Controlling Our Minds

Our minds, if left to their own devices, will cause us to live unhappy, unfulfilling lives. This is because they've been conditioned over the years to accept certain beliefts that limit our spiritual growth - things like "not changing is safe", "don't take risks", and "being sure is better than going into the unknown".

This is probably due to our primal instinct for survival. Certainly for a Neanderthal scampering among prehistoric flesh-eating giants, it's probably smarter not to take a different route back to your cave everyday. But in today's context, where our daily preoccupation is not hunting for food and avoiding being food, we need more intellectual stimulation to keep our minds and spirits in optimum condition. When we "play it safe" or get into comfortable routines, we grow dull and listless.

The mind is life a child. Its intelligence will always include some primal remnants that equate change to death, discomfort to death, and discipline to death. It must be trained and given guidance by a loving but firm spirit in order to fulfill its true purpose.

For our greater good, we have to let the spirit control the mind. every week, try adopting one life-enhancing practice consistently. You will find that when the spirit takes control in these instances that the mind will protest - it will try to persuade you that it's too difficult, that it's better to have things status quo, that you need your fixes to soothe the frustrations of life.

Try out these exercises to train your spirit to control your mind for greater self-enhancement.

1. Take on a small project that requires some level of discipline that you would normally not bring to the table. Complete the project successfully.

2. Eliminate a counter-productive habit that you are addicted to, such as drinking coffee, hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock, not drinking sufficient quantities of water, etc.

3. Read about the true nature of addiction and discover your own and how it ruining your life then decide, fully aware of the consequences, if you will continue done that path and every time you indulge remind yourself of the consequences you are choosing.

4. Observe other people living chaotic, problematic lives and then own up to where you are also doing the same thing.

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd


Relationships and Self Esteem

What attracts a human being to another? And what makes a relationship work?

The key is a healthy sense of self worth. Animals are driven by instinct, primal desire and the need for survival. a beast is seldom defeated by how "ugly" it thinks it looks... if at all. It simply accentuates its strengths. But when it comes to humans, it gets trickier. We ignore our strengths and dwell on our weaknesses.

If you have low self esteem, you tend to believe that most people are more attractive than you, and that there's nothing you can do to improve your appearance. As a result, you don't bother about grooming, your wardrobe is drab and ten years old, you walk around with a perpetual scowl, and you probably always say negative things about yourself to other people. This has a self-fulfilling effect. You essentially become the unpleasant and unsightly person you perceive yourself to be.

On the other hand, a little attention to your hair, your clothes, your demeanour and how you carry yourself could dramatically lift your self-image and how others perceive you. This may come across as shallow, but we can't deny that we live in a visual world. What we see and what we tell ourselves and others has a very profound impact on our reality. A little vanity never hurt anyone; and who says an appealing physical presence is not healthy? A trim body is also probably a healthy one. Good grooming also means good hygiene. A cheerful manner opens up opportunities for meaningful friendships. And good posture could save you a lot of back problems later in life.

If you think you're unplesant-looking, do something about it! There are perfectly healthy ways to improve your looks. And while enhancing your body, don't forget your mind and soul. Absorb knowledge! Take up a course, pick up a sport, read, travel, cook! Volunteer your services to charity. Meaningful activities also often take place in environments where meaningful relatinoships can blossom.

We sometimes assume that most people are superficial and materialistic - that they tend to value looks, physique, charisma, intelligence, wealth and social status more than love, talent, honesty, sincerity, compassion and simplicity. Because of this, we try to present a version of ourselves that we feel fit into the mould of the perfect partner. In other words, we suppress our true selves in order to impress. The fact is, people are most attracted to people who are comfortable with who they are. So be yourself on dates. You'll be surprised at how many people will be delighted at how refreshingly real and candid you are.

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd


Healing Through Acceptance

When misfortune occurs, many people try to deny or resist it. They go through the exhausting and pointless cycle of thoughts that goes something like "No, no, this can't be happening!" or "Why is this happening to me?", usually meaning "Why is this happening to poor ol' harmless me?".

As a result, they go through long periods of emotional suffering that can be damaging to their psychological or physical health. They waste a lot of energy and time rejecting what's happening to them instead of healing themselves by accepting their situation.

Now by accepting the situation, I don't mean going through life thinking everything that happens to you is ok. What I mean is, although it's completely natural to react with disbelief and resistance when something seemingly bad happens, you can only being to mend when you accept your plight and move on.

Some things happen to us that are completely out of our hands. You might call these "acts of God" if you're the religious type, or genuine accidents that you have no control over, like natural disasters or a reckless driver in your lane.

But we have to accept responsibility for most of the things that happen to us in life. Being in a developed country in the 21st century means that most of us have all our basic needs covered - food, shelter, education, healthcare, sanitation and so on. Which leaves us with things like our emotional needs, our value systems, our desires and ambitions, and our behaviour.

These stem from our attitudes towards and perceptions of ourselves, others, our surroundings and the wider world. And we have the power to tweak these attitudes and perceptions to influence our mental well-being and potential for love, joy and success.

So when something seemingly "bad" happens to us, the fastest and most direct route to recovery is acknowledging and accepting it - "Yes, it happened. And yes, I may have had a role to play in creating it. What can I learn from this? How can I improve things? How can I improve myself? How can I move on?"

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd


5 Habits of Extraordinary People

Most of us would never choose to be average. But many of us continue to under-perform and remain stagnant because we don't actively think about and do what would elevate us above mediocrity. So the first step really, is to emphatically reject mediocrity and the idea of "just getting by". Commit to developing these habits that extraordinary people share:

#1. Build a vision or focus. Where do you see yourself heading? What do you want to improve? do you want to own a business? Do you want to build a closer bond with your family members? Do you want to have a fitter body? Are you planning a dream retirement? Schedule activities everyday that help you along this path.

#2. Break out of your molds and routines. What do you say when people ask you questions to which you don't know or are unsure of the answers? Do you simply say "I don't know"? Successful people never say "I don't know". Their creative and quick-thinking minds reach into their mental stores to fashion a plausible answer, usually more than one. They may not be right all the time, but this trains their minds to think fast and develop creative, alternative solutions. Successful people like to think that there is always a way and that they will find it. These people disdain tried and tested methods and conforming to society's ideals of what they should be.

#3. Regularly take time to rest, unwind, and enjoy life and the gifts that have been given to them. They know when to take a step back or out of the circle to see the bigger picture. Mediocre people, or the other hand, are always telling you how busy they are, how they have no space to breathe and relax. In reality, these people are afraid to stop and examine where all this frantic comes from. This blur of "busyness" is a cover for a humdrum, run-of-the-mill, ordinary existence.

#4. Welcome and embrace change. Extraordinary people understand that change is necessary for growth and life and they look forward to it, even being part of the force that brings about change. They don't react to the world, the evolve dynamically with it. They love new experiences and thinking about how things could be made better.

#5. Believe that happiness comes from within themselves and not from outside sources. Extraordinary people don't believe that a certain thing or person will bring happiness, and they don't wait to be happy. They don't think "I'll be happy when...". They strive to find joy wherever they are.

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd


Attracting the Right People

Why do we seem to attract the same type of people or situations over and over again? Why do you meet the people you meet? Why do you consistently get yourself into positions or places where you feel frustrated or powerless?

Almost all of us, at some point in our lives, has thought about these questions.

Well, our relationships are reflections of what we desire in our lives, either consciously or unconsciously. When we communicate to the creative centre in our mind that we only deserve this much, that we are not worthy of better people or better things, then that's just what we get. You attract what you think about, what you believe.

All of our relationships with friends, romantic partners, co-workers and even casual acquaintances tell us something about ourselves. When we recognize and play attention to the teachings of the people around us, we have the opportunity to improve our circumstances and ourselves.

So how can you attract more fulfilling, mature and lasting relationships?

Begin writing down what's lacking in your relationships or what's irritating you. By creating this list of what doesn't make you feel good, you can learn to focus on what you actually do want from your connections with other people. It can also help you begin making small changes in the kind of people you see as a potential mate of friend.

Acknowledge you gratitude for having these connections with other people. Rather than focusing on how much you want things to change, begin to focus on your relationships as learning about yourself. Using gratitude to convey that you are on your learning path can help communicate a sense of well being all through yourself that others can perceive as well. By focusing on what the other person is helping you with, you can shift your attention to their positive traits as well, thus allowing yourself to create a different reaction to being in this person's presence and allowing the connection to shift into a better relationship.

By choosing to recognize the learning experiences offered by our connections with other people, we can bring ourselves into better spiritual alignment with ourselves. This can enable us to live happier, healthier and more productive lives as well as create better relationships with other people. as you continue to work with these learning possibilities with others, you can create a different response to life, enabling yourself to feel more balanced and in tune with yourself and everyhing around you.

Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd