All of us love being right. We all want to appear clever and witty. In trying to be right though, we often make the false assumption that we have to make the other person wrong. This need to be right all the time can also compel us to be bossy and unpleasant and narrow-minded.
But nobody likes a Know-It-All. Besides, this need to be right all the time can become an addiction - it can make us focus on the wrong things, fuss about the details without seeing the bigger picture. It can also be a huge strain on our ego when we feel we have lost an argument or challenge. Some people spend all their time just clamouring to win in every discussion.
This need to be right stems from insecurity, a lack of self-esteem and empowerment. After all, isn't the need to be right simply the fear of being wrong? And with this fear running your life, how can you be comfortable with yourself? Or be at ease with other people? Fear almost always causes us to be suspicious and bigoted. And of course, if you're always trying to be right, you're not learning from others, and are consistently repeating your mistakes.
Life is about being yourself, accepting your flaws, learning from your mistakes, and improving on your strengths. Give yourself the freedom to be wrong! In fact, it's good to be wrong sometimes because that means you've learnt something new. You're always becoming a better person. Of course, I'm using the term "wrong" loosely here; after all, it's always just a point of view.
So if you always feel that nagging voice in your head going "Go on! Assert your authority! You have to be right! Otherwise you'll lose face!", try letting go. Give yourself permission to be wrong sometimes; express yourself more honestly and openly. You'll find that very often, people do want compromise, and there is a way to contribute to the discussion without having all your opinions validated.
Let go of the need to be right, and just listen. Really open up and analyse what's being said or unsaid. People can teach you a lot and tell you about themselves and life if you only allow them to. We're all looking for happiness and knowledge; allow yourself to learn. Ask more questions. Allow people to share their wisdom and know-how.
You'll heave a big sigh of relief that you can finally loosen that noose, I mean, tie, and allow yourself to be just human.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
