We've all been there. You are at a party, or some social event... no one you really know. There are a couple of people you would like to know, but you have no idea how to start a conversation with them.
Or someone comes up to you, says "hello", you say "hi". And then... awkward silence. You are desperately thinking of things to talk about... there are about twenty things running through you head; none of them though actually emerging from your lips.
Though human beings are social creatures, not all of us are naturally sociable. And if you are not the life of the party, that's nothing to be ashamed about. The problem though is that for some of us, the more we falter at social events, the more fearful we can become of them. And this can affect our self-esteem and opportunities for self-development. Not to mention our romantic prospects.
Fortunately though, there is a method to starting and maintaining conversations.
First, let's tackle your state of mind. At a function, you are typically focusing on you, right? How you appear to others, how they are judging you, what you should say or do, and so on. It's no wonder the experience is so nerve-wracking.
Well, take the focus off you and on to other people and your surroundings. Notice what's happening in your environment... take an active interest in what others are doing, saying or wearing, how they are behaving. When your mind is occupied with others, it has no time to worry about you.
Find something common, either between the two of you or something in the surroundings or place and talk about that - how parking was tough, maybe, how good the food looks, which items are must-haves, similar hobbies or work, interest in some ingoing media event perhaps. Remember to who more interest in the other party; ask follow-up questions based on this answers. Everybody loves talking about themselves. So let them carry the conversation.
That's why compliments work well too. It shows that you actually noticed. And it doesn't always have to be something about their appearance or what they are wearing... if you love their enthusiasm or energy, for example, tell them.
Or if you are not in the mood to think about what to say sometimes, make sure you bring along a unique item and display it prominently... that's guaranteed to be a conversation-starter.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Showing posts with label Work Environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work Environment. Show all posts
Detaching Yourself From Discouragement
If you observe the behaviour of successful people, you will find that they (in their own flamboyant or quiet way) are steadfastly committed to their vision. They have vividly-formed ideas of what they want and how they are going to get there, and discouragement from other people usually has little or no effect on them.
This ability to detach or distance oneself from external sources of disapproval is crucial for success.
Our plans can often be scuttled by dissenting voices. It's easy to criticise, and unhappy and discontented people often feel the need to project their own negative feelings onto others, just so they don't feel alone.
The ability to ignore these discouraging voices though is not the same as arrogance or being bigoted in one's opinions. We should always ponder constructive criticism, but when it come to the kind of thoughtless, toxic, derision that only seeks to bring us down, let it ricochet off you!
True detachment helps you to slice through the fog and remain focused on your objective. It allows you to think clearly and not waste time and energy on getting frustrated or upset. It gives you the control you will need to to manage the affairs that most need your attention, and to ignore those that don't.
We should not confuse this kind of detachment with nonchalance or a mere lackadaisical attitude towards life. This kind of detachment requires inner strength and the acumen to decide which battles are worth fighting.
To effectively detach yourself from nonconstructive criticism, you have to be more in tune with yourself - pay more attention to your own feelings and thoughts. Are they authentic? Are they truly yours? Or are you merely aligning your vies with widely held opinions? Do you simply buy what you're sold? Or do you consistently seek to find your way, your own solutions?
Paying more attention to your thoughts and feelings also helps to understand yourself better - what are your core needs? What are your strengths? What are the areas that need improvement? A good understanding of yourself is the ballast that keeps you steady and grounded.
We usually make our best decisions when we are calm and level-headed. I'm sure you can recall without effort the times when you reached out of agitation or anger. Not pretty, I'm sure and not something you were proud of. So keep your cool... constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting out of anger.
Train yourself of pause for a moment, absorb what you need to understand about the situation before saying or doing anything. When in doubt, it's usually best not to say or do anything at all.
And remember... it's not personal. Most of the time, people act out of thoughtlessness, ignorance, anger, insecurity or envy. They are usually more concerned with how others think of them rather than you. So try not to let them get to you.
This ability to detach or distance oneself from external sources of disapproval is crucial for success.
Our plans can often be scuttled by dissenting voices. It's easy to criticise, and unhappy and discontented people often feel the need to project their own negative feelings onto others, just so they don't feel alone.
The ability to ignore these discouraging voices though is not the same as arrogance or being bigoted in one's opinions. We should always ponder constructive criticism, but when it come to the kind of thoughtless, toxic, derision that only seeks to bring us down, let it ricochet off you!
True detachment helps you to slice through the fog and remain focused on your objective. It allows you to think clearly and not waste time and energy on getting frustrated or upset. It gives you the control you will need to to manage the affairs that most need your attention, and to ignore those that don't.
We should not confuse this kind of detachment with nonchalance or a mere lackadaisical attitude towards life. This kind of detachment requires inner strength and the acumen to decide which battles are worth fighting.
To effectively detach yourself from nonconstructive criticism, you have to be more in tune with yourself - pay more attention to your own feelings and thoughts. Are they authentic? Are they truly yours? Or are you merely aligning your vies with widely held opinions? Do you simply buy what you're sold? Or do you consistently seek to find your way, your own solutions?
Paying more attention to your thoughts and feelings also helps to understand yourself better - what are your core needs? What are your strengths? What are the areas that need improvement? A good understanding of yourself is the ballast that keeps you steady and grounded.
We usually make our best decisions when we are calm and level-headed. I'm sure you can recall without effort the times when you reached out of agitation or anger. Not pretty, I'm sure and not something you were proud of. So keep your cool... constantly remind yourself of the consequences of acting out of anger.
Train yourself of pause for a moment, absorb what you need to understand about the situation before saying or doing anything. When in doubt, it's usually best not to say or do anything at all.
And remember... it's not personal. Most of the time, people act out of thoughtlessness, ignorance, anger, insecurity or envy. They are usually more concerned with how others think of them rather than you. So try not to let them get to you.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Making Great Impressions
Want to nail that job interview? Want to wow the crowd? Want to make friends easily?
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Then you've got to make a great impression!
Making great first impressions is important because with casual encounters, like a job interview or a public presentation, most people use that to assess the rest of their contact with you. Of course, over time, as people get to know you better, the effect of that first impression may become much less crucial, but casual encounters occur much more frequently.
Today, let's talk about the key components of making a great impression.
First of all, you have to look the part. This may sound superficial, but visual cues are all people have to work with when they first meet you, and you can be sure that they're sizing you up even before you part your lips. No matter how talented you really are, if you don't look like a professional or leader or successful person, others may not (rightly or wrongly) see you as one. You can get tips simply by observing people whom you deem successful at a glance. Black and blue are "safe" colours, but make you fade into the crowd. Try bolder shades to stand out.
Next, you have to sound the part. Use short, simple sentences, do not hurry, use a lower pitch, and always speak with confidence and without hesitation. Here, the execution of your words might be more important than the words themselves. Even if they are hackneyed or banal, when spoken the right way - with the right rhythm, volume, pauses and emphases - your words can have a positive impact. They can make you sound like you're in control of a situation.
You've heard how certain people seem to alter the very atmosphere the moment they enter the room. Well, your entrances and even exits do matter! Keep your posture upright, your walk deliberate and steady, smile, nod, look straight into people's eyes, shake hands firmly... all this sets you up for success even before you start your pitch.
And your workspace is just a space for work, right? Not when it comes to making the right impression. Like it or not, people interpret your work area as a reflection of your work ethic, character and personality. While sensible use of personal pictures or inspirational posters can show you to be a family person or motivated character, cute screensavers, cuddly toys and an excess of plants can detract from your professionalism. It's not that you should not express yourself, but in the small area of a work space, each item becomes more noticeable, taking on greater significance as a symbol of who you are.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
Add Value in the Workplace
We all want to be promoted, get higher salaries, and become more valued at the workplace. But what steps are you taking towards attracting a promotion? Do you have a plan? What are you currently doing that makes you believe that you are deserving of one?
The most miserable people in the world today are those who know what they need to do to create the life they desire, but they refuse to take the actions to do so. So what can you do?
In today's business culture, productivity is the key to promotion. Every employer by reason of economics is forced to look at the bottom line. So here are three steps to increase your productivity, and thus add value in the workplace.
First, assess the desired result.
The clearer the desired outcome, the quicker you can take action. Always be certain you are on the same page as your employer regarding the desired outcome of a task. Don't assume the outcome you desire is the outcome your boss does.
Next, assess what actions must be taken immediately.
You may have ten, fifteen, or even fifty things to do on your plate right now, but do you know what to do next? Identifying the next action takes a matter of minutes, but is often a highly neglected practice. Look over your list of projects and ask yourself, what must I do next? Write it down. After you go through your projects and write out each action step, then determine the highest priority and get to work. You cannot do everything right now. All that matters is what you do right now and what you do next. A great question to ask is, "what action if done will be of the most benefit to you and the company?" or, "what action if not done will be most detrimental to your career success? "
And third, concentrate entirely on the most important task until it is complete.
Quickly solve every problem that comes your way and soon your stock will rise in the eyes of those who are looking for someone to promote. Allow time and your track record to speak on your behalf. Don't force the issue. Your ability to act quickly and get more done than anyone else will cause you to stand out. If you can create a memory in your supervisor's mind that you are person who can get the job done quickly and in excellence, more responsibility and opportunity will be given to you. Getting the job done quickly may mean the difference between you or someone else getting a promotion.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd
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