Forgiving someone who has done you an injustice is difficult; it even feels illogical, because we feel that we are letting the wrongdoer off the hook. But forgiving does not equate letting someone off the hook. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you are condoning bad behaviour. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It's about you.
You forgive people not for their sake, but for your own sake. You forgive because that's the only way you can set yourself free. When you forgive, you're letting go of anger, of hurt, helplessness or shame. Like love, when forgiveness is given unconditionally, it's incredibly empowering for the giver. When you set conditions on forgiveness, you give power to your tormentors. You make it easier for them to hurt you again.
Stress is often caused by regrets and resentments we have been holding on to for years. These grudges rob us of peace of mind and hamper our growth.
Peace of mind is required for healing to take place. Forgiveness can bring that peace of mind. That said though, nobody should demand or expect forgiveness from you. It is nobody's birthright to be forgiven. It's up to you when you are ready and when you want to forgive them. You have to work through your anger and sense of loss before you will be able to do that. Others can ask you for forgiveness but not expect it. To expect forgiveness builds up even more resentment.
But we all should practice forgiveness regularly to unclutter our mind. When we forgive, we remove what's blocking our energy and happiness. We open doors to fresh air and light.
Eugine Loh, 938Live, MediaCorp Pte Ltd