Let's say you have a dispute with our spouse or partner. The primary factor in this relationship, the reason why you're both in it, is to love and be loved. But very often we get ingrained in other stuff - the need to be right for instance - and that kills the highest intention you had when you first met, began courting and decided that you would like to spend more time with each other.
Ultimately, you love this person and this person loves you. That should be the most important outcome, should not it? When you keep your focus on this, the dispute becomes secondary - unimportant and definitely not worth straining your relationship over.
It's probably easier to understand this with someone you love. But what about with your colleagues, whom you don't love? Well, not romantically anyway...
Again, what is your highest intention, the highest desire? Is it to win your point of view at any cost? Is it to be seen the most capable employee in the company? Is it to earn a simple living so you focus on other aspects of life you cherish more? Or is it to rise through the ranks and one day own your own business? Is it to build respect? Or to be recognised for your talents and abilities? Focus on the highest outcome. When you do this, you send subtle, unseen signals to your colleagues and your bosses and they will begin to show you the very thing you want.
What about the kids?
With kids, the same principles applies - what is the utmost intention? Is it to force them into doing what you want right now or to have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded, responsible people who can think for themselves and make their own decision?
Our relationships can be beneficial and rewarding. We just have to focus on the highest desire - what is the highest outcome you could have in this situation? What's most important?
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
