Sometimes we develop feelings for someone, but compelling reasons forbid the _expression of love. Or maybe the object of our affections cannot reciprocate our sentiments.
When this happens, it's common to fall into hopeless misery. We might give in to bitterness and wish we had never met the person. Or we might waste the rest of our lives on fruitless yearning. Worse still, we might be driven to accept someone we don't genuinely love in order to fill that void in our hearts.
But love is an emotion. A potent one, yes, but nonetheless an entity which can be dimmed, transformed or transferred if necessary. It certainly serves nothing to grieve over someone you know can never be yours. So sometimes when we know it's impossible, we have no choice but to dull our feelings, lest they plunge us into perilous depths.
Remove yourself from your situation and examine your internal and external circumstances carefully. Do you really love the person, or is your passion fueled by a selfish need? Does the person truly love you and is he or she worth fighting for? Are your tears worth shedding for someone who will cry for someone else?
Very often, we desperately seek one particular person's affections because we feel we don't deserve to be loved. We are held hostage by our perceived deficiencies and past misfortunes and so constantly search for acceptance and love. When we don't find them, we despair. We languish in a palace of ice we build for ourselves, and then demand that someone else come live within its frozen walls with us.
But the world is hardly that miniscule. And the inner world, the realm of our spirit is boundless. When you believe that there is only that one person for you, and seek an impossible reciprocation with all the ruthless will of that conviction, there can only be suffering for you.
You deserve to be with someone who truly loves you. That person exists. But you won't find him or her in your palace of ice.
Step outside. Remember the warm sun and fresh air? Remember how you used to be your own person until you surrendered your happiness to a vain pursuit? Remember all the wonderful things you savoured before you locked yourself up in that dreadful place? Embrace them again.
Do not seek love. For it will come to you if you truly know it.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
