This ability to detach or distance oneself from external sources of disapproval is crucial for success.
Our plans can often be scuttled by dissenting voices. It's easy to criticise, and unhappy and discontented people often feel the need to project their own negative feelings onto others, just so they don't feel alone.
The ability to ignore these discouraging voices though is not the same as arrogance or being bigoted in one's opinions. We should always ponder constructive criticism, but when it come to the kind of thoughtless, toxic, derision that only seeks to bring us down, let it ricochet off you!
True detachment helps you to slice through the fog and remain focused on your objective. It allows you to think clearly and not waste time and energy on getting frustrated or upset. It gives you the control you will need to to manage the affairs that most need your attention, and to ignore those that don't.
We should not confuse this kind of detachment with nonchalance or a mere lackadaisical attitude towards life. This kind of detachment requires inner strength and the acumen to decide which battles are worth fighting.
To effectively detach yourself from nonconstructive criticism, you have to be more in tune with yourself - pay more attention to your own feelings and thoughts. Are they authentic? Are they truly yours? Or are you merely aligning your vies with widely held opinions? Do you simply buy what you're sold? Or do you consistently seek to find your way, your own solutions?
Paying more attention to your thoughts and feelings also helps to understand yourself better - what are your core needs? What are your strengths? What are the areas that need improvement? A good understanding of yourself is the ballast that keeps you steady and grounded.
We usually make our best decisions when we are calm and level-headed. I'm sure you can recall without effort the times when you reached out of agitation or anger. Not pretty, I'm sure and not something you were proud of. So keep your cool... constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting out of anger.
Train yourself of pause for a moment, absorb what you need to understand about the situation before saying or doing anything. When in doubt, it's usually best not to say or do anything at all.
And remember... it's not personal. Most of the time, people act out of thoughtlessness, ignorance, anger, insecurity or envy. They are usually more concerned with how others think of them rather than you. So try not to let them get to you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
