You've heard it so many times - first impressions last. It's been drummed into us since childhood, but how exactly do we make a good impression? Is it all in the look? What we say? How we say it? Well, all of it, actually. Given that we only have from 7 to 17 seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us, it becomes crucial to refine our strategies until they almost become a science. I'm going to leave out appearance though because that's the oldest tip in the book; you know the importance of grooming and attire.
Now, the first thing to remember about making great first impressions is - make the other person the star. Show that the other person (not you) is the centre of the conversation. It's only natural - we all like to talk about ourselves, but give in to that temptation when meeting a stranger and you're unlikely to earn that person's liking and respect. As they say, the most boring thing in the world is me going on and on about myself. However, if you can focus on the other person, your new acquaintance will be eager to see you again.
Next, be a good listener. Not just that, actually demonstrate that you are listening intently and effectively - give affirmative verbal and non-verbal cues like nodding, smiling, maintaining eye contact and saying things like "Great!", That's fascinating!", "Tell me more" and "What did you do next?". All this positive affirmation keeps the conversation going.
Also, use the name of your new acquaintance frequently. For example, "Joe, I really admire your energy to do so many things!" or "That must've been a thrilling experience, Vivienne!" This shows that you have centred the encounter on the other person from the start, catching his or her name during the introduction and more importantly, remembering it. Using the other person's name several times also makes the conversation more intimate and personal.
Now when it comes to humour in initial encounters, the golden rule is: when in doubt, don't use it. No humour is better than having a joke or comment backfire. Funny to you may be sarcastic or insensitive to others.
Next, give up the need to be right. A good argument might be appreciated by close friends but chances are confrontations with someone new will destroy rapport. So as a general rule, don't challenge the other person's statements, or not in an overtly adversarial way.
Finally, remember these three Cs - be Clear, Confident and Convincing.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
