It's been said that in order to live a peaceful life, one must learn to accept the things one cannot change.
Many of us continue to struggle because we choose to challenge these truths or simply are not aware of them.
One of these immutable terms of Life is that you cannot make everyone life you. People will not accept you for who you are due to whatever reason and there is usually nothing you can do about it.
Often, the reason is unknowable, influence by an endless number of factors and probably doesn't even have anything to do with you per se.
Don't take these people's words or behaviour personally. Just be true to yourself.
Another of Life's truths that we have to understand is how the world is a reflection of us. To actuate any positive change in the world, we must first positively change ourself.
If we consistently bemoan the state of our life and complain about every little thing, our world is likely to seem miserable and pointless.
But if we adopt a positive attitude and see every experience as a teacher, we will find the world rich, wondrous and full of new knowledge.
Similarly, if you are friendly and helpful towards others, they are more likely to respond to you in a similar way. Reacting towards violence with violence will only escalate the hostility.
Then there is the perennial spectre of suffering, misfortune and calamity. No matter how much happiness, comfort or success you manage to achieve in your life or for your loved one, you will always hear about people dying in wars, perishing in earthquakes and floods or beaten down by a bad economy.
To our eyes, Life will always appear unjust and unfair.
People we love will pass away and misfortune may strike us even if we are the most loving, good and kind people we know.
We can only do what we can and trust that there is a higher consciousness that moves this world the way it does.
Also inevitable in Life is change.
Many of us prefer our boats not to be rocked, but change need not be bad. It can seem disorienting, frustrating, even painful. But change leads to unforeseen benefits. Trust in change and go with the flow. Learn what you can from the experience and make the most of what results from the change.
And those are some of Life's terms that we have to accept if we want to maintain peace of mind.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Appreciation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Appreciation. Show all posts
The Richest People
It is often been said that one doesn't have to be rich to be happy. But richness doesn't have to be defined in monetary terms.
Some of the richest people in the world don't have much money. But they are wealthy in other ways.
Such "rich" people know the speed limit. Most of us know that gives our lives joy and meaning. But many people race through life so fact that they fail to pay enough attention to them. While driving on the road of Life, they are so focused on the destination that they don't appreciate what's all around them. But the destination is uncertain. Whether we will eventually reach it or not is uncertain. What is certain are the things we pass by on the way. Don't drive too fast to notice them.
Rich people understand that in life, there is bound to be disappointment, loss and failure. They don't live in the illusion that things will always be good and the ones they love will return their love and stay by their sides forever. But they understand that they can deal with life's challenges, learn from mistakes to create future successes.
Rich people place people above things. They know that no object, no matter how valuable or pleasurable can compare to the emotional and spiritual enrichment of a loved one's kind words, caring deeds and loving touch. Having said this, human beings are fallible and imperfect creatures... and they will occasionally leave or fail us. But rich people understand this, and continue to give love and compassion in spite of it.
Rich people know that being rich does not mean having a lot of money. They realise that regardless of how much money one has, one cannot hold on to it for long. But rich people also understand the benefits of having money, and will use it to make their loved ones happy and help others regularly.
Rich people see the value in labour and hardship. They have the ability to remain faithful and content no matter what challenges they face. They realise that whether times are good or bad, they are the only times we have. No one has more or less time, and it's better to make the most of the present than dwell on the past or worry about the future.
Some of the richest people in the world don't have much money. But they are wealthy in other ways.
Such "rich" people know the speed limit. Most of us know that gives our lives joy and meaning. But many people race through life so fact that they fail to pay enough attention to them. While driving on the road of Life, they are so focused on the destination that they don't appreciate what's all around them. But the destination is uncertain. Whether we will eventually reach it or not is uncertain. What is certain are the things we pass by on the way. Don't drive too fast to notice them.
Rich people understand that in life, there is bound to be disappointment, loss and failure. They don't live in the illusion that things will always be good and the ones they love will return their love and stay by their sides forever. But they understand that they can deal with life's challenges, learn from mistakes to create future successes.
Rich people place people above things. They know that no object, no matter how valuable or pleasurable can compare to the emotional and spiritual enrichment of a loved one's kind words, caring deeds and loving touch. Having said this, human beings are fallible and imperfect creatures... and they will occasionally leave or fail us. But rich people understand this, and continue to give love and compassion in spite of it.
Rich people know that being rich does not mean having a lot of money. They realise that regardless of how much money one has, one cannot hold on to it for long. But rich people also understand the benefits of having money, and will use it to make their loved ones happy and help others regularly.
Rich people see the value in labour and hardship. They have the ability to remain faithful and content no matter what challenges they face. They realise that whether times are good or bad, they are the only times we have. No one has more or less time, and it's better to make the most of the present than dwell on the past or worry about the future.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Seeing a Beautiful World
Many of us tend to focus on the negative. Turning minor misfortunes into epic tragedies. Thinking about what we don't have, instead of what we do have. Getting jealous of others who seem to have better looks and more money, instead of exploring meaningful experiences that have nothing to do with all these things.
I wonder if primitive civilisations suffered the same problem. I doubt it... they were probably too busy meeting their basic survival needs to spin webs of woe in their minds.
It's ironic that in a society where the average man arguably has "everything" he needs... good health, good healthcare, abundant food, a sturdy roof over his head, and all the material comforts anyone could wish for... that he can be unhappy.
American writer and critic Barbara Johnson wrote about an experience on the way home from work, and how it changed her perspective of life:
The day started out rotten. I overslept and was late for work. Everything that happened at the office contributed to my nervous frenzy. By the time I reached the bus stop for my homeward trip, my stomach was one big knot.
As usual, the bus was late - and jammed. I had to stand in the aisle. As the lurching vehicle pulled me in all directions, my gloom deepened.
Then I heard a deep voice from up front, "Beautiful day, isn't it?"
Because of the crowd, I could not see the man, but I could hear him as he continued to comment on the spring scenery, calling attention to each approaching landmark. This church. That park, That cemetery. That firehouse. Soon, all the passengers were gazing out the windows. This man's enthusiasm was so contagious that I found myself smiling for the first time that day.
We reached my stop. Maneuvering toward the door, I got a look at our "guide" - a plump figure with a black beard, wearing dark glasses, and carrying a thin white cane.
Sometimes, we get so preoccupied with making a living that we forget to live. We forget that the world, with all its problems, is still a really rather wonderful and miraculous place. And that this life, with all its upsets and disappointments, its misery and pain, its sharp points and apparent pointlessness, is still fabulously, wonderfully worth living and enjoying.
I wonder if primitive civilisations suffered the same problem. I doubt it... they were probably too busy meeting their basic survival needs to spin webs of woe in their minds.
It's ironic that in a society where the average man arguably has "everything" he needs... good health, good healthcare, abundant food, a sturdy roof over his head, and all the material comforts anyone could wish for... that he can be unhappy.
American writer and critic Barbara Johnson wrote about an experience on the way home from work, and how it changed her perspective of life:
The day started out rotten. I overslept and was late for work. Everything that happened at the office contributed to my nervous frenzy. By the time I reached the bus stop for my homeward trip, my stomach was one big knot.
As usual, the bus was late - and jammed. I had to stand in the aisle. As the lurching vehicle pulled me in all directions, my gloom deepened.
Then I heard a deep voice from up front, "Beautiful day, isn't it?"
Because of the crowd, I could not see the man, but I could hear him as he continued to comment on the spring scenery, calling attention to each approaching landmark. This church. That park, That cemetery. That firehouse. Soon, all the passengers were gazing out the windows. This man's enthusiasm was so contagious that I found myself smiling for the first time that day.
We reached my stop. Maneuvering toward the door, I got a look at our "guide" - a plump figure with a black beard, wearing dark glasses, and carrying a thin white cane.
Sometimes, we get so preoccupied with making a living that we forget to live. We forget that the world, with all its problems, is still a really rather wonderful and miraculous place. And that this life, with all its upsets and disappointments, its misery and pain, its sharp points and apparent pointlessness, is still fabulously, wonderfully worth living and enjoying.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Growing Older
If you are a teenager or are in your 20s, I'm pretty sure that you are thoroughly enjoy youth and haven't yet thought about aging. But growing older is something that happens to everyone. In fact, it's happening all the time.
For all its vigour and exuberance, youth can also be a time of folly, of childish whims and facies, of insecurity and self-absorption. Although it cannot be said that wisdom comes only with age, it is true that we all learn from experience. That is why our perspective changes as we grow older.
Have you ever thought about what kind of person you would like to become as you grow older? Do you hope to be more tolerant perhaps? Laugh more, maybe? Care less about what other people say and think? What about focusing more on self-improvement?
One of the gifts I have gained from growing older myself is a fuller and more secure sense of self. Disapproving voices no longer chatter as loudly or as frequently in my head. I am more comfortable with who I am and what I say or do, and are less inclined to be affected by what others think ot say. Instead, I pay more attention to the person I want to be and continue my development in the paths that I choose.
As I grow older, I hope also that I learn to talk less and listen more. Think more deeply before saying or doing something. And to let go of the need to be right all the time. To accept that we all make mistakes, but we can all learn to avoid making the same ones in the future.
What about you? What would you like to grow into as you age? What are the traits in admire in the older people you know? perhaps it's to be more generous? To share more of your wealth, your wisdom, your humour, your time. Maybe it's to treat each new day as a blessing, a bonus and a day not to be wasted on sour moods.
Maybe some of us would like to be less envious of what other people have, and focus more on how we can make the best of what we have. Envy just makes us bitter, whereas with self-improvement comes more empowerment and self-confidence.
What about becoming less obsessed with the details? To take life more lightly, and not make everything an event or disaster? To let go of the need to straighten everything and everybody out and just heave a great big sigh of relief and just enjoy things as they are?
Let age teach us to be more thoughtful, more self-aware, accepting and loving, of ourselves and others.
For all its vigour and exuberance, youth can also be a time of folly, of childish whims and facies, of insecurity and self-absorption. Although it cannot be said that wisdom comes only with age, it is true that we all learn from experience. That is why our perspective changes as we grow older.
Have you ever thought about what kind of person you would like to become as you grow older? Do you hope to be more tolerant perhaps? Laugh more, maybe? Care less about what other people say and think? What about focusing more on self-improvement?
One of the gifts I have gained from growing older myself is a fuller and more secure sense of self. Disapproving voices no longer chatter as loudly or as frequently in my head. I am more comfortable with who I am and what I say or do, and are less inclined to be affected by what others think ot say. Instead, I pay more attention to the person I want to be and continue my development in the paths that I choose.
As I grow older, I hope also that I learn to talk less and listen more. Think more deeply before saying or doing something. And to let go of the need to be right all the time. To accept that we all make mistakes, but we can all learn to avoid making the same ones in the future.
What about you? What would you like to grow into as you age? What are the traits in admire in the older people you know? perhaps it's to be more generous? To share more of your wealth, your wisdom, your humour, your time. Maybe it's to treat each new day as a blessing, a bonus and a day not to be wasted on sour moods.
Maybe some of us would like to be less envious of what other people have, and focus more on how we can make the best of what we have. Envy just makes us bitter, whereas with self-improvement comes more empowerment and self-confidence.
What about becoming less obsessed with the details? To take life more lightly, and not make everything an event or disaster? To let go of the need to straighten everything and everybody out and just heave a great big sigh of relief and just enjoy things as they are?
Let age teach us to be more thoughtful, more self-aware, accepting and loving, of ourselves and others.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Getting Rid of Envy
Are you feeling jealous of the success, beauty, or intelligence of a friend? Do you find yourself wishing you were as lucky as him or her? Is it possible that subconsciously you may wish them wrong, look for faults in the person in order to feel better about yourself?
Envy happens to us all. When we perceive qualities we deem to be superior to our own in others, it's normal to feel dissatisfied. But what do we do about this discontentment? Do we allow it to fester and reveal itself in hateful forms?
While we are busy being bitter what the other person is doing, they are busy pursuing their own lives. They are chasing their own dreams, improving their minds and bodies and so on. So while they get the results they want in life, we remain stagnant... paralysed by our frustrations.
So if the green eyed monster is frequently taking bites out of you, here are some ways you can get rid of it.
Take time to get to know yourself better. Instead of squandering your precious time on other people, identify your own talents and strengths. How can you develop them? The more you understand your true emotions and desires, the less you would want anyone else's life or success.
Work continuously to improve yourself. People are not born perfect or superior to others. But successful individuals have the ability to stay open-minded and acquire or enhance their skills.
Understand that everyone is different. There are attributes in others you could not possibly possess no matter what you do, but in the same way, you have wonderful qualities nobody else has. Remember, always focus on your advantages.
Measure success in your own terms. A CEO may earn tons more than you but do you really want his life? His workload, his responsibilities, his duties? You can be successful in your own way.
The reality of life is that no matter how powerful, rich or successful you may become there is always going to be someone on top of you. But, do not forget, this rule can also be applied the other way too. There is always someone less fortunate than you. So appreciate what you have.
And go relentlessly after your dreams. Once you achieve some of your goals, your self-esteem will receive a boost and the less space you will have in your life for the green-eyed monster.
Envy happens to us all. When we perceive qualities we deem to be superior to our own in others, it's normal to feel dissatisfied. But what do we do about this discontentment? Do we allow it to fester and reveal itself in hateful forms?
While we are busy being bitter what the other person is doing, they are busy pursuing their own lives. They are chasing their own dreams, improving their minds and bodies and so on. So while they get the results they want in life, we remain stagnant... paralysed by our frustrations.
So if the green eyed monster is frequently taking bites out of you, here are some ways you can get rid of it.
Take time to get to know yourself better. Instead of squandering your precious time on other people, identify your own talents and strengths. How can you develop them? The more you understand your true emotions and desires, the less you would want anyone else's life or success.
Work continuously to improve yourself. People are not born perfect or superior to others. But successful individuals have the ability to stay open-minded and acquire or enhance their skills.
Understand that everyone is different. There are attributes in others you could not possibly possess no matter what you do, but in the same way, you have wonderful qualities nobody else has. Remember, always focus on your advantages.
Measure success in your own terms. A CEO may earn tons more than you but do you really want his life? His workload, his responsibilities, his duties? You can be successful in your own way.
The reality of life is that no matter how powerful, rich or successful you may become there is always going to be someone on top of you. But, do not forget, this rule can also be applied the other way too. There is always someone less fortunate than you. So appreciate what you have.
And go relentlessly after your dreams. Once you achieve some of your goals, your self-esteem will receive a boost and the less space you will have in your life for the green-eyed monster.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Fabricated Life Rules
Life is full of rules. Most of us have been taught since young to follow these rules, often without question. But rules, ironically are not as standard nor rigid as we may believe. Across different cultures and contexts, they vary indefinitely. Rules have always been made by the people in charge. And the people in charge change.
Most of us have lived our lives allowing ourselves to be bound by these rules, many of which are obstacles to our emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. Many of us still live as victims to these fabricated life rules. We are victims because although these rules make us unhappy, we accept them as fact or truth and our lives by them without question.
Here are a few examples:
First, the rule that your appearance has to be flawless. Our visual world is filled with images of people with perfect features, unblemished skin, and toned physiques. Not to mention "before and after" pictures that remind us incessantly that average bodies are not acceptable and that we should but this product or enter that slimming programme in order to feel better about ourselves. We feel inferior when we are told that we are not as good-looking as someone else.
But when we choose to defy this rule, we realize that focusing on outer appearance is superficial and ultimately unfulfilling. We realize that our inner characteristics bring us infinitely more rewards and pleasure.
Next is the rule that you ought to be in position, that you have to have a high rank, that you should attain corporate success. As a result, many of us make that goal our all-consuming desire and when we fail to attain position, we feel like failures.
Now, this is not always true. Many people doing so-called menial or low-ranking jobs live very happy lives. Because money and social power don't obscure their view of life, they tend to place more value on things like a simple life, peace of mind, family life, friendship, love and integrity.
We have all been victimized by rules like these at some time in our lives. What are some fabricated life rules you believe in that are wrecking your happiness? Choose to defy them and make your own rules.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Most of us have lived our lives allowing ourselves to be bound by these rules, many of which are obstacles to our emotional fulfillment and spiritual growth. Many of us still live as victims to these fabricated life rules. We are victims because although these rules make us unhappy, we accept them as fact or truth and our lives by them without question.
Here are a few examples:
First, the rule that your appearance has to be flawless. Our visual world is filled with images of people with perfect features, unblemished skin, and toned physiques. Not to mention "before and after" pictures that remind us incessantly that average bodies are not acceptable and that we should but this product or enter that slimming programme in order to feel better about ourselves. We feel inferior when we are told that we are not as good-looking as someone else.
But when we choose to defy this rule, we realize that focusing on outer appearance is superficial and ultimately unfulfilling. We realize that our inner characteristics bring us infinitely more rewards and pleasure.
Next is the rule that you ought to be in position, that you have to have a high rank, that you should attain corporate success. As a result, many of us make that goal our all-consuming desire and when we fail to attain position, we feel like failures.
Now, this is not always true. Many people doing so-called menial or low-ranking jobs live very happy lives. Because money and social power don't obscure their view of life, they tend to place more value on things like a simple life, peace of mind, family life, friendship, love and integrity.
We have all been victimized by rules like these at some time in our lives. What are some fabricated life rules you believe in that are wrecking your happiness? Choose to defy them and make your own rules.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Attracting the Right People
Why do we seem to attract the same type of people or situations over and over again? Why do you meet the people you meet? Why do you consistently get yourself into positions or places where you feel frustrated or powerless?
Almost all of us, at some point in our lives, has thought about these questions.
Well, our relationships are reflections of what we desire in our lives, either consciously or unconsciously. When we communicate to the creative centre in our mind that we only deserve this much, that we are not worthy of better people or better things, then that's just what we get. You attract what you think about, what you believe.
All of our relationships with friends, romantic partners, co-workers and even casual acquaintances tell us something about ourselves. When we recognize and play attention to the teachings of the people around us, we have the opportunity to improve our circumstances and ourselves.
So how can you attract more fulfilling, mature and lasting relationships?
Begin writing down what's lacking in your relationships or what's irritating you. By creating this list of what doesn't make you feel good, you can learn to focus on what you actually do want from your connections with other people. It can also help you begin making small changes in the kind of people you see as a potential mate of friend.
Acknowledge you gratitude for having these connections with other people. Rather than focusing on how much you want things to change, begin to focus on your relationships as learning about yourself. Using gratitude to convey that you are on your learning path can help communicate a sense of well being all through yourself that others can perceive as well. By focusing on what the other person is helping you with, you can shift your attention to their positive traits as well, thus allowing yourself to create a different reaction to being in this person's presence and allowing the connection to shift into a better relationship.
By choosing to recognize the learning experiences offered by our connections with other people, we can bring ourselves into better spiritual alignment with ourselves. This can enable us to live happier, healthier and more productive lives as well as create better relationships with other people. as you continue to work with these learning possibilities with others, you can create a different response to life, enabling yourself to feel more balanced and in tune with yourself and everyhing around you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Almost all of us, at some point in our lives, has thought about these questions.
Well, our relationships are reflections of what we desire in our lives, either consciously or unconsciously. When we communicate to the creative centre in our mind that we only deserve this much, that we are not worthy of better people or better things, then that's just what we get. You attract what you think about, what you believe.
All of our relationships with friends, romantic partners, co-workers and even casual acquaintances tell us something about ourselves. When we recognize and play attention to the teachings of the people around us, we have the opportunity to improve our circumstances and ourselves.
So how can you attract more fulfilling, mature and lasting relationships?
Begin writing down what's lacking in your relationships or what's irritating you. By creating this list of what doesn't make you feel good, you can learn to focus on what you actually do want from your connections with other people. It can also help you begin making small changes in the kind of people you see as a potential mate of friend.
Acknowledge you gratitude for having these connections with other people. Rather than focusing on how much you want things to change, begin to focus on your relationships as learning about yourself. Using gratitude to convey that you are on your learning path can help communicate a sense of well being all through yourself that others can perceive as well. By focusing on what the other person is helping you with, you can shift your attention to their positive traits as well, thus allowing yourself to create a different reaction to being in this person's presence and allowing the connection to shift into a better relationship.
By choosing to recognize the learning experiences offered by our connections with other people, we can bring ourselves into better spiritual alignment with ourselves. This can enable us to live happier, healthier and more productive lives as well as create better relationships with other people. as you continue to work with these learning possibilities with others, you can create a different response to life, enabling yourself to feel more balanced and in tune with yourself and everyhing around you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Giving and Receiving
Today, let’s reflect on giving and receiving. Both are equally important to your emotional health, and if your scales are excessively skewed, it’s time to review some of your habits and beliefs. Just like inhaling and exhaling, giving and receiving both need equal attention, otherwise, the body feels uncomfortable and inefficient. Both are cycles that establish their own equilibrium.
Think about it… When you exhale fully, you make room for new air to come in. You also create a vacuum that pulls oxygen in. In the same way, if you are giving more than you are receiving, at some point you will not have anything left to give. If you are receiving more than you are giving, at some point there will be no "space" for you to receive anything else.
If you're not receiving enough, you need to open yourself up to receive more of what is already being given to you.
For example, when someone compliments you, say "Thank you." Do not deflect what they have said – let it in! Receive this person's appreciation for you.
When someone invites you to something, allow yourself to feel included and wanted. Don't look for explanations or complications. Take it at face value.
When someone asks you what they can do to help you out, don't turn them down. Think of all the ways they might assist you and pick one; then let them help you. Many people refuse help unless they are just about desperate; they fear that if they take help when they don't absolutely need it, when they do need it, it won't be there. But that's not the way the dynamic works. When you consistently refuse help, you stop the flow.
When you come across something that’s beautiful to you, such as a sunset, a rain puddle or a colourful insect, allow its beauty to seep into your soul. If you witness something that touches, moves, or inspires you, open up your heart fully to receive the experience. Don’t dismiss it as weak sentimentality. Feel it. Your heart needs it.
And when you receive a gift, receive the whole gift. And this includes the thought, time and energy that went into getting you the gift. You may be thinking “I don’t need another shirt” or “another bag”, but you do need the gift behind the gift. Let it in.
We tried out a few ways of increasing your receptivity if you’re not receiving enough. But what if you’re not giving enough?
First of all, tell the people in your life what you appreciate about them - the things you admire, respect, enjoy, envy, and are awed by. How often do you let your friends and family know how much you appreciate them?
Extend this gift of appreciation to colleagues and associates. Even people you had a brief encounter with; if they impressed you or was good to you or did a favour for you, tell them how much it meant. Be generous with your appreciation. It costs you nothing but it makes them feel great, and you’ll feel wonderful too.
When you go to someone else's home, bring them something – some fruit, a drink, a flower, even a note.
Introduce people who could benefit from knowing each other socially or professionally. You may feel awkward the first few times you do this, but it is a completely learnable skill and a wonderful way to be of service to the people in your life.
Invite people to your home; give the gift of an event that brings people together.
Give away stuff you don't use any more - dusty books clogging up your cupboards and shelves, CDs you never listen to anymore, bags, clothes, even appliances. These things have much more value in them yet in other hands.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Think about it… When you exhale fully, you make room for new air to come in. You also create a vacuum that pulls oxygen in. In the same way, if you are giving more than you are receiving, at some point you will not have anything left to give. If you are receiving more than you are giving, at some point there will be no "space" for you to receive anything else.
If you're not receiving enough, you need to open yourself up to receive more of what is already being given to you.
For example, when someone compliments you, say "Thank you." Do not deflect what they have said – let it in! Receive this person's appreciation for you.
When someone invites you to something, allow yourself to feel included and wanted. Don't look for explanations or complications. Take it at face value.
When someone asks you what they can do to help you out, don't turn them down. Think of all the ways they might assist you and pick one; then let them help you. Many people refuse help unless they are just about desperate; they fear that if they take help when they don't absolutely need it, when they do need it, it won't be there. But that's not the way the dynamic works. When you consistently refuse help, you stop the flow.
When you come across something that’s beautiful to you, such as a sunset, a rain puddle or a colourful insect, allow its beauty to seep into your soul. If you witness something that touches, moves, or inspires you, open up your heart fully to receive the experience. Don’t dismiss it as weak sentimentality. Feel it. Your heart needs it.
And when you receive a gift, receive the whole gift. And this includes the thought, time and energy that went into getting you the gift. You may be thinking “I don’t need another shirt” or “another bag”, but you do need the gift behind the gift. Let it in.
We tried out a few ways of increasing your receptivity if you’re not receiving enough. But what if you’re not giving enough?
First of all, tell the people in your life what you appreciate about them - the things you admire, respect, enjoy, envy, and are awed by. How often do you let your friends and family know how much you appreciate them?
Extend this gift of appreciation to colleagues and associates. Even people you had a brief encounter with; if they impressed you or was good to you or did a favour for you, tell them how much it meant. Be generous with your appreciation. It costs you nothing but it makes them feel great, and you’ll feel wonderful too.
When you go to someone else's home, bring them something – some fruit, a drink, a flower, even a note.
Introduce people who could benefit from knowing each other socially or professionally. You may feel awkward the first few times you do this, but it is a completely learnable skill and a wonderful way to be of service to the people in your life.
Invite people to your home; give the gift of an event that brings people together.
Give away stuff you don't use any more - dusty books clogging up your cupboards and shelves, CDs you never listen to anymore, bags, clothes, even appliances. These things have much more value in them yet in other hands.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Recovering from a Disastrous First Date
First dates. Most of us have experienced our fair share of less than favourable ones. In fact, some of them might even be described as "disastrous". Meeting a romantic prospect for the first time is a tricky endeavour, and if it doesn't go well, the effects could stay with you a long, long time. For some, the memory of disastrous first dates is enough to make them a nervous wreck on subsequent dates.
so what can you do to receover from a disastrous first date?
First and most crucial, forgive yourself. Most of us, when under stress, do things we wouldn't normally do. If you thought you talked too much, or not enough, if you laughed too much, overreacted to some statement, or done some incredibly unattractive thing, don't be too hard on yourself. We're often harder on ourselves than we would be on another person.
So show some compassion toward yourself. It's natural to feel nervous on a first date. And nobody gets everything right, not even people who are attractive, intelligent and confident. The only reason why these people seem to fare better than others is that they forgive themselves more readily, and get over awkward situations more easily.
Once you've learnt to forgive yourself for not performing as well as you would've liked on a first date, you can go on to forgive the other person. Yes, we may like to believe that we don't pre-judge or judge people superficially, but on some subconscious level, we all do. And that can very often spoil an otherwise great date. So do not expect the other person to live up to all your expectations. By taking for granted that first dates usually don't go well, you take a big step forward in emotional maturity. Unless the other person was abusive or rude, they deserve a second chance.
Now, if you did something awkward or that warrants an apology, follow up with a gift or flowers and a simple note of apology or explanation. Don't wirte off your chances simply because you think you did something out of line. Most people are more forgiving than you think, and besides, your willingness to try again might impress the other party.
And don't let experience affect your self-confidence. You have many good qualities, and just because this person didn't recognize them, that doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there who can. The most important thing is to be honest, be your authentic self. You deserve someone who will appreciate for who you really are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
so what can you do to receover from a disastrous first date?
First and most crucial, forgive yourself. Most of us, when under stress, do things we wouldn't normally do. If you thought you talked too much, or not enough, if you laughed too much, overreacted to some statement, or done some incredibly unattractive thing, don't be too hard on yourself. We're often harder on ourselves than we would be on another person.
So show some compassion toward yourself. It's natural to feel nervous on a first date. And nobody gets everything right, not even people who are attractive, intelligent and confident. The only reason why these people seem to fare better than others is that they forgive themselves more readily, and get over awkward situations more easily.
Once you've learnt to forgive yourself for not performing as well as you would've liked on a first date, you can go on to forgive the other person. Yes, we may like to believe that we don't pre-judge or judge people superficially, but on some subconscious level, we all do. And that can very often spoil an otherwise great date. So do not expect the other person to live up to all your expectations. By taking for granted that first dates usually don't go well, you take a big step forward in emotional maturity. Unless the other person was abusive or rude, they deserve a second chance.
Now, if you did something awkward or that warrants an apology, follow up with a gift or flowers and a simple note of apology or explanation. Don't wirte off your chances simply because you think you did something out of line. Most people are more forgiving than you think, and besides, your willingness to try again might impress the other party.
And don't let experience affect your self-confidence. You have many good qualities, and just because this person didn't recognize them, that doesn't mean there isn't someone else out there who can. The most important thing is to be honest, be your authentic self. You deserve someone who will appreciate for who you really are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Accepting Compliments
How do you respond when someone says to you - "That's a nice shirt!", "I really liked that presentation you did!", "Your website is so well done!", or "Nice haircut!"?
Do you usually view the compliment with suspicion or disbelief? Are you usually dismissive - "No, this old thing? I only wear it because it's comfy" or "No, I thought I was really nervous!"
Many people are uncomfortable with praise and compliments. We can be so busy judging ourselves harshly that we don't quite know what to do with positive feedback. We almost wish people would just "come out and say it," "it" being the negative thing that they're REALLY thinking, just to prove our negative self-perception.
What we should be doing though is learning to embrace positive feedback and accept compliments graciously. By doing this, we open up the door for more positive thoughts and interactions, and we actually start to believe them.
Here are some steps towards accepting compliments graciously.
1. Notice. Begin by noticing what you tend to say when someone gives you a compliment. Do you minimize it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing"? Do you challenge it by saying, "No, I don't look good, I look awful!" or do you find yourself so uncomfortable that you're at a complete loss for words?
2. Practice. You can learn to accept compliments more graciously. After noticing what you tend to do now, decide how you'd like to respond the next time you receive a compliment. Then, practice saying your new response until saying it feels natural and sincere. A warm and heartfelt, "thank you" coupled with a smile is always appropriate and is usually enough. Be cautious of feeling the need to explain, justify, or return a compliment automatically.
3. Focus on the person who's giving you the compliment. Expect the best and act on the assumption that the person is sincere. Focus on being kind and courteous to that person. If you make them feel good by accepting their compliment with genuine appreciation, they'll remember that and speak up the next time they have something positive to share with you.
4. Try it from the other side. Another way to get better at accepting compliments is to give more compliments. Notice how other people receive them. This can improve your relationships greatly, because now you'll be focused more on the other person. As you're looking for positive things to compliment them on, you'll also be keeping your thoughs more positive overall, and you'll have less time for worrying and negative thinking.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Do you usually view the compliment with suspicion or disbelief? Are you usually dismissive - "No, this old thing? I only wear it because it's comfy" or "No, I thought I was really nervous!"
Many people are uncomfortable with praise and compliments. We can be so busy judging ourselves harshly that we don't quite know what to do with positive feedback. We almost wish people would just "come out and say it," "it" being the negative thing that they're REALLY thinking, just to prove our negative self-perception.
What we should be doing though is learning to embrace positive feedback and accept compliments graciously. By doing this, we open up the door for more positive thoughts and interactions, and we actually start to believe them.
Here are some steps towards accepting compliments graciously.
1. Notice. Begin by noticing what you tend to say when someone gives you a compliment. Do you minimize it by saying, "Oh, it was nothing"? Do you challenge it by saying, "No, I don't look good, I look awful!" or do you find yourself so uncomfortable that you're at a complete loss for words?
2. Practice. You can learn to accept compliments more graciously. After noticing what you tend to do now, decide how you'd like to respond the next time you receive a compliment. Then, practice saying your new response until saying it feels natural and sincere. A warm and heartfelt, "thank you" coupled with a smile is always appropriate and is usually enough. Be cautious of feeling the need to explain, justify, or return a compliment automatically.
3. Focus on the person who's giving you the compliment. Expect the best and act on the assumption that the person is sincere. Focus on being kind and courteous to that person. If you make them feel good by accepting their compliment with genuine appreciation, they'll remember that and speak up the next time they have something positive to share with you.
4. Try it from the other side. Another way to get better at accepting compliments is to give more compliments. Notice how other people receive them. This can improve your relationships greatly, because now you'll be focused more on the other person. As you're looking for positive things to compliment them on, you'll also be keeping your thoughs more positive overall, and you'll have less time for worrying and negative thinking.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Why Are You Not Thriving?
When entrepreneurs start a business, they do so with the aim of building a vast and thriving empire. Why not, right? Yet, when we think about building lives, how many of us do so with the same goal in mind?
Are you thriving? Are you channeling your resources into building a rich, joyful and vibrant life? Why?
Well, here are the top reasons why many of us are not thriving.
First of all, you're holding on to old emotional baggage. Most of the emotion you feel in a day is not even about the day itself. You are just recycling old emotional baggage that has never been cleared. It's so familiar, it's become a part of you, yet it causes you discomfort because it's not meant to be part of your true identity.
It could be an especially hard break-up, and you've never really gotten over that person. It could be the feeling that you let a loved one down. Or guilt over something you feel was the result of you mistake. There's nothing you can do about the past; what counts is what you do from now on. So search your soul, find whatever it is that's bugging you, and release it. This is the most important first step to building a thriving life.
Another reason why you're not living a full life is because you keep focusing on what you don't want. Your mind is in the habit of "figuring out" what you need to change to make your life better. Your thinking mind is convinced that that's how the problem will be solved; yet, that is what keeps the problem constant and present in your life.
But whatever you focus on, you create more of. So stop thinking about what you don't want, what you don't have, what you fear, what you loathe. Welcome new vibrant energy to attract to you insights, answers, and resources to your problem.
Another reason why you're not thriving is because you've bought into the collective belief that you can barely survive and are just getting by.
The world offers us one reality to believe in. That's the one most people believe in because it's what they see and hear, it's easy, that's the way the world is, "C'est la vie" and so on. Everyday, we're told and shown how "times are heard", "Nowhere is safe anymore", "the economy is bad", "love hurts", "old age is scary", "there's nothing after death" and so on.
But even though the world is choosing this reality, you don't have to. We are only bound by belief. Choose beliefs that help you create a thriving reality. Such as "times are good for you and your family", "you are happy, healthy and loving". You can choose to live in the moment and focus on how wonderful life is. Change your beliefs and change your life.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Are you thriving? Are you channeling your resources into building a rich, joyful and vibrant life? Why?
Well, here are the top reasons why many of us are not thriving.
First of all, you're holding on to old emotional baggage. Most of the emotion you feel in a day is not even about the day itself. You are just recycling old emotional baggage that has never been cleared. It's so familiar, it's become a part of you, yet it causes you discomfort because it's not meant to be part of your true identity.
It could be an especially hard break-up, and you've never really gotten over that person. It could be the feeling that you let a loved one down. Or guilt over something you feel was the result of you mistake. There's nothing you can do about the past; what counts is what you do from now on. So search your soul, find whatever it is that's bugging you, and release it. This is the most important first step to building a thriving life.
Another reason why you're not living a full life is because you keep focusing on what you don't want. Your mind is in the habit of "figuring out" what you need to change to make your life better. Your thinking mind is convinced that that's how the problem will be solved; yet, that is what keeps the problem constant and present in your life.
But whatever you focus on, you create more of. So stop thinking about what you don't want, what you don't have, what you fear, what you loathe. Welcome new vibrant energy to attract to you insights, answers, and resources to your problem.
Another reason why you're not thriving is because you've bought into the collective belief that you can barely survive and are just getting by.
The world offers us one reality to believe in. That's the one most people believe in because it's what they see and hear, it's easy, that's the way the world is, "C'est la vie" and so on. Everyday, we're told and shown how "times are heard", "Nowhere is safe anymore", "the economy is bad", "love hurts", "old age is scary", "there's nothing after death" and so on.
But even though the world is choosing this reality, you don't have to. We are only bound by belief. Choose beliefs that help you create a thriving reality. Such as "times are good for you and your family", "you are happy, healthy and loving". You can choose to live in the moment and focus on how wonderful life is. Change your beliefs and change your life.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Voluntary Simplicity
In such a hectic world, the virtues of simplicity and contentment have been displaced by greed and excess. Our lives are filled with "stuff" - things to do, things to buy, shows to watch, emails to read. But if you take a moment to examine your possessions and activities, how many of them really improve the quality of your life?
The term 'voluntary simplicity' is used to describe a process whereby people opt out of the harried life of modern day living, and choose to live a life of frugality. Frugality in the sense of enjoying the virtue of getting good value for every minute of your life energy and from everything you have. Because when you think about it, how much do you really need? How much of your "stuff" do you actually use?
As we search for meaning in our lives, we start to become aware of the emptiness and shallowness of a life based on materialism and consumerism. We become aware of the tremendous amount of life force that we expend just to keep up with the 'rat race'. We start the search of a life of deeper meaning and ask ourselves 'what gives us joy?'
What we don't realise is that we are spiritual beings, in a physical body, and when we don't connect the internal (spiritual) and the external (physical), our lives increasingly lose a sense of balance or harmony. What are the expectation and assumptions that drive us to live our lives like zombies? How much 'life force' energy are we prepared to exchange for the material goods we consume?
If you've bought into the prevailing system, stop and think about why your life seems increasingly futile no matter how much you do and how much you buy. Here are some ways you can simplify your life for more inner peace and clarity.
Have a Buy Nothing Day.
Look at the foods you consume. Do you really need so much? Choose more simply prepared and natural foods. Replacing meat, fats, and grease with veggies and fruits may seem unappetizing at first, but believe me, after a while, you will feel and look better.
Use non-toxic products such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and salt in your home and garden (if you have one).
Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.
Decide what is really working in your life and let go of what which no longer serves you.
Surround yourself with what you really need and love.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
The term 'voluntary simplicity' is used to describe a process whereby people opt out of the harried life of modern day living, and choose to live a life of frugality. Frugality in the sense of enjoying the virtue of getting good value for every minute of your life energy and from everything you have. Because when you think about it, how much do you really need? How much of your "stuff" do you actually use?
As we search for meaning in our lives, we start to become aware of the emptiness and shallowness of a life based on materialism and consumerism. We become aware of the tremendous amount of life force that we expend just to keep up with the 'rat race'. We start the search of a life of deeper meaning and ask ourselves 'what gives us joy?'
What we don't realise is that we are spiritual beings, in a physical body, and when we don't connect the internal (spiritual) and the external (physical), our lives increasingly lose a sense of balance or harmony. What are the expectation and assumptions that drive us to live our lives like zombies? How much 'life force' energy are we prepared to exchange for the material goods we consume?
If you've bought into the prevailing system, stop and think about why your life seems increasingly futile no matter how much you do and how much you buy. Here are some ways you can simplify your life for more inner peace and clarity.
Have a Buy Nothing Day.
Look at the foods you consume. Do you really need so much? Choose more simply prepared and natural foods. Replacing meat, fats, and grease with veggies and fruits may seem unappetizing at first, but believe me, after a while, you will feel and look better.
Use non-toxic products such as vinegar, baking soda, lemon, and salt in your home and garden (if you have one).
Before you buy something, write the item down on a note and if you still want it after a month, purchase it then.
Decide what is really working in your life and let go of what which no longer serves you.
Surround yourself with what you really need and love.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Quit Complaining
Life won't go your way all the time. In fact, we're in a constant state of flux between good and, for lack of a better word, "bad" times.
This state of flux is designed to help us grow into the kind of human beings we can be, to help us understand how we fit into the larger scheme of things, and to prevent our minds and bodies from declining in a state of inertia.
Economic cycles for example, with their booms and downturns, are remarkably consistent, even with our ostensible understanding of the financial markets. Recessionary times, like other "bad" times are a fact of life. They can be unpleasant and disappointing, and for many of us these days, utterly crushing, but they are an essential part of life.
Without them, we would become complacent and slothful, success and love wouldn't fill our hearts with as much joy, and there would be no push towards improving ourselves.
However, when circumstances take twists and turns we can't predict, we often feel discouraged. And we feel an urge to complain. Some people feel it's a right. The so-called logic is 'If the world is treating me unkindly, why shouldn't I make some noise about it?"
Well, the "noise" may release some tension initially, but complaining doesn't solve anything. besides, it produces a negative mindset. It forces us to unwittingly dwell on what's wrong in our lives instead of focusing on what we can change or do to make things right. When complaining becomes a part of you, you're inviting a lot of negative energy into your life.
When something goes differently than we had planned or when something that's difficult pops up unexpectedly, we should allow ourselves to feel the confusion, anger, or whatever other emotion comes along as a result.
But once you have vented, prevent yourself from dwelling on the thing that caused the negative emotion. Quit complaining. When you complain, you tell several people over and over about what went wrong. Your mind is focused on the horrible thing. You bring others down by your complaining. And you bring yourself down.
So after venting, allow yourself to pick up the pieces and see where you can go from where you are. What can you do to make things better? How can you respond so that meeting your main priority is still your focus? Think about things that have gone right in your life. Appreciate what you have been able to achieve so far.
So if life is dealing you all the wrong cards at the moment, go ahead and vent, but quite complaining. You will be in a much better position to handle things the next time they don't go your way. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation for life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
This state of flux is designed to help us grow into the kind of human beings we can be, to help us understand how we fit into the larger scheme of things, and to prevent our minds and bodies from declining in a state of inertia.
Economic cycles for example, with their booms and downturns, are remarkably consistent, even with our ostensible understanding of the financial markets. Recessionary times, like other "bad" times are a fact of life. They can be unpleasant and disappointing, and for many of us these days, utterly crushing, but they are an essential part of life.
Without them, we would become complacent and slothful, success and love wouldn't fill our hearts with as much joy, and there would be no push towards improving ourselves.
However, when circumstances take twists and turns we can't predict, we often feel discouraged. And we feel an urge to complain. Some people feel it's a right. The so-called logic is 'If the world is treating me unkindly, why shouldn't I make some noise about it?"
Well, the "noise" may release some tension initially, but complaining doesn't solve anything. besides, it produces a negative mindset. It forces us to unwittingly dwell on what's wrong in our lives instead of focusing on what we can change or do to make things right. When complaining becomes a part of you, you're inviting a lot of negative energy into your life.
When something goes differently than we had planned or when something that's difficult pops up unexpectedly, we should allow ourselves to feel the confusion, anger, or whatever other emotion comes along as a result.
But once you have vented, prevent yourself from dwelling on the thing that caused the negative emotion. Quit complaining. When you complain, you tell several people over and over about what went wrong. Your mind is focused on the horrible thing. You bring others down by your complaining. And you bring yourself down.
So after venting, allow yourself to pick up the pieces and see where you can go from where you are. What can you do to make things better? How can you respond so that meeting your main priority is still your focus? Think about things that have gone right in your life. Appreciate what you have been able to achieve so far.
So if life is dealing you all the wrong cards at the moment, go ahead and vent, but quite complaining. You will be in a much better position to handle things the next time they don't go your way. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation for life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Our Destiny of Loss
Loss is Man's destiny, since anything we endeavour to love in this world can be taken from us at any moment. And nothing is more painful or crippling than the loss of a loved one.
Whether it's mortal death or the death of passion that severs a human union, the loss of a loved one cannot be prevented by any worldly craft or art.
But although we cannot prolong the time given to us to share with our loved ones, we can choose how we use it. If we can love selflessly and abundantly, the sheer immensity of love shared will far outweigh the tragedy of a shortened bond.
For very often, the greatest tragedy of a loved one's passing is not the loss itself, but the regret of not having shown and given our love more freely before it was too late.
When our partner decides to leave the relationship, or when someone we love does not reciprocate our feelings, the initial agony may seem insufferable. But we need not let the pain engulf us.
The ability to love someone is the greatest gift we possess. It is a store that will never run out, no matter how much of the inventory we choose to give away. This desire to love is a self-rejuvenating mechanism because when love is given away, more love rushes in to fill its place.
On the other hand, the desire for love gorges a heart with delicious lies that say it has the power and the right to make others love it. Over time, the glutted heart eventually collapses under its own weight, a fat and rotten thing.
It is not in our power, nor is it our right to make others love us. No one truly belongs to you. Not your family members, not your partners, and certainly not someone you just started to develop feelings for. A relationship founded on a selfish longing to possess is almost certain to fail.
Love fearlessly and unselfishly, and you need never feel the anguish and regret of loss.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
An Attitude of Gratitude
Author Melody Beattle once said "Gratitude turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
An attitude of gratitude is one of the most useful things one can possess. It's an unending resource from which one can draw inspiration and comfort. It's also one of the most precious gifts a parent can give a child.
Have you ever wondered why it is that some children who seem to have it all are pleasant and friendly while others become spoiled? The difference is in the attitude. Some children expect to have certain things, and they soon become spoiled and easily discontented. Other children remain thankful and appreciative.
Think of adults you know that fit these descriptions. Whom do you know has a clip on their shoulder or feels the world owes them something? Whom do you know greets each discovery with appreciation? It is easy to guess who is happier and more fulfilled.
Developing a thankful attitude goes a long way toward developing a more resilient and appreciative self. Here a few ideas for spreading the attitude of gratitude.
Think about the whole process. When you receive anything, be it a child's drawing or an expensive gift, focus on how much time, effort and thought went into the gift. Taking the time to realize how much work, caring and thought a person has given you is a wonderful way to deepen your appreciation of both the giver and the gift.
Realize that each day is a gift. There are so many things that we take for granted. Many times we don't realize how much we actually take for granted until tragedy strikes. Take your loved one, for example. Do you regular take time to appreciate them? To show them how much you love them? Remember, they won't be around forever.
And lower your expectations. If you keep expecting things to be in your favour, you'll be thwarted by the many things that will be unfavourable. You'll focus on the negative until you become an irritable, unpleasant grouch. But when we quit expecting the world of people to give us things, we can become more focused on enjoying the gifts that do come our way.
A good way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a Gratitude Journal. In it, record five at least five things you can be thankful for each day. Even on seemingly lously days, you should be able to list at least five. Look beyond the obvious. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation of life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
An attitude of gratitude is one of the most useful things one can possess. It's an unending resource from which one can draw inspiration and comfort. It's also one of the most precious gifts a parent can give a child.
Have you ever wondered why it is that some children who seem to have it all are pleasant and friendly while others become spoiled? The difference is in the attitude. Some children expect to have certain things, and they soon become spoiled and easily discontented. Other children remain thankful and appreciative.
Think of adults you know that fit these descriptions. Whom do you know has a clip on their shoulder or feels the world owes them something? Whom do you know greets each discovery with appreciation? It is easy to guess who is happier and more fulfilled.
Developing a thankful attitude goes a long way toward developing a more resilient and appreciative self. Here a few ideas for spreading the attitude of gratitude.
Think about the whole process. When you receive anything, be it a child's drawing or an expensive gift, focus on how much time, effort and thought went into the gift. Taking the time to realize how much work, caring and thought a person has given you is a wonderful way to deepen your appreciation of both the giver and the gift.
Realize that each day is a gift. There are so many things that we take for granted. Many times we don't realize how much we actually take for granted until tragedy strikes. Take your loved one, for example. Do you regular take time to appreciate them? To show them how much you love them? Remember, they won't be around forever.
And lower your expectations. If you keep expecting things to be in your favour, you'll be thwarted by the many things that will be unfavourable. You'll focus on the negative until you become an irritable, unpleasant grouch. But when we quit expecting the world of people to give us things, we can become more focused on enjoying the gifts that do come our way.
A good way to cultivate gratitude is to keep a Gratitude Journal. In it, record five at least five things you can be thankful for each day. Even on seemingly lously days, you should be able to list at least five. Look beyond the obvious. You'll soon notice how this deepens your appreciation of life and helps to maintain a positive outlook.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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