Worry has a terrible reputation. It's often blamed for disrupting our peace of mind and robbing us of our happiness. But most of the time, worry gets an unfair bum rap.
After all, if worry didn't set off alarm bells every once in a while, we'd be waltzing blindly into dangerous situations.
Worry is an instinctive self-defense mechanism. It exists to help us avoid trouble. Unfortunately, for many of us, we simply allow worry to cripple us. We allow it to grow into an irrational fear without taking positive action. That's when worry becomes harmful - when we allow it to paralyse us; when we do nothing to counter the damaging stress hormones it produces.
The first step towards eliminating irrational worry is simply to do something! Instead of just sitting around fretting, get up and do something about it. You may not be able to solve the problem right away but by doing something, you're forcing your mind to take its focus off the problem and concentrate on something else. Besides giving you some reprieve, this also releases pent-up energy and exposes you to external stimuli that may trigger ideas for a resolution. So hit the gym, spring clean your room, do the laundry, go for a walk, whatever, just do something.
Next, evaluate what's bothering you from a rational, logical standpoint. If this was something to a friend, what would you tell him or her? Write the challenge down and list the possible solutions. There is often plenty you can do to alleviate the problem, even if you can't resolve it immediately.
Very often, doing nothing is what causes the worry to deepen - the wavering between "Yes" and "No". So examine your options and make a decision. Remember, not making a choice is also a choice and often the worst one of all. So make a decision and move on. We all make mistakes but the important thing is to learn from our mistake and move on as better people.
Whether it's a person, thing or even that's fuelling your worry, confront it head on. Very often, our worries are just products of our imagination and confronting the challenge in question will make sure the ghosts are exorcised once and for all.
So make that phone call, meet that person, do what you fear now.
When we're stressed, our body produces a destructive hormone called cortisol. If not regularly manages, cortisol can lead to several major illnesses. So if something is bothering you, breath! Take a deep breath and relax. Take a warm shower, mediate, listen to soothing music, go for a slow walk, read a feelgood book.
So the next time worry's got you in spin, don't let it push you around. Take charge and take action.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Enhancing Your Effectiveness
"Time is precious."
"Be thankful for each day."
"Make the most of each moment."
Most of us have heard these phrases and philosophies and on some level, we understand what they mean. Yet, many of us still spend our time like drifting nomads, allowing the weather, availability of resources or whatever to dictate where we go instead of planning our destinations and charting our own routes.
This can happen when we get lulled into the humdrum of modern life.
Especially if you're in a job you don't have a passion for. After some time, you become numb, working purely for the pay and everyday seems to drag on without expectation or intention.
How can we find the spark again and enhance our effectiveness and verve?
Well, make it a habit to make everyday as productive as you possibly can. When you are productive, you feel vital and useful and this is a very empowering feeling. Be deliberate about it. If there's nothing of significance on your to-do list, find something. Decide on one main purpose a day. Make that your priority and make sure you do it. This gives you the feeling of always moving ahead.
In life, we will sometimes be called on to perform tasks we wouldn't normally find engaging, but put your heart into them anyway and you will be surprised at how interesting and satisfying they can become. Rather than sighing your way through another routine assignment, try looking out for something different, something hidden in the details. Try doing just a bit more, asking a few more questions, giving a little more value. You'll probably discover a lot of value you never realised was inherent in the task before!
Opportunities are present every day... at every moment, even. You only need to look out for them. Most of us are so used to brushing off opportunities that we're missing out on them on a daily basis without even knowing it. Just try an experiment - for one day, make a note of anything of remote interest, from the media, from your colleagues, from places and so on.
At the end of the day, go through your list and think how each of them can make you more knowledgeable, more valuable or more efficient. Mix them around, combine them, brainstorm some ideas! There's probably a great business or work idea in there somewhere.
Don't allow tedium and routine to take root in your life. Take control of the reins and lead your life with more joy and expectation!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
"Be thankful for each day."
"Make the most of each moment."
Most of us have heard these phrases and philosophies and on some level, we understand what they mean. Yet, many of us still spend our time like drifting nomads, allowing the weather, availability of resources or whatever to dictate where we go instead of planning our destinations and charting our own routes.
This can happen when we get lulled into the humdrum of modern life.
Especially if you're in a job you don't have a passion for. After some time, you become numb, working purely for the pay and everyday seems to drag on without expectation or intention.
How can we find the spark again and enhance our effectiveness and verve?
Well, make it a habit to make everyday as productive as you possibly can. When you are productive, you feel vital and useful and this is a very empowering feeling. Be deliberate about it. If there's nothing of significance on your to-do list, find something. Decide on one main purpose a day. Make that your priority and make sure you do it. This gives you the feeling of always moving ahead.
In life, we will sometimes be called on to perform tasks we wouldn't normally find engaging, but put your heart into them anyway and you will be surprised at how interesting and satisfying they can become. Rather than sighing your way through another routine assignment, try looking out for something different, something hidden in the details. Try doing just a bit more, asking a few more questions, giving a little more value. You'll probably discover a lot of value you never realised was inherent in the task before!
Opportunities are present every day... at every moment, even. You only need to look out for them. Most of us are so used to brushing off opportunities that we're missing out on them on a daily basis without even knowing it. Just try an experiment - for one day, make a note of anything of remote interest, from the media, from your colleagues, from places and so on.
At the end of the day, go through your list and think how each of them can make you more knowledgeable, more valuable or more efficient. Mix them around, combine them, brainstorm some ideas! There's probably a great business or work idea in there somewhere.
Don't allow tedium and routine to take root in your life. Take control of the reins and lead your life with more joy and expectation!
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Stuck in a Bad Relationship
Deep down, you know your relationship is not working. When you're along, you harbour desires of calling it off. Yet, when you're with your partner, you can't seem to say what you want. you know that your partner's behaviour is causing you consistent disappointment and grief but you can't seem to let go and move on.
If this sounds familiar, you could be trapped in a bad relationship.
Some people are just naturally attracted to bad relationship. Others are clinging to false hope. Some are simply in denial; they just cannot believe how "heaven" so to speak has degenerated into such a "hell".
One common fear compelling a person to stay in a bad relationship is the belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could be interested in you or love you. You have grown so attached to your partner that you've forgotten your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and having to take care of yourself.
Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying.
Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behaviour since he or she is supporting you. Having a child together can also cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child's mother or father.
On a deeper level, you could be stuck in a disappointing relationship due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be denied love, concern and understanding.
So how can you get out of this destructive relationship?
First of all, you have to acknowledge that your relationship is a distorted one, one that you would do better to be rid of. Stop holding yourself hostage because you don't have to.
Stop making excuses for your partner's behaviour. simply hoping for him or her to change is pointless. what you can do is confront him or her about the problem and see if the relationship can be save.
If not, then you must muster the courage to end the relationship. The initial stage will be difficult and you can expect to feel some mental and physical discomfort. But that feeling will pass. the new freedom and empowerment you will gain will erase any bad feelings of the past.
Remember, you deserve better.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
If this sounds familiar, you could be trapped in a bad relationship.
Some people are just naturally attracted to bad relationship. Others are clinging to false hope. Some are simply in denial; they just cannot believe how "heaven" so to speak has degenerated into such a "hell".
One common fear compelling a person to stay in a bad relationship is the belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could be interested in you or love you. You have grown so attached to your partner that you've forgotten your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and having to take care of yourself.
Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying.
Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behaviour since he or she is supporting you. Having a child together can also cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child's mother or father.
On a deeper level, you could be stuck in a disappointing relationship due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be denied love, concern and understanding.
So how can you get out of this destructive relationship?
First of all, you have to acknowledge that your relationship is a distorted one, one that you would do better to be rid of. Stop holding yourself hostage because you don't have to.
Stop making excuses for your partner's behaviour. simply hoping for him or her to change is pointless. what you can do is confront him or her about the problem and see if the relationship can be save.
If not, then you must muster the courage to end the relationship. The initial stage will be difficult and you can expect to feel some mental and physical discomfort. But that feeling will pass. the new freedom and empowerment you will gain will erase any bad feelings of the past.
Remember, you deserve better.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
The Bottomless Pit of Self-Pity
When we run into problems or extended problematic periods, it's common for us to feel sorry for ourselves.
This kind of self-pity can be seductive and addictive because it can reward us psychologically and emotionally.
For instance, we might imagine that our dramatically-expressed misery is a kind of punishment to the one who has hurt us; that we can make him or her feel bad that we are feeling bad.
We also feel that by remaining incapacitated, we're demonstrating just how helpless we are to make things better, therefore justifying even more helpless, self-pitying behaviour. This can quickly become a vicious cycle that keeps feeding itself.
While in the grip of self-pity, we also tend to exaggerate the role of the aggravator and selectively selectively block out our own responsibility to improve our own life.
Chances are there will also be plenty of well-meaning friends and relatives who will come around and cry along with us and nod enthusiastically and supportively when you tell them how terrible you feel, how hurt you are and how hard your life is.
The thing about self-pity is that it makes us believe that we are the victim and so can't help being and feeling abused. It encourages us to remain in a miserable state. It places the blame solely on other people and circumstances so we can sit around and do nothing.
So how can we wrest ourselves from the powerful talons of self-pity?
Well, first, get your friends and relatives to stop feeling sorry for you.
Tell them it's really not helping. Avoid people who, despite this, still feel they should be your brooding buddies.
Then, break your chain of self-pity thoughts by shifting your focus to something else. Immerse yourself in new experiences! Read inspiring literature, look for fresh perspectives.
And resolutely look towards tomorrow. it can be hard to see but there is a better future for you. Yesterday is gone but tomorrow holds endless possibilities.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
This kind of self-pity can be seductive and addictive because it can reward us psychologically and emotionally.
For instance, we might imagine that our dramatically-expressed misery is a kind of punishment to the one who has hurt us; that we can make him or her feel bad that we are feeling bad.
We also feel that by remaining incapacitated, we're demonstrating just how helpless we are to make things better, therefore justifying even more helpless, self-pitying behaviour. This can quickly become a vicious cycle that keeps feeding itself.
While in the grip of self-pity, we also tend to exaggerate the role of the aggravator and selectively selectively block out our own responsibility to improve our own life.
Chances are there will also be plenty of well-meaning friends and relatives who will come around and cry along with us and nod enthusiastically and supportively when you tell them how terrible you feel, how hurt you are and how hard your life is.
The thing about self-pity is that it makes us believe that we are the victim and so can't help being and feeling abused. It encourages us to remain in a miserable state. It places the blame solely on other people and circumstances so we can sit around and do nothing.
So how can we wrest ourselves from the powerful talons of self-pity?
Well, first, get your friends and relatives to stop feeling sorry for you.
Tell them it's really not helping. Avoid people who, despite this, still feel they should be your brooding buddies.
Then, break your chain of self-pity thoughts by shifting your focus to something else. Immerse yourself in new experiences! Read inspiring literature, look for fresh perspectives.
And resolutely look towards tomorrow. it can be hard to see but there is a better future for you. Yesterday is gone but tomorrow holds endless possibilities.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Focusing More On Ourselves
Most of the problems in the world today stem from a fundamental malaise of Mankind that the centuries have not been able to cure. Our tendency to be overly-concerned about other people - their flaws, their injustices, their immorality - and not caring enough about our own weakness and what we can do about them.
Murder, racial and religious intolerance, revenge attacks, bomb blasts... these all have roots in our refusal to critically examine ourselves first before judging others. Leader of the world continue to condemn these acts and the perpetrators continue to justify their behaviour, but we are no close to resolving age-old conflicts.
The truth is, the world has always been torn by strife and clashes, civilisations rise and fall, good intentions get corrupted by self-righteousness, greed and power and revenge continues to breed more and more revenge. In fact, the history of Man has been a history of repetition. We come, we conquer, we plunder, we use up, then go find some other place to feed our cravings or someone else to blame.
If we could all stop thinking about the blaming others for our problems and begin to focus more on ourselves and and our self-development, I'm sure the world would be a much better place. The problem with focusing on others is that it's a convenient distraction from our own flaws. While we are preoccupied with others, we don't have time to think about our own shortcomings and therefore don't have to do anything about them.
It's weakness of character, because it takes courage to look within, discover our own flaws and work towards improving ourselves.
If we want others to change, we must first change ourselves. We can only lead by example. This is as true of parent and child relationships as it is with politician and citizen, boss and subordinate, believer and non-believer. Nothing will make others see our point of view unless we can prove just how clearly we see it ourselves. Whether you believe in God or not is a personal choice - only you can see it, only you can feel it or not; you don't need anyone for that. And why should it matter to you how others think as long as it doesn't affect the way you think?
Starting now, try to shift your focus from other people onto yourself. Think about how you can be a better person. How you can reach for that deeper humanity in you.
As respected author and speaker Stephen Covey once said, "We immediately become more effective when we decide to change ourselves rather than asking things to change for us."
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Murder, racial and religious intolerance, revenge attacks, bomb blasts... these all have roots in our refusal to critically examine ourselves first before judging others. Leader of the world continue to condemn these acts and the perpetrators continue to justify their behaviour, but we are no close to resolving age-old conflicts.
The truth is, the world has always been torn by strife and clashes, civilisations rise and fall, good intentions get corrupted by self-righteousness, greed and power and revenge continues to breed more and more revenge. In fact, the history of Man has been a history of repetition. We come, we conquer, we plunder, we use up, then go find some other place to feed our cravings or someone else to blame.
If we could all stop thinking about the blaming others for our problems and begin to focus more on ourselves and and our self-development, I'm sure the world would be a much better place. The problem with focusing on others is that it's a convenient distraction from our own flaws. While we are preoccupied with others, we don't have time to think about our own shortcomings and therefore don't have to do anything about them.
It's weakness of character, because it takes courage to look within, discover our own flaws and work towards improving ourselves.
If we want others to change, we must first change ourselves. We can only lead by example. This is as true of parent and child relationships as it is with politician and citizen, boss and subordinate, believer and non-believer. Nothing will make others see our point of view unless we can prove just how clearly we see it ourselves. Whether you believe in God or not is a personal choice - only you can see it, only you can feel it or not; you don't need anyone for that. And why should it matter to you how others think as long as it doesn't affect the way you think?
Starting now, try to shift your focus from other people onto yourself. Think about how you can be a better person. How you can reach for that deeper humanity in you.
As respected author and speaker Stephen Covey once said, "We immediately become more effective when we decide to change ourselves rather than asking things to change for us."
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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