The Importance of Feedback

Most of us have had this experience - we go to a restaurant, receive horrible service, but remain silent about it. I mean, we probably will winge about it with our dining mates but mostly no more than that.

This kind of timid, non-assertive behaviour is often attributed to our "Asian reservation", "reservedness", our tendency to be more concerned about group benefit rather than individual satisfaction, and so on. "Let's not make a scene", "Oh it's just one of those days", and so on.

It can seem awfully trivial, especially after our temper has cooled. But our reluctance to assert ourselves has a wider-reaching consequence. When we don't give feedback for bad treatment, we are actually perpetuating bad service.

The lack of good service has long been a malaise of Singapore society. Could this be due to our general reluctance to point out bad service?

I have been guilty of this myself. I get shoddy service and simply brush it off. "Maybe he's having a bad day..." Well, maybe he is. Maybe he isn't What's certain though is that when you remain silent, you're rewarding bad behaviour. The service provider assumes he can get away with it and will be more likely to give sub-standard service in future. This certainly doesn't help his career development either.

And it's not just the service sector that suffers from the lack of feedback. When we remain tight-lipped about bad treatment, we encourage bad behaviour from almost everyone we interact with. Think of family members, your partner, a colleague or neighbour... what kinds of unreasonable treatment are you putting up with? What kinds of stress are you allowing yourself to take on a regular basis without voicing your opposition?

Now it's important to understand that we are not helping the relationship by keeping quiet. When we don't express our dissatisfaction, we are sending a signal that we're OK with being treated like that. The other party then sees nothing wrong with continuing to treat us like that. Over time, our silent rage bubbles and boils, our resentment builds up, we find ways to getting back at the other person, and the unspoken war wages on until finally, the relationship becomes untenable.

So do yourself and the other party a favour. If you feel - reasonably - that you deserve better, do say so.

Of course, this principle of feedback also applies to good service and behaviour. So when you're well-treated, do let the person or whatever place he's working in know. Give a bigger tip. Reward good behaviour and you will get more good behaviour.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd