We all feel angry sometimes. For many of us, anger is something we latch on to, simply because it's an instinctive and natural response to threat or danger. It can be constructive if we can control it and harness its energy for something positive. For example, if a tactless criticism makes us angry, that anger can be channeled to fuel our determination to improve ourselves.
Unchecked anger, on the other hand, can harm relationships, block careers and disrupt lives. It can cause others to avoid you, frame you, or even seek revenge.
Here are some ways we can learn to control our anger. We won't be able to eliminate it altogether, but with practice, we can avoid letting it hurt us.
Firstly, find out what triggers anger in you. Obnoxious people? When you don't get the result you want? Losing? Running late for a concert because your partner gave you the wrong directions? Learn to view these situations and occurrences from a detached, third-party position. Understand that you become a slave to these triggers the moment you react negatively to them. What's the worst that can happen if you choose to ignore them? Probably not much, or nothing at all. Think about it - would you rather be a little late for a concert that has no bearing on the quality of your life, or unleash your fury on a loved one over an unintentional oversight?
Create a buffer between your triggers and your response to them. Pause and think about the gravity of the situation. Does it warrant frustration and anger? Will any of it matter in a minute, a day, or a week? Anger is an instantly reactive emotion. It prevents you from thinking rationally and in the long term. So either take a deep breath, count to ten, or excuse yourself politely and just leave. Most of the time, you will find that the person or thing that almost made you lost your cool won't bother you at all after a while.
And realise that a lot of the time, obnoxious people want to make you angry. they just want to provoke an outburst or negative reaction. It makes them feel big and powerful. So what's the best way to get even? Forget! Let them know that they have no power over your mood.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Self Love
We all want greater happiness. And most of us seek it in things like money, fast love, power, respect, adoration and career success. But we ultimately realise that the joy we get from these things does not last.
How then, can we attain lasting happiness? The key is love - both towards yourself and towards others. Eventually, that's all that's going to matter to you.
Many people don't manage to find self-love, and as a natural consequence, genuine love for others. They spend their entire lives searching for happiness in all the wrong things.
Parents play a critical role in helping to instill a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect in their children. Through the simplest acts of touch, attention to feelings and guidance toward accomplishment, children come to see their own worth reflected in their parents' eyes. They see themselves as worthy of love.
A child who does not receive this kind of love from their parents may grow up to be insecure, dependent and fearful. They might develop a self-loathing attitude - consistently blaming themselves, and feeling that they don't deserve happiness. Or they might embark on an impossible quest for perfection - in themselves and in things like a perfect partner, a perfect job, or a perfect amusement. But the results will always be disappointing. The feeling of disappointment and helplessness may lead to physical or emotional violence or addictions to short-term gratifications like alcohol, drugs and sex.
But a negative relationship with your parents does not mean all is lost. In many ways, your inner voice is like an extra parent. as you grow older, its influence becomes stronger than your parents. What you tell yourself about yourself shapes your life. Happy and successful people talk lovingly and positively to themselves. Nurture your inner voice to speak with love, respect, optimisim and gentleness, and you're on your way to greater happiness.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
How then, can we attain lasting happiness? The key is love - both towards yourself and towards others. Eventually, that's all that's going to matter to you.
Many people don't manage to find self-love, and as a natural consequence, genuine love for others. They spend their entire lives searching for happiness in all the wrong things.
Parents play a critical role in helping to instill a healthy sense of self-worth and self-respect in their children. Through the simplest acts of touch, attention to feelings and guidance toward accomplishment, children come to see their own worth reflected in their parents' eyes. They see themselves as worthy of love.
A child who does not receive this kind of love from their parents may grow up to be insecure, dependent and fearful. They might develop a self-loathing attitude - consistently blaming themselves, and feeling that they don't deserve happiness. Or they might embark on an impossible quest for perfection - in themselves and in things like a perfect partner, a perfect job, or a perfect amusement. But the results will always be disappointing. The feeling of disappointment and helplessness may lead to physical or emotional violence or addictions to short-term gratifications like alcohol, drugs and sex.
But a negative relationship with your parents does not mean all is lost. In many ways, your inner voice is like an extra parent. as you grow older, its influence becomes stronger than your parents. What you tell yourself about yourself shapes your life. Happy and successful people talk lovingly and positively to themselves. Nurture your inner voice to speak with love, respect, optimisim and gentleness, and you're on your way to greater happiness.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Making Great Impressions
Want to nail that job interview? Want to wow the crowd? Want to make friends easily?
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Why Laughter is Good for You!
Everybody loves a good laugh. We go to the cinema to watch comedies (even if they aren't very good sometimes!), we love unwinding with Kumar, Irene and Hossan at comedy clubs, and we subconsciously seek the company of people who make us laugh.
Laughter is a universal pleasure and we don't need to be told why we love to laugh. But why is laughter good for us?
I'm sure you don't need a doctor to tell you that a good laugh instantly balances any disharmony in your mind and body. Having a good laugh has long been known to be very therapeutic. There is evidence to show that even ancient civilisations held laughter in high regard, incorporating it into their arts and culture, with some claiming that laughter "pierces the hopelessness of any situation or attitude and holds the chemistry of immortality".
Pretty poetry that holds powerful truth... and these days of course, we know precisely how. Laughter opens up your lungs, relieves the tension in your muscles, and gives you a big rush of oxygen. When it does this, it also helps your blood flow more efficiently, lowering your blood pressure. Laughter also lowers the disease-causing chemical cortisol in your body, protecting your immune system from the negative effects of stress.
Laughter is nature's own miracle healer, and its power is at your disposal anytime!
Since laughter helps keep our bodies in tiptop condition, it also maintains our minds in the ideal state for seeking and absorbing knowledge. When we laugh, we breathe harder, our heart beats faster and we get more oxygen to the brain. This stimulates the release of serotonin, leading to feelings of contentment and happiness.
A happy worker is also a good worker.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Laughter is a universal pleasure and we don't need to be told why we love to laugh. But why is laughter good for us?
I'm sure you don't need a doctor to tell you that a good laugh instantly balances any disharmony in your mind and body. Having a good laugh has long been known to be very therapeutic. There is evidence to show that even ancient civilisations held laughter in high regard, incorporating it into their arts and culture, with some claiming that laughter "pierces the hopelessness of any situation or attitude and holds the chemistry of immortality".
Pretty poetry that holds powerful truth... and these days of course, we know precisely how. Laughter opens up your lungs, relieves the tension in your muscles, and gives you a big rush of oxygen. When it does this, it also helps your blood flow more efficiently, lowering your blood pressure. Laughter also lowers the disease-causing chemical cortisol in your body, protecting your immune system from the negative effects of stress.
Laughter is nature's own miracle healer, and its power is at your disposal anytime!
Since laughter helps keep our bodies in tiptop condition, it also maintains our minds in the ideal state for seeking and absorbing knowledge. When we laugh, we breathe harder, our heart beats faster and we get more oxygen to the brain. This stimulates the release of serotonin, leading to feelings of contentment and happiness.
A happy worker is also a good worker.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Getting A Grip On Reality
Our worries and anxieties can sometimes overwhelm us. When this happens, some of us cannot seem to enjoy anything; we're too fearful of what's to come. Some of us cannot seem to relax or sleep. Some of us even suffer panic attacks, where we feel we cannot breathe, that the worlds is collapsing around us, or in extreme cases, even harbour temporary thoughts of suicide.
When this happens; it's important for us to remind ourselves that our worries and anxieties are not reality. They are a distortion of reality, an illusion of exaggeration that we give wings in our mind. We imagine all the worst things that could happen, but these scenarios are not based on fact; they're not based on anything but our imagination.
So let us try to regain our grip on reality.
When you're starting to feel anxious about something, stop whatever you're doing and turn your attention to something else, preferably something soothing. Open the window, take a deep breath, admire the trees. Worries grow bigger by repetition and concentration; they like building upon themselves. So deny your worries that opportunity - switch your focus! Refuse to let yourself broad.
Another good way to alleviate your worries is to challenge them with rational thought. As I said before, worries are fancy concoctions of the mind, and when countered with objectivity and common sense, they often look rather silly.
So turn to the facts - how long is this detestable thing expected to last anyway? Is all of it going to be so bad? Might there be some enjoyable aspects you've overlooked? Is it possible this thing could be good for you in some way? Perhaps it's forcing you to do something you've been telling yourself to do but have just been terribly lazy about it?
Do your research, deconstruct the monster, and suddenly it's just made of Lego.
When you are having an anxiety attack, you may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming to you all at once. Instead of panicking, remember that these thoughts are not rooted in reality. They're fabrications! They in no way dictate what's really going to happen. Let the fear go.
Also, remember that worry ultimately doesn't change anything. It may turn you into a sulking, moaning, heaving wreak, but it doesn't have any other real power. Train yourself to shake its hand, tell it "Thank you very much, but you are of no use to me" and send it on its way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
When this happens; it's important for us to remind ourselves that our worries and anxieties are not reality. They are a distortion of reality, an illusion of exaggeration that we give wings in our mind. We imagine all the worst things that could happen, but these scenarios are not based on fact; they're not based on anything but our imagination.
So let us try to regain our grip on reality.
When you're starting to feel anxious about something, stop whatever you're doing and turn your attention to something else, preferably something soothing. Open the window, take a deep breath, admire the trees. Worries grow bigger by repetition and concentration; they like building upon themselves. So deny your worries that opportunity - switch your focus! Refuse to let yourself broad.
Another good way to alleviate your worries is to challenge them with rational thought. As I said before, worries are fancy concoctions of the mind, and when countered with objectivity and common sense, they often look rather silly.
So turn to the facts - how long is this detestable thing expected to last anyway? Is all of it going to be so bad? Might there be some enjoyable aspects you've overlooked? Is it possible this thing could be good for you in some way? Perhaps it's forcing you to do something you've been telling yourself to do but have just been terribly lazy about it?
Do your research, deconstruct the monster, and suddenly it's just made of Lego.
When you are having an anxiety attack, you may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming to you all at once. Instead of panicking, remember that these thoughts are not rooted in reality. They're fabrications! They in no way dictate what's really going to happen. Let the fear go.
Also, remember that worry ultimately doesn't change anything. It may turn you into a sulking, moaning, heaving wreak, but it doesn't have any other real power. Train yourself to shake its hand, tell it "Thank you very much, but you are of no use to me" and send it on its way.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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