jobs live very happy lives. Because money and social power don't obscure their view of life, they tend to place more value on things like a simple life, peace of mind, family life, friendship, love and integrity.
We have all been victimized by rules like these at some time in our lives. What are some fabricated life rules you believe in that are wrecking your happiness? Choose to defy them and make your own rules.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Most of us have lived our lives allowing ourselves to be bound by these rules, many of which are obstacles to our emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. Many of us still live as victims to these fabricated life rules. We are victims because although these rules make us unhappy, we accept them as fact or truth and our lives by them without question.
Here are a few examples:
First, the rule that your appearance has to be flawless. Our visual world is filled with images of people with perfect features, unblemished skin, and toned physiques. Not to mention "before and after" pictures that remind us incessantly that average bodies are not acceptable and that we should but this product or enter that slimming programme in order to feel better about ourselves. We feel inferior when we are told that we are not as good-looking as someone else.
But when we choose to defy this rule, we realize that focusing on outer appearance is superficial and ultimately unfulfilling. We realize that our inner characteristics bring us infinitely more rewards and pleasure.
Next is the rule that you ought to be in position, that you have to have a high rank, that you should attain corporate success. As a result, many of us make that goal our all-consuming desire and when we fail to attain position, we feel like failures.
Now, this is not always true. Many people doing so-called menial or low-ranking jobs live very happy lives. Because money and social power don't obscure their view of life, they tend to place more value on things like a simple life, peace of mind, family life, friendship, love and integrity.
We have all been victimized by rules like these at some time in our lives. What are some fabricated life rules you believe in that are wrecking your happiness? Choose to defy them and make your own rules.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Healing Through Acceptance
When misfortune occurs, many people try to deny or resist it. They go through the exhausting and pointless cycle of thoughts that goes something like "No, no, this can't be happening!" or "Why is this happening to me?", usually meaning "Why is this happening to poor ol' harmless me?".
As a result, they go through long periods of emotional suffering that can be damaging to their psychological or physical health. They waste a lot of energy and time rejecting what's happening to them instead of healing themselves by accepting their situation.
Now by accepting the situation, I don't mean going through life thinking everything that happens to you is ok. What I mean is, although it's completely natural to react with disbelief and resistance when something seemingly bad happens, you can only being to mend when you accept your plight and move on.
Some things happen to us that are completely out of our hands. You might call these "acts of God" if you're the religious type, or genuine accidents that you have no control over, like natural disasters or a reckless driver in your lane.
But we have to accept responsibility for most of the things that happen to us in life. Being in a developed country in the 21st century means that most of us have all our basic needs covered - food, shelter, education, healthcare, sanitation and so on. Which leaves us with things like our emotional needs, our value systems, our desires and ambitions, and our behaviour.
These stem from our attitudes towards and perceptions of ourselves, others, our surroundings and the wider world. And we have the power to tweak these attitudes and perceptions to influence our mental well-being and potential for love, joy and success.
So when something seemingly "bad" happens to us, the fastest and most direct route to recovery is acknowledging and accepting it - "Yes, it happened. And yes, I may have had a role to play in creating it. What can I learn from this? How can I improve things? How can I improve myself? How can I move on?"
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
As a result, they go through long periods of emotional suffering that can be damaging to their psychological or physical health. They waste a lot of energy and time rejecting what's happening to them instead of healing themselves by accepting their situation.
Now by accepting the situation, I don't mean going through life thinking everything that happens to you is ok. What I mean is, although it's completely natural to react with disbelief and resistance when something seemingly bad happens, you can only being to mend when you accept your plight and move on.
Some things happen to us that are completely out of our hands. You might call these "acts of God" if you're the religious type, or genuine accidents that you have no control over, like natural disasters or a reckless driver in your lane.
But we have to accept responsibility for most of the things that happen to us in life. Being in a developed country in the 21st century means that most of us have all our basic needs covered - food, shelter, education, healthcare, sanitation and so on. Which leaves us with things like our emotional needs, our value systems, our desires and ambitions, and our behaviour.
These stem from our attitudes towards and perceptions of ourselves, others, our surroundings and the wider world. And we have the power to tweak these attitudes and perceptions to influence our mental well-being and potential for love, joy and success.
So when something seemingly "bad" happens to us, the fastest and most direct route to recovery is acknowledging and accepting it - "Yes, it happened. And yes, I may have had a role to play in creating it. What can I learn from this? How can I improve things? How can I improve myself? How can I move on?"
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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