Managing Your Expectation

If disappointment and failure are reducing you to a pulp, try lowering expectations. Yup, you heard me right - you have to lower your expectations. Now this idea runs counter to the conventional wisdom of "reaching for the starts", and "being the best in the field".

In theory, these are excellent objectives to work towards, and it's been said that "if you aim for the moon, even if you fail, you'll land among the stars". That's a beautiful idea, and I'm not disputing it, but without some control, such ideals can burn you out, create frustration, and literally destroy your drive to attain any goals. Very often, it's a case of wanting everything yesterday - you simply cannot wait for success to happen to you now, and when it does not, you lose hope.

The key is managing your expectations. This does not necessarily mean changing your goals or lowering your targets. You can keep your goals high, just don't expect to make huge leaps every time you try. Every successful businessman knows that in order to win big in the end, you may have to lose big in the beginning too. By all means, set a quota for yourself, but when you don't hit it, there's no need for your self-esteem to take a hit.

So if you feel like you've run into a wall, or bumped your head on the ceiling, your expectations of what should be are probably forcing you to take too big a bite. How can you still work towards your objectives at a more reasonable pace?

Before you go ahead and jump across that canyon, make sure that you know exactly where you want to land. It is imperative that you define exactly what it is that you ultimately want in your life. Once you know what you want, break the process to reach this "vision" down into reasonable steps.

As the crow flies may appear the fastest and easiest way to your reams, but very often, it isn't. Achieving great success in life is hardly ever as simple as making a beeline for the goal. It's like soccer or basketball, where you often have to dribble past and around defenders, sometimes even turn back, in order to score. So if you're being pummeled by consistent letdowns, try changing direction. Sometimes walking around the mountain is better than climbing beyond it.

High expectations set on a vision that is "unknown" or vaguely-defined can easily get you lost. We see where we want to go, want so badly to get there, but have no idea what it takes or what it is that we're really pursuing. Even though the vision might be reasonable, it is the perception that we have of the vision that adds unnecessary stress to our daily lives in our pursuit of that vision. So take small steps to reach your vision, and adjust your path along the way.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd