Controlling Our Anger

For many of us, our temper is one of the hardest things to curb. Patience is a saintly virtue, as they say, and we are often reminded of just how mortal we are when anger takes over and makes us say and do all sorts of umm "un-saintly" things.

Just in the news was a report about a National Serviceman who punched a taxi driver because the cabby had swerved into his lane. For his offence, the NSMan could be jailed up to two years. His anger was understandable... apparently, his pregnant wife was in the car at the time and could have been involved in a nasty accident. But just cause or not, if the NSMan is indeed jailed for the maximum time, he would not be able to take care of his wife and even miss the delivery of his child. Just one example of the consequences that we have to possibly deal with if we react in anger.

Anger is a reactionary impulse and doesn't allow us to think things through. It's appropriate that they describe it as "losing your head" because logic and good sense goes out the window. We've all unleashed a torrent of verbal abuse which we deeply lamented later. Canadian educator Laurence J. Peter probably said it best when he remarked "Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."

If we just think ahead, we will realize how reacting angrily only makes the situation worse. It makes us say silly things, sometimes we may even blurt out things we had sought to keep confidential, it often also makes us look like the bad guy, doesn't it? The one who "can't keep his cool". On the extreme end, we can be driven to physical violence.

Besides, as Elizabeth I was once quoted as saying "Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor." Anger doesn't inspire us to greater things. It's a product of weak character, of poor judgement and petty fixations. It's a cheap fix that we become dependent on, but then do nothing to improve ourselves or the situation.

The more we practise patience though, the less likely anger will drive us to do or say things of ill advice. As artist, inventor and philosopher Leonardo da Vince put it, "Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patient when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind."

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd