Forgive Yourself

Very often, when we talk about forgiveness, we mean forgiving other people. But many of us are not maximizing our lives because we've forgotten to forgive the most important person of all - ourselves.

There will be many times when we hurt or disappoint ourselves. When we make an error in judgement or when we fail to reach a certain benchmark. when we don't deal with that hurt and allow it to accumulate, it can lead to low self-esteem and self-disparagement. When you do make a mistake it's perfectly fine to acknowledge it. But don't hold it against yourself for the rest of your life.

Perhaps you feel you've let someone down, someone you care about. Punishing yourself isn't going to help things. Instead, deal with the hurt and let it go. Apologize to the other person or attempt to compensate in some way. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, says you're sorry, ask for their forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.

Or maybe you begrudge yourself for something you feel is a flaw or impediment. Perhaps you hate your body, or don't think you're capable enough to succeed. Hey, no one has everything. But you don't have to simply accept your inadequacies. Have the courage to accept the things you cannot change, but the courage to change the things you can. These immortal words from a saint have perennial relevance. So don't feel sorry for yourself, do something about it. It's alright to be not good enough yet. But get on that path towards self-improvement.

Ask yourself these questions:


"Do I use my inner dialogue to beat myself up mentally and spiritually?"

"Do I not allow myself happiness because I believe, deep down inside, I don't deserve to be happy?"

"Am I holding myself back from relationships because I believe I'll just mess them up, repeating patterns in the past?"

"Am I setting for a career or relationship because I believe I'm not worthy of anything better?"

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it's time to make a change.

You are the only "you" you're ever going to have. Treat yourself well, with all the love, dignity and respect you can gather.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd