We can strive to maintain a sunny attitude, but we are all prone to occasional mood swings. Some of us even experience perplexing cases of the blues that seem to come from nowhere.
We are not machines. Even they break down sometimes and can also have baffling causes.
Yes, we all fall into emotional slumps from time to time, and it's definitely normal, but we should not allow those lows to occur to regularly or turn into lingering periods of despair that can lead to depression and other problems.
So, then next time a dark cloud comes over you, here are some ways you can chase it away.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy probably put it across most profoundly and succinctly by staying on its cover... "DON'T PANIC". It's probably not as serious as you think. And even if it is, panicking hardly helps... thinking it through calmly and lucidly is always the best way to go.
Get things into perspective. Don't over-speculate, over-analyse, or imagine disaster scenarios that have no basis in fact. If what's getting you down has you truly worried, then find out more about it. The more you understand something, the less scary it usually gets. There are also many hidden aspects of a situation that only become clear when you actually seek them out.
When you're down in a slump, it also often helps to get out! Literally! Physically change your perspective! Remaining in a familiar environment can remind you of your sadness or frustration, so change your scenery. Sometimes, "out of sight" is truly "out of mind".
However, if getting out of your physical surroundings is not practical, then try changing it. Dreaming up a new concept of your room or office can be rejuvenating experience. Go shopping with a friend and turn your personal space into one that is truly relaxing and inspiring.
And spend more time with positive people, animals or nature. anything that makes you get up, go out and feel good.
Just remember, however horrible you might be feeling at the moment, it will pass. The worst thing you can do when you are feeling low is to indulge that sinking feeling. So do something, take action, and you should be well on your way to feeling much better.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Attracting Success
Everyone wants success.
Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing it, to the determent of everything else. At the other end of the spectrum are people who feel that success is impossible. They conclude that it is destined only for a select few. And the rest of us in between are content with whatever we have. We may desire greater success, but we believe somehow that we are not "fated" or "destined" to achieve it.
However, these assumptions could not be further from the truth. When you strive for success with the wrong assumptions, you will never reach it. It's like trying to reach a destination with the wrong map.
You can't hurry success, catch it, or find it by chance. You cannot inherit it, gate-crash it, or take it from someone else. Success is something you must work hard and long to ear, for yourself. It has a price, sometimes a very high one. And most people aren't really and truly ready to pay that price, to do what success demands.
To achieve success, first you must understand that success is a process. It requires time and patience. There are no short cuts. Anything else is just a temporary illusion. Success that will remain with you, and bring you joy rather than sorrow, requires a learning process, a time to grow out of old habits and into new ones, a time to learn what works and what doesn't. So don't be in a hurry.
In order to attain success, you will also need to acquired traits and skills that attract it. Define what success means to you. What traits or skills will you need to achieve this goal? Devise plans to acquire the needs traits and skills. Learn to do what you need to do, to get where you want to go. Find two or three people who have what you want. Write down the habits that have made them successful and resolve to copy them.
And once you have made up your mind to achieve success, you must be ready to travel the road to success, oftentimes alone. Author Les Brown once said that, "At some point in time, the pursuit of your goals becomes secondary and what you have become in the process is what is most important." when infants reach for the toy that their parents have placed some distance away, it's not the toy that's the prize; it's simply motivation for the child to learn something more important, something more lasting, and that is to learn to crawl, and of course, to finally walk and run! It's to strengthen their muscles so they can reach for other goals in life.
Anyone can success, but not everyone will. And success differs for each person. It's your definition, and your decision.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Some people spend their every waking moment pursuing it, to the determent of everything else. At the other end of the spectrum are people who feel that success is impossible. They conclude that it is destined only for a select few. And the rest of us in between are content with whatever we have. We may desire greater success, but we believe somehow that we are not "fated" or "destined" to achieve it.
However, these assumptions could not be further from the truth. When you strive for success with the wrong assumptions, you will never reach it. It's like trying to reach a destination with the wrong map.
You can't hurry success, catch it, or find it by chance. You cannot inherit it, gate-crash it, or take it from someone else. Success is something you must work hard and long to ear, for yourself. It has a price, sometimes a very high one. And most people aren't really and truly ready to pay that price, to do what success demands.
To achieve success, first you must understand that success is a process. It requires time and patience. There are no short cuts. Anything else is just a temporary illusion. Success that will remain with you, and bring you joy rather than sorrow, requires a learning process, a time to grow out of old habits and into new ones, a time to learn what works and what doesn't. So don't be in a hurry.
In order to attain success, you will also need to acquired traits and skills that attract it. Define what success means to you. What traits or skills will you need to achieve this goal? Devise plans to acquire the needs traits and skills. Learn to do what you need to do, to get where you want to go. Find two or three people who have what you want. Write down the habits that have made them successful and resolve to copy them.
And once you have made up your mind to achieve success, you must be ready to travel the road to success, oftentimes alone. Author Les Brown once said that, "At some point in time, the pursuit of your goals becomes secondary and what you have become in the process is what is most important." when infants reach for the toy that their parents have placed some distance away, it's not the toy that's the prize; it's simply motivation for the child to learn something more important, something more lasting, and that is to learn to crawl, and of course, to finally walk and run! It's to strengthen their muscles so they can reach for other goals in life.
Anyone can success, but not everyone will. And success differs for each person. It's your definition, and your decision.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Smart People Doing Stupid Things
Religious leader jailed for misappropriation of charity funds. Doctor suspended for improperly prescribing sleeping pills. Actor sentenced for molesting colleague. Company directory convicted for tax evasion. Nurse jailed for cheating patient of money. Teacher jailed of murdering ex-lover.
News headlines that beg the question - "why do smart people do stupid things?"
These are arguably intelligent people, most of them having had illustrious careers in their own way, their achievements plain to see, their track records unblemished until the fateful act.
It's easy for us to pass judgment; to proclaim "he deserved it!", "what loose morals he must have!", "as a trusted role model, how could he stoop so low?", and so on.
But what happened to this person could happen to any of us. What makes us think that we have more self-control than these people, many of whom had, before their misdemeanour, achieved more than the average person? What makes us so sure that if we were put through the same paces that we wouldn't do the same thing?
We are all capable of doing the wrong thing. So how can we avoid stumbling hard in a moment of folly?
First, don't react on impulse. We often make foolish decisions because we haven't yet given the matter deeper thought. Like buying a big-ticket item, always give yourself a cooling-off period to reflect on what you are about to do. Don't allow your emotions to overrule logical thinking. If you think something is "wrong", it probably is.
We also often do stupid things to polish our ego. Perhaps we feel we have attained a status that given us the privilege to bend the rules a little. People may also stroke our ego in order to get what they want from us.
When pondering a dubious option, don't take it at face-value. Don't simply trust what others tell you. Find out for yourself. Many people make decisions they regret later because they didn't bother to ascertain their assumptions. "I wasn't aware" though is a defense that doesn't hold water in the eyes of the law.
Many people also routine risk long-term happiness for short-term gratification - kickbacks, sexual favours, or a committing a vengeful act in a moment of anger. Think about it.... is it worth it? Some fast cash or fleeting pleasure for a lifetime of regret?
No doubt we are human after all... and part of being human is the tendency to give in to temptation. I am not saying we can always transcend this weakness, but we ca certainly weigh our sacrifices and gains carefully before acting.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
News headlines that beg the question - "why do smart people do stupid things?"
These are arguably intelligent people, most of them having had illustrious careers in their own way, their achievements plain to see, their track records unblemished until the fateful act.
It's easy for us to pass judgment; to proclaim "he deserved it!", "what loose morals he must have!", "as a trusted role model, how could he stoop so low?", and so on.
But what happened to this person could happen to any of us. What makes us think that we have more self-control than these people, many of whom had, before their misdemeanour, achieved more than the average person? What makes us so sure that if we were put through the same paces that we wouldn't do the same thing?
We are all capable of doing the wrong thing. So how can we avoid stumbling hard in a moment of folly?
First, don't react on impulse. We often make foolish decisions because we haven't yet given the matter deeper thought. Like buying a big-ticket item, always give yourself a cooling-off period to reflect on what you are about to do. Don't allow your emotions to overrule logical thinking. If you think something is "wrong", it probably is.
We also often do stupid things to polish our ego. Perhaps we feel we have attained a status that given us the privilege to bend the rules a little. People may also stroke our ego in order to get what they want from us.
When pondering a dubious option, don't take it at face-value. Don't simply trust what others tell you. Find out for yourself. Many people make decisions they regret later because they didn't bother to ascertain their assumptions. "I wasn't aware" though is a defense that doesn't hold water in the eyes of the law.
Many people also routine risk long-term happiness for short-term gratification - kickbacks, sexual favours, or a committing a vengeful act in a moment of anger. Think about it.... is it worth it? Some fast cash or fleeting pleasure for a lifetime of regret?
No doubt we are human after all... and part of being human is the tendency to give in to temptation. I am not saying we can always transcend this weakness, but we ca certainly weigh our sacrifices and gains carefully before acting.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Conversation-Starters
We've all been there. You are at a party, or some social event... no one you really know. There are a couple of people you would like to know, but you have no idea how to start a conversation with them.
Or someone comes up to you, says "hello", you say "hi". And then... awkward silence. You are desperately thinking of things to talk about... there are about twenty things running through you head; none of them though actually emerging from your lips.
Though human beings are social creatures, not all of us are naturally sociable. And if you are not the life of the party, that's nothing to be ashamed about. The problem though is that for some of us, the more we falter at social events, the more fearful we can become of them. And this can affect our self-esteem and opportunities for self-development. Not to mention our romantic prospects.
Fortunately though, there is a method to starting and maintaining conversations.
First, let's tackle your state of mind. At a function, you are typically focusing on you, right? How you appear to others, how they are judging you, what you should say or do, and so on. It's no wonder the experience is so nerve-wracking.
Well, take the focus off you and on to other people and your surroundings. Notice what's happening in your environment... take an active interest in what others are doing, saying or wearing, how they are behaving. When your mind is occupied with others, it has no time to worry about you.
Find something common, either between the two of you or something in the surroundings or place and talk about that - how parking was tough, maybe, how good the food looks, which items are must-haves, similar hobbies or work, interest in some ingoing media event perhaps. Remember to who more interest in the other party; ask follow-up questions based on this answers. Everybody loves talking about themselves. So let them carry the conversation.
That's why compliments work well too. It shows that you actually noticed. And it doesn't always have to be something about their appearance or what they are wearing... if you love their enthusiasm or energy, for example, tell them.
Or if you are not in the mood to think about what to say sometimes, make sure you bring along a unique item and display it prominently... that's guaranteed to be a conversation-starter.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Or someone comes up to you, says "hello", you say "hi". And then... awkward silence. You are desperately thinking of things to talk about... there are about twenty things running through you head; none of them though actually emerging from your lips.
Though human beings are social creatures, not all of us are naturally sociable. And if you are not the life of the party, that's nothing to be ashamed about. The problem though is that for some of us, the more we falter at social events, the more fearful we can become of them. And this can affect our self-esteem and opportunities for self-development. Not to mention our romantic prospects.
Fortunately though, there is a method to starting and maintaining conversations.
First, let's tackle your state of mind. At a function, you are typically focusing on you, right? How you appear to others, how they are judging you, what you should say or do, and so on. It's no wonder the experience is so nerve-wracking.
Well, take the focus off you and on to other people and your surroundings. Notice what's happening in your environment... take an active interest in what others are doing, saying or wearing, how they are behaving. When your mind is occupied with others, it has no time to worry about you.
Find something common, either between the two of you or something in the surroundings or place and talk about that - how parking was tough, maybe, how good the food looks, which items are must-haves, similar hobbies or work, interest in some ingoing media event perhaps. Remember to who more interest in the other party; ask follow-up questions based on this answers. Everybody loves talking about themselves. So let them carry the conversation.
That's why compliments work well too. It shows that you actually noticed. And it doesn't always have to be something about their appearance or what they are wearing... if you love their enthusiasm or energy, for example, tell them.
Or if you are not in the mood to think about what to say sometimes, make sure you bring along a unique item and display it prominently... that's guaranteed to be a conversation-starter.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Attitude Towards Adversity
There is much in this world that's not fair or right, at least in our opinion. And if we want to, we can have plenty to complain or be unhappy about. In fact, many of us do make our frustrations known on a regular basis, bleating away to our friends, colleagues, family and whoever's too polite to walk away.
I try my best to catch myself when I am straying into "whining" territory, but it's tough, isn't it? It can feel really good to let it all out, especially to someone you feel comfortable around.
But believe me, keep up the complaining and even your closest friend will find you insufferable after a while. Yet, driving people away is a pretty minor consequence compared to what a negative attitude towards adversity does to us.
As we've talked about before, there is much in life that can upset us. So if our typical reaction is negative, then we are likely to be miserable quite often.
I am not suggesting that you dismiss or laugh off everything you find abhorrent or unjust. Certainly we should try to improve things but the problem is that many of us simply throw a big fit and do little else. The frustration and complaining then become just a habit that keeps us feeling low and helpless.
The difference is in our focus. Reacting negatively to challenges keeps our mind on failure, misfortune, and injustice. It makes us feel like we are being unfairly untreated when really, everyone goes through hard times. Everyone gets their heart broken. Everyone experiences failure before tasting success. And we all become excellent only through consistent hard work.
Let's take the example of a salesperson, a profession that arguably encounters the most rejection. After having a couple of doors slammed in his face, he becomes crestfallen, giving in to grunts and sighs, turning to chemicals to jolt his spirits, and resorting to slagging off his clients to justify his stranded sales figures. The more this happens, the less motivated he feels to try harder. His negative attitude towards his problem keeps him in a self-fulfilling cycle of failure.
But what if he doesn't allow the rejection to rattle him? Learn from the experience and do something different the next time? What if keeps up his cheerful disposition and greets the next customer with a bigger smile instead of a scowl?
When you leave an upsetting situation with an unbeaten spirit, you are really taking a big stride towards future success.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
I try my best to catch myself when I am straying into "whining" territory, but it's tough, isn't it? It can feel really good to let it all out, especially to someone you feel comfortable around.
But believe me, keep up the complaining and even your closest friend will find you insufferable after a while. Yet, driving people away is a pretty minor consequence compared to what a negative attitude towards adversity does to us.
As we've talked about before, there is much in life that can upset us. So if our typical reaction is negative, then we are likely to be miserable quite often.
I am not suggesting that you dismiss or laugh off everything you find abhorrent or unjust. Certainly we should try to improve things but the problem is that many of us simply throw a big fit and do little else. The frustration and complaining then become just a habit that keeps us feeling low and helpless.
The difference is in our focus. Reacting negatively to challenges keeps our mind on failure, misfortune, and injustice. It makes us feel like we are being unfairly untreated when really, everyone goes through hard times. Everyone gets their heart broken. Everyone experiences failure before tasting success. And we all become excellent only through consistent hard work.
Let's take the example of a salesperson, a profession that arguably encounters the most rejection. After having a couple of doors slammed in his face, he becomes crestfallen, giving in to grunts and sighs, turning to chemicals to jolt his spirits, and resorting to slagging off his clients to justify his stranded sales figures. The more this happens, the less motivated he feels to try harder. His negative attitude towards his problem keeps him in a self-fulfilling cycle of failure.
But what if he doesn't allow the rejection to rattle him? Learn from the experience and do something different the next time? What if keeps up his cheerful disposition and greets the next customer with a bigger smile instead of a scowl?
When you leave an upsetting situation with an unbeaten spirit, you are really taking a big stride towards future success.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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