Stuck in a Bad Relationship

Deep down, you know your relationship is not working. When you're along, you harbour desires of calling it off. Yet, when you're with your partner, you can't seem to say what you want. you know that your partner's behaviour is causing you consistent disappointment and grief but you can't seem to let go and move on.

If this sounds familiar, you could be trapped in a bad relationship.

Some people are just naturally attracted to bad relationship. Others are clinging to false hope. Some are simply in denial; they just cannot believe how "heaven" so to speak has degenerated into such a "hell".

One common fear compelling a person to stay in a bad relationship is the belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could be interested in you or love you. You have grown so attached to your partner that you've forgotten your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and having to take care of yourself.

Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying.

Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behaviour since he or she is supporting you. Having a child together can also cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your child's mother or father.

On a deeper level, you could be stuck in a disappointing relationship due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be denied love, concern and understanding.

So how can you get out of this destructive relationship?

First of all, you have to acknowledge that your relationship is a distorted one, one that you would do better to be rid of. Stop holding yourself hostage because you don't have to.

Stop making excuses for your partner's behaviour. simply hoping for him or her to change is pointless. what you can do is confront him or her about the problem and see if the relationship can be save.

If not, then you must muster the courage to end the relationship. The initial stage will be difficult and you can expect to feel some mental and physical discomfort. But that feeling will pass. the new freedom and empowerment you will gain will erase any bad feelings of the past.

Remember, you deserve better.

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Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd