Giving and Receiving

Today, let’s reflect on giving and receiving. Both are equally important to your emotional health, and if your scales are excessively skewed, it’s time to review some of your habits and beliefs. Just like inhaling and exhaling, giving and receiving both need equal attention, otherwise, the body feels uncomfortable and inefficient. Both are cycles that establish their own equilibrium.

Think about it… When you exhale fully, you make room for new air to come in. You also create a vacuum that pulls oxygen in. In the same way, if you are giving more than you are receiving, at some point you will not have anything left to give. If you are receiving more than you are giving, at some point there will be no "space" for you to receive anything else.

If you're not receiving enough, you need to open yourself up to receive more of what is already being given to you.

For example, when someone compliments you, say "Thank you." Do not deflect what they have said – let it in! Receive this person's appreciation for you.

When someone invites you to something, allow yourself to feel included and wanted. Don't look for explanations or complications. Take it at face value.

When someone asks you what they can do to help you out, don't turn them down. Think of all the ways they might assist you and pick one; then let them help you. Many people refuse help unless they are just about desperate; they fear that if they take help when they don't absolutely need it, when they do need it, it won't be there. But that's not the way the dynamic works. When you consistently refuse help, you stop the flow.

When you come across something that’s beautiful to you, such as a sunset, a rain puddle or a colourful insect, allow its beauty to seep into your soul. If you witness something that touches, moves, or inspires you, open up your heart fully to receive the experience. Don’t dismiss it as weak sentimentality. Feel it. Your heart needs it.

And when you receive a gift, receive the whole gift. And this includes the thought, time and energy that went into getting you the gift. You may be thinking “I don’t need another shirt” or “another bag”, but you do need the gift behind the gift. Let it in.


We tried out a few ways of increasing your receptivity if you’re not receiving enough. But what if you’re not giving enough?

First of all, tell the people in your life what you appreciate about them - the things you admire, respect, enjoy, envy, and are awed by. How often do you let your friends and family know how much you appreciate them?

Extend this gift of appreciation to colleagues and associates. Even people you had a brief encounter with; if they impressed you or was good to you or did a favour for you, tell them how much it meant. Be generous with your appreciation. It costs you nothing but it makes them feel great, and you’ll feel wonderful too.

When you go to someone else's home, bring them something – some fruit, a drink, a flower, even a note.

Introduce people who could benefit from knowing each other socially or professionally. You may feel awkward the first few times you do this, but it is a completely learnable skill and a wonderful way to be of service to the people in your life.

Invite people to your home; give the gift of an event that brings people together.

Give away stuff you don't use any more - dusty books clogging up your cupboards and shelves, CDs you never listen to anymore, bags, clothes, even appliances. These things have much more value in them yet in other hands.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd