The Best Thing To do On A Date

There is a wealth of resources these days for the swinging single who perhaps does not wish to, well, "swing" anymore, and settle down instead.

From dating agencies and gender-specific magazines to websites with special programs that help you narrow down your prospects, there is a glut of information on how to find that perfect mate.

It can all be rather overwhelming... the do's, the don'ts, the proper grooming, what to wear, what wine to order with your main, how to act when this happens, what to say when your date asks you that.

The irony is that all these considerations often end up making you nervous and jittery on the date. And because you are so caught up with delivering a perfect performance, you stop being authentic and natural. And at the end of the day, what we are all looking for is someone who is sincere and real.

So the best thing to do on a date is to be yourself. Keep it simple and real. If it's something that's really not "you", something that you cannot sustain or are really not keen on, don't do it. Keeping up appearances may work initially, but in the long run, you really want someone who appreciates the real you.

Many of us worry about running out of things to say, awkward silences or appearing dumb and so on. Well, stop focusing on what to say and simply keep your mind on your date. Show interest in her. Ask questions to find out more about her. We all like talking about ourselves, so let her talk. She'll love it that you're focusing on her and not yourself.

And keep it light. Imagine it as meal with a friend. There is no need to go into heavy topics... talk about movies, music, hobbies, jobs. Remember, it's just a meal... you're not walking down the aisle with this person. Over-thinking often gets in the way of a good time.

So keep it simple, keep it real, and keep it light.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Remembering Names

We have all faced this problem - you bump into a familiar face, buy try as you might, you simply cannot remember his name. Oh the awkward moment, the blank look in your eyes, the eager smile on the other person's face.

Is this problem keeping you from networking successfully? Some of us admittedly have poorer memory skills for faces and names, but if it happens often enough, surely it's time to see if something can be done.

Now what's the most fundamental rule when it comes to remembering something?

Repetition.

But simply repeating the person's name after you have parted is not quite as effective as repeating it during the encounter. So when you are first introduced to someone, use their names several times when you talk to them. "Hi, Andy, nice to meet you. What do you do for a living, Andy? Do you have any kids, Andy? Andy, it was great to meet you!" Not all at one of course... but over the course of the conversation.

If you don't catch the name when it's originally told to you, don't be afraid to ask for it again. This is entirely acceptable as people understand that names may not get through clearly the first time. If it is a foreign or unfamiliar name, ask the person to spell it for you, just to be doubly sure. And say the name immediately after you have confirmed it.

Also, try linking the name with something that's related to the person - it could the mutual friend who introduced to you, a body feature or personality trait. Do they remind you of something that rhymes with their name? Can you make up a catchphrase or a story that uses the feature and the name? It doesn't matter if it is nonsensical; what is important is the strong association you will remember.

If your acquaintances are the namesakes of famous people, try associating them with those personalities. If you meet an "Andy", for example, you might imagine him with a tennis racquet poised for a strike and remember him as "Andy Murray".

Most of us don't give this much thought, but people instantly warm up and respect people who remember their names. It show you paid attention and goes a long way in successful networking.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd

Vibrating With the Right Frequency

A man is known by the company he keeps. We have heard that phrase so many times. Our folks have cautioned us often with that in our childhood. Do we need to heed that advice in our business? Where do you hang out? Who do you hang out with? What is your business surrounded by?

Christian Huygens ("hye gurns") was a scientific genius of the early 17th century. He discovered a law of resonance, which was well accepted in physics later and is now being applied to brain science.

The story goes that Huygens kept a few pendulum clocks on the wall of his room. Each clock swung independently. He discovered that after a few cycles of independent swinging, all the clocks started swinging precisely in a synchronized rhythm.

He deduced that waves from clocks produced vibrations in the wall which in response produced waves that synchronized the rhythm of all the clocks.

Scientists are now studying if this same phenomenon occurs in human brain waves.

Have you ever noticed that successful people are surrounded by similarly successful ones? Is it mere coincidence that when like-minded people are at work, success is more likely?

In applying this theory to your life, you can attract success by surrounding yourself with tpoeple who are successful or have faith that great things are possible. Similarly, avoid the naysayers and complainers. They give out negative vibrations that could impact your own thoughts and behaviour.

Your mind reacts to them like walls did to the clocks and produces similar waves. Before you realize it, you would already have lost faith in your dream.

Your mind is the powerhouse of ideas which will make your business a success. Your mind is the source of your strenth that enables you to carry the burden in difficult times. Feed your mind the good food. Avoid stuffing it with junk food.

So reset your clocks. It's time to vibrate with the right frequency.

---

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd