It was sociologist Robert K. Merton coined the term in his book Social Theory and Social Structure, Merton gives as an example of the self-fulfilling prophecy - when Roxanna falsely believes that her marriage will fail and fears such failure will occur that it actually causes the marriage to fail.
Similarly, we can affect our reality through the way we perceive it. If you think, I'm going to have lousy day," you are likely to alter your actions so that your prediction is fulfilled by your actions. You might, for instance (in reflection of your ominous mood), dress shabbily, dawdle through breakfast, miss your train as a result, then rush into the office, knocking into your boss and upsetting his coffee. I will leave it to you to storyboard the rest of the day. Probably not pretty, methinks.
How others perceive us is also strongly influenced by how we perceive ourselves. For example, when people congratulate or compliment you, do you respond "Oh it was nothing" or "This old thing?" Whether it's low self-esteem or Confucian humility at work here, you are not doing yourself any favours. Say it often enough and people will start believing that you do "nothing" and wear "old things".
There is no need for verbal fanfare; when people compliment you, just a simple "thank you" will do.
Stop downplaying your skills. Respect and recognize your talents and achievements. If you believe you are worth that amount, then it's likely others will believe it too.
Even if you don't think you are worth it now, you have to believe that you can improve yourself to deserve that price tag in the future.
Positive self-talk is crucial in self-transformation. Replace uncertain terms like "maybe" and "I dont't know" with confident, self-assuring ones like "I can" and "I will".
The words you say to yourself and others, your thoughts and perceptions exert a profound effect on your behaviour and mood, and eventually your reality. Take care that you do not unintentionally fulfill a negative prophecy by thinking it into reality.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
